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Full text of "Hospital pencillings : being a diary while in Jefferson General Hospital, Jeffersonville, Ind., and others at Nashville, Tennessee, as matron and visitor"

DONATION BY 



DR. AND MRS. ELMER BELT 




THE LIBRARY 

OF 

THE UNIVERSITY 

OF CALIFORNIA 

LOS ANGELES 

GIFT OF 



DR. AND MRS. ELMER BELT 



V 






'llli 



I.' > 




HOSPITAL PENCILLmaS 



A DIARY 

WHILE IN JEFFETISON GENERAL HOSPITAL, 

JEFEERSONVILLE, IND., AND OTHERS AT NASHVILLE 

TENNESSEE, 



MATRON AND VISITOR, 



By ELVIRA J. POWERS. 



" And at each step, 

His bloody falchion makes 

Terrible vistas, through which victory breaks. 

We may tread the sick-bed floors 

Where strong men pine, 
And, down the groaning corridori. 
Pour freely from our liberal stores 

The oil and wine." 



BOSTON: 

EDWARD L. MITCHELL, 24 CONGRESS STREET 
186G. 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1S66, 

By ELVIRA J. POWERS, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts 



At 
X 

F 

TO OUR 

LOYAL COUNTRYWOMEN, 

WHO, AT HOME, IX CAMP, FIELD, OH CITY HOSPITAL, 

BY PURITY, TRUE WOMANLINESS, AND THAT LABOR WHICH IS 

WORSHIP, 

" BY EVERY DEED OP GOOD THAT ANYWHERE 

MAKl-TH THE HANDS OF HOLY AVOMAN WHITE;'' 

HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THE AID, COMFORT AND CONSOLATION 

OF OUR 

SICK, WOUNDED, AND D^ING 
"BRAVES IN BLUE;" 

AND TO THE MEMORY OF THOSE WHO HAVE FALLEN VICTIMS 
TO THIS LABOR OF LOVE, 

IS THIS HUMBLE VOLUME 

AFFECTIONATELY DEDICATED. 



PREFACE. 



Some one has said " books are our best friends." If this 
be true, what need is there to offer an apology for presenting 
one more to the notice of the public ? And yet, as the asser- 
tion is true only of those which leave no stain upon the mind, 
but rather like the insensible action of the sun and dew upon 
the bleaching linen on the greensward, leave it purer than 
before, it is well to know what is presented for our perusal. 

The inducement which the author had for offering this little 
A'olume to the public w^as the fact that at the commencement 
of this four years' war, it was next to impossible to obtain 
any information upon the subject of the duties and trials of 
women nurses in military hospitals. This fact, together with 
the terrible stories afloat with regard to such duties and trials, 
was the cause of her not entering the service two years sooner. 
The papers were almost silent upon the subject until about 
this time, when the little which appeared was read with ex- 
ceeding avidity. 

Although this war has eliminated much in the way of 
musical, poetical and literary talent, yet comparatively little 
has appeared pertaining to the minutia of hospital service. 
But that little has such a charm for the author, that she has 
hoped her own record of experiences and observations may 
be received with something of the feeling with wliich she 
welcomes others. 



VI. PREFACE. 

Indeed she has some earnest hope of this in the fact that 
some part of " Hospital Pencillings " were published in the 
Neio Covenant^ of Chicago, Illinois, where they " attracted 
much attention." 

Not professing to treat of hospital life as a whole through- 
out the country, it gives a simple record of scenes and events, 
just as they occurred from day to day under her own observa- 
tion. Thus much for the matter. 

As regards the manner, if it will have any' influence towards 
softening the point of the critic's stiletto to know that much 
of it was written in a sick ward, while surrounded by sick 
and wounded soldiers, momentarily interrupted with questions, 
or in short intervals of leisure between caring for their wants, 
or after the day's labor was over and the worn nerves called 
instead for 

" Tired nature's sweet restorer," 

he is more than welcome to a knowledge of the fact. 

In conclusion, if this little volume will serve to awaken a 
deeper interest in and a wider appreciation of our invalid and 
crippled soldiers, as 

" They are coining from the wars. 
And bringing home their scars," 

so that they shall be benefitted by such interest and apprecia- 
tion, one more cause for gratitude to the All-Father will be 
granted 

The Author. 



C(3NTENTS. 



CHAPTER I.— The Trip to Dixie. Incidents at Louisville De- 
pot. The Judge. Arrival at " City-of-the-Rocks." . 1 

CHAPTER II. — Incidents and Personal Histories in Hospitals 

No. 1 and 8, Nashville, Tennessee. "Wounded." . . 13 

CHAPTER III.— Public and Private Buildings of Nashville and 
their Desecration by " Northern Vandals." Home of Ref- 
ugees. Incidents 30 

CHAl'TER IV.— Assigned to Duty in Small-Pox Hospital. 
" Sixty Cases of Measles." The Crazy Sergeant. Oswald. 
Fishing on Dry Ground. Our Dish of Oysters. . . 42 

CHAPTER V. — Home of Christian Commission. Refugees 
Home. '* A Woman what could Read." " Yankees have 
Horns." A Confiscated Equipage. A Sermon in Camp. 
Sherman starts for the Front. Colored School. A Won- 
derful Secret. A Chaplain's Short-comings. " Colored 
Preaching." Aunt Nancy 54 

CHAPTER VI.— Day of Jubilee. " No Whipping Here," Lit- 
tle Clarke. The White Negro. The Coffin Measure. 
" Miss Betty." Ruse with a Maniac. The Secret Mes- 
senger. Lecture in the Capitol by Moonlight. ' . 70 

CHAPTER VII.— A Trip on the Cumberiand, Ohio and Missis- 
sippi Rivers in Charge of an Invalid. The Dark River. 
Convalescing. Double Rations. Little Ada's Love Feast. 
South Again. Clay Hospital at Louisville. ... 80 

CHAPTER VIII.— Home of Sanitary Commission, Nashville, 
Tennessee. The Field of Cotton. The Capitol. The 
Penitentiary and the Maniac. An Evening of Incidents. 
The Negro Dance. My little Contraband. . . . 97 



Vlll. CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER IX.-^efferson General Hospital, JefFersom-ille, Indi- 
ana. Assigned to Dut}'. Gangrene Tents. A Letter and 
Reply. Sunday Moniing Inspection. Funeral Service. 
A Sing for the Patients. Our Crazy Colonel. Incidents. 
The First Death in Ward I. The Starnng, Patriotic 
Woman. Christmas Dinner. Sergeant Clarke. Mrs. 
Partington's Opinion of the Hospital. Mj own and Rebel 
Loye Letters 119 

CHAPTER X.— A New Year's Donation. " Youans and We- 
uns." Transfer. Our Ladies' Mess. Letter from Guard 
House. Hospital Boats. Sick and Wounded Union Sol- 
diers turned out of Warm Quarters to make Room for 
Rebels. Deaths from Same Cause. Small-Pox Patient. 
" General Sherman's Flanking Machine." A Victim to 
Incon-ect Diagnosis. A Family of Patriots. Sanitary 
Stores. An Eastern Hospital. Willie's Story. Asleep 
on Guard. The Grape- Vine Telegraph. Voracious Pigs 
and Chickens 153 

CHAPTER XL — Blessings of the Sanitary Commission. Inci- 
dents. The Lesson of Lincoln's Assassination. " Hospi- 
tal no Place to form Attachments." Supper in the Ward. 
Effects of Order to Discharge Veterans. Our Flower Gar- 
dens. Pi-esentations. Soldier's Library kept Boxed up. 
" A Rainy Day in Camp." Clerking at Headquarters. 
Incidents. Last Day in Hospital. Retrospection. . . 184 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS, 



CHAPTER I 

A TRIP TO DIXIE. 



" How they went forth to die ! 
Pale, earnest thousands from the dizzy mills, 
And sunburnt thousands from the harvest hills, 
Quick, eager thousands from the city's streets, 
And storm-tried thousands from the fisher's fleets^ 

How they went forth to die ! 

How ye went forth to save 1 
O Merciful ! with swift and tireless heed 
Along the myriad ways of pain and need, 
With laden hand and ever watchful eye. 
Fixed on the thousands going forth to die 1 

How ye went forth to save ! " 

On boaed the "Gen. Buell,'' 
Ohio River, April 1, 1864. 

Having been duly commissioned and ordered to " report; 
immediately at Nashville, Tenn., for hospital service at the 

front," my friend, Miss N O , and myself find 

ourselves steaming down the Ohio, between Cincinnati and 
Louisville. 

Thus far we are quite ignorant of the duties of hospital 
Ufe, though so soon to enter upon them. Our Northern friends 
have been questioned to little purpose, except that of ascer- 
taining how very little knowledge there is upon the subject ; 
and the papers are equally silent. 
1 



2 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

This fact determines me to keep some sort of a journal, 
however imperfect. It will of course necessarily be so, as I 
must neglect no duty for the sake of scribbling about it. 

We have just been seeking information of our gentle- 
manly^ escort, Mr. R., of Louisville. He, it appears, has an 
innate love of humor and a peculiarly dry and quiet way of 
quizzing people. Here was a fine 02:)portunity. But Ave de- 
termine to ward off the attacks as skilfully as possible with 
the little knov/ledge we do possess. He says : — 

" Well, ladies, I suppose you are prepared to make bread 
and gruel, sweep and moj), make beds, dress wounds and 
plough ? " 

In rejDly the gentleman was informed that had we not been 
proficient in each, especially the ploughing, we should never 
have dared to make application for the situation. 

He explained by informing us that one of the Southern 
refugees, who confessed herself unable to do either of the 
( jthers, said she " could plough." 

" Arid I suppose 3-ou have each brought good knives along 
with you? " was the next query. 

"Knives — oh yes, but for what purpose do you mean?" 
And visions of being set to amputate limbs or to protect our- 
selves against personal assaults flitted through our minds. 

" Well, nothing, only you'll have an enormous amount of 
onions to peel for those boys down there. You can peel those 
during the night, for you'll hardly have time in the day, that's 
tlie way I used to do." 

" Did you ? That's pleasant employment. I've practised 
it considerably myself, but didn't, like you, have the satisfac- 
tion of knowing during the grievous operation tliat I was 
shedding tears for the irood of my country." 

Then he wished to know whether in our visits to the sick 
wards we should " notice only the good looking ones." Uj^on 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 3 

being informed that we have fully determined to minister to 
such only as looked as if they were ministers, doctors, lawyers 
or editors, the gentleman seemed satisfied that we were fully 
fitted for the service. Still he felt called upon to caution us 
against excessive attention even to such, by relating that one 
of the class was asked by a lady visitor if she might " comb 
his hair." 

" Yes — you — may,'' meekly responded the sufferer, '' but it 
will be the thirteenth time to day." 

Evening. 

Just at sunset we passed North Bend, and had a glimpse 
of the tomb of President Harrison. The remains of Mrs. 
Harrison have within the last thirty days been laid by the side 
of the old hero. The place was pointed out by Dr. S., of 
Louisville, who is a second cousin to Mrs. Harrison. He in- 
formed us that the brother of his grandfather received a grant 
of all the land lying between the " Big and Little Miami," 
and extending back sixteen miles from their mouths. 4500 
acres of this was willed to the grandfather of the Doctor and 
about the same to the mother of Mrs. H. 

Dr. S. also informed us that he was the only one in Louis- 
ville who voted for Lincoln. That the polls were twice 
declared closed, and the clerk with oaths refused to record his 
vote, when the son of one of our Generals — I regret having 
forgotten the name — peremptorily ordered it done ; when an 
A. and L. and a long black stroke was dashed ujion the record. 
The baser sort had all day threatened hanging him ui)on the 
back porch, but at the close of the day most of them were 
safely intoxicated. 

The Doctor has the sad trial of losing a son, Avho had by 
the offer of military emolument been drawn into the Confed- 
erate service. He was wounded or taken sick and carried to 



4 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Ohio, where a brother took care of him till his death. The 
father wished him brought home, and funeral services per- 
formed, but the military authorities of Louisville forbade it, as 
similar occasions had drawn out crowds of two or three 
thousands of secession proclivities. Then he was buried in 
Ohio, but when the citizens of the loyal little town learned 
that he had been in the Confederate service, they ol)liged Dr. 
S. to remove the body. That such staunch loyalists should 
suffer innocently is one of the saddest features of this re- 
bellion. 

In the course of conversation this evening we were informed 
by the Doctor that we were to pass the next day within seven 
miles of Mammoth Cave. And he spoke of the subterranean 
streams and mills in the vicinity, and of the blind fishes in 
the waters of the Cave. 

" Yes," said Mr. R., in his usual serious way, " and I be- 
lieve that is where your people go a craw-fishing ! " 

The Doctor replied in the affirmative, but in a tone which 
excited my curiosity. Here was a chance to add to my rather 
meagre stock of knowledge in natural history, and with the 
anxiety of a reporter for something out of which to manufac- 
ture an item, I inquired what kind of fish those were — if that 
was the name given to those blind fishes in the cave. To my 
astonishment a universal laugh greeted me from the trio. An 
explanation followed ; and it seems that the same or something 
similar to what at the North we find in creeks and ditches, 
and call fresh-water crabs, there bear the name of craw-fish. 
And moreover as those crawl backward, they have attached 
a meaning to the term, so that when a man " puts his hand 
to the plough and looks back," he is said to have " gone a 
craw-fishing." So, like that notable traveller in Pickwick 
Papers, I can make a note of the discovery of a new kind of 
fish of the skedaddle genus. Hallicarnassus was decidedly 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 5 

wrong in thinking one can sail around the world in an arm- 
chair. He should have considerately assisted that big trunk 
down stairs, and benignly seconded Gail's efforts to go abroad 
and see the world, for peradventure she might learn something 
even about craw-fish, 

Saturday, April 2. 

Reached the " City of the Falls " in the night. Left the 
boat about six this morning, took a hasty breakftist at the 
" National," then a hack for the depot, calling at the office of 
Provost INFarshal to secure passes on train to Nashville. Am 
pleasantly impressed with Louisville. A pretty green plot 
in front of private residences, even if quite small, with linden, 
ailanthus and magnolia trees, are peculiarities of the city. It 
is too early for the foliage of the trees to be seen, but the 
deep green, thick grass and the blossoms of the daffodil are 
in striking contrast to the snow I saw in the latitude of Chi- 
cago and Buffalo only day before yesterda}^ 

The cars are now so crowded with soldiers en route for 
" the front," that it is quite difficult for citizens to find pass- 
age. Some have to wait several days before they can find an 
opportunity. Only one car is appropriated for this use, and 
ladies with their escort always have the preference. Thus 
gentlemen who are alone are liable to be left. As we were 
leaving the " National " this morning a gentleman rushed out 
and in(|uired if we were going to take the Southern train, 
and if there was only one gentleman to the two ladies. lie 
" begged pardon — knew he was a stranger — wished to go to 
Bowling Green—his wife was sick and he had written her lie 
would be home to-day. If the ladies would be so kind as to 
pass him along, and if the gentleman would step with him 
into the office he could convince him, through the keeper of 
the " National," that he was a man of honor." 
2 



b HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Mr. R. referred the matter to the ladies. They decided to 
take under their protecting wing the lone gentleman and see 
him safe home if the interview with the landlord, with whom 
Mr. R. was fortunately acquainted, should prove satisfactory. 
It was so, and Mr. Moseby — not the guerilla as himself in- 
formed us — entered the hack. He had " taken the oath of 
allegiance," he said, and "lived up to it, but had a right to 
his own thoughts." 

Upon arriving at the depot found the ladies' car locked, 
and we were left standing by it while the two gentleman 
looked after the baggage. Mr. R. was not to accompany us 
farther. Soon an elderly, jiale-looking man, with a white 
neck-tie, came up, who asked if we each had a gentleman 
travelling with us. We hesitated and evaded the question. 
This was being in too great demand altogether. It was not 
even included in Mr. R.'s list of our duties. He "was 
really hoping we had not, and that one of us would take pity 
on an old man and pass him along." 

His fatherly look and manner banished selfishness, and he 
was told to wait until the gentlemen returned, and we would 
see about it. As they did so Mr. Moseby stepped up and 
cordially shook hands with the old man, calling him " Judge." 
But all Southerners are styled judges, captains, colonels or 
generals, thought I, and this one is an honest old farmer nev- 
ertheless. As Mr. M. assured us that he was " all right," 
and a " man of honor," I told him he might occupy half of 
my seat in the car. But it was not long before I found that 
my poor old farmer was no less a personage than Judge 
Joseph R. Underwood, one of the most noted men and pio- 
neers of Kentucky. He has been Judge of the Supreme 
Court of that State six years, a United States Representative 
for ten years and a Senator for six. 

A spruce little Captain came through to examine military 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 7 

passes before the cars started. Quite a number of citizens 
were left as usual, and as we were moving off I heard one 
young man exclaim in desperation that he would " go right 
back to the city and marry." The gentlemen congratulated 
themselves upon their good fortune, and the subject elicited 
the following incidents : 

A gentleman of Mr. M.'s acquaintance could get no admis- 
sion to the cars, no lady would take him under her care, and 
he asked the baggage agent if he might get in the baggage 
car. That functionary said he had orders to admit no one. 

*' Then you'll not give me permission, but if I get in will 
you put me out ? " 

No answer was made, but the agent walked away, and the 
man, thinking like children, that " silence gives consent," en- 
tered the baggage car and remained. 

Another gentleman, a merchant of Bowling Green, by 
name F — C — , could get no chance to ride. But fortunately 
having on a blue coat, in desperation he stepped up to a man 
with the two bars on his shoulder who was jDuttiug his sol- 
diers aboard, and said with a pleading look and tone : 

" Captain, can't you lengthen out my furlough just two days 
longer ? " 

'*No," said the Captain, in a quick authoritative tone, 
" you've been loafing 'round these streets long enough, in with 
you," and he made a motion as if he would materially assist 
his entrance if he didn't hurry. 

" Well, if I must I must, but its hai'd, Captain." 

^ No more words," was the short reply, " in with you." 

Another was related by an eye witness. A lady who was 
travelling alone was about stej^ping into the car, when a gen- 
tleman, who was trembling with anxiety lest he should be 
left, stepped uj") and offered to take her box. He did so, and 
stepping in behind was allowed a seat by her side, cautiously 



8 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

retaining the box. He had two comrades equally desirous of 
securing a passage, who had seen his success. One of them 
stepped to the car window and whispered him to pass out the 
box. It was slyly done, and the gentleman marched solemnly 
in with the weighty responsibility. The box went through 
the window again, and again walked in at the door, until it 
must have been thoroughly " taken in " as well as the guard. 

Just out of the city w^e passed a camjD and saw soldiers 
lying under the little low " dog tents " as they are called, and 
in the deejp^ clay 7nud, while only a few rods distant was a 
plenty of green sward. Any officer who woidd compel his 
men to pitch tents where those were ought to be levelled to 
the ranks. 

I saw" for the first time to-day, fortifications, stockades, rifle- 
pits, and mounted cannon at the bridges. We passed over the 
battle-ground of Mumfordsville, and saw the burnt fences and 
tlie levelled trees wdiich were to obstruct the march of our 
troops, and the building which was used by them as a hospi- 
tal. In the deep cut passes one sees suddenly the picturesque 
figure of a negro soldier, far above upon the heights, who 
with shining uniform and glittering bayonet stands like a 
statue, guarding the portals of liberty. At the fortifications 
are sign-boards upon which are printed in large letters, 
" Please a drop a paper," while perhaj^s half a dozen hands 
point to it as the train whirls past. Some paj)ers were thrown 
out. There were other things which had for our Northern 
eyes the charm of novelty. A half respectable or squalid 
farm-house, with a huge chimney upon the outside, and with 
a huddle of negro quarters. Also negro women with turbans 
upon their heads, working out of doors, and driving teams — 
in one case on a load of tobacco, while driving a yoke of 
oxen. The total absence of country school-houses, and the 
squalid and shiftless appearance of the buildings and peoj)le 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 9 

at the depots, are in striking contrast to the neat little towns 
of the Northern and Eastern States. The scenery is fine, 
much of the soil good, and the water-power extensive. Nature 
has dealt bountifully with Tennessee and Kentucky, but the 
accursed system of slavery has blasted and desolated the land, 
and both races, black and white, are reaping the mildewed 
harvest. 

I find my honorable companion very entertaining and in- 
structive. I am indebted to him for many items of interest, 
both concerning the early settlers, and also the modern history 
of the places we pass. His personal history is full of interest, 
and is one more proof that early poverty is not necessarily a 
barrier to honor and position. The Judge was given away 
by his parents to an uncle, who educated him, gave him five 
dollars and told him he must then make his own way in the 
world. Another uncle lent him a horse, and he set out to 
seek his fortune as lawyer and politician. He has in trust 
the fortune of an eccentric old bachelor, which is known in 
Warren County as the Craddock fund. Three-fourths of this 
is used to educate charity children, while the other fourth pays 
the .Judge for his care of the fund. His friend Captain C, 
while upon his death-bed, sent for the drummer and fifer to 
play tunes in the yard, and from those selected such as he 
wished played at his funeral. He was buried with military 
honors. 

'-^ Muldroughs-Hill " which we saw, is a long ridge extend- 
ing about one hundred miles from the mouth of Salt-River 
to the head of Rolling-Fork. It was named from an early 
settler who lived twenty miles from the others, and was far- 
thest west. Rolling-Fork is a tributary of Salt-River. The 
origin of the term " going up Salt-River " originated at a 
little place we passed, now called Shepherdsville. It has 
only four or five hundred inhabitants. But in its early days 



10 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

its salt licks supplied all the Western country with salt, and 
was a growing aspirant for popularity, as it invited so much 
trade. It was a rival of Louisville, but unlike that, made no 
provision for its future well-being, but depended on its pre- 
sent worth alone. " Thus," moralized the Judge, " do we often 
see two young men start out with equal advantages, and find 
afterw^ard that one became a Shepherdsville, and the other a 
Louisville." Now there is a bridge at Shepherdsville guarded 
by cannon, then there was no bridge and ferry-boats were used. 
It was not a smooth stream, and to cross, one must row up 
tlie river some one hundred rods before heading the boat to 
the opposite shore. Owing to the rapidity of the current, it 
was hard rowing, and great strength was needed. There 
were those engaged in the making of salt who were called 
kettle-tenders, and who for the most part were a low, rough 
set, being often intoxicated and quarrelsome. Two of these 
having a fight, the victor finished with the triumphant excla- 
mation of 

" There, I've rowed you up Salt River !" 

Lincoln's birth-place is near this, in the adjoining County 
of Larue — although this was not the name at the time of his 
birth. And how little did the mother of Lincoln think, as 
she taught him the little she knew of books, that the people 
in the vicinity would ever have cause to exclaim of him, in 
relation to his rival for the Presidency, as the}^ do of the 
successful politician — " he has rowed him ujd Salt River !" 

There is a little river called " Xolin," which waters his 
birth-place. It was so named from the fact that in the early 
settlement upon its banks a man named Linn was lost in the 
woods, and never found. He was probably killed by the In- 
dians. But the neighbors searched for several days, and at 
night met at a place upon its banks, calling to each other as 
they came in, " No Linn," — " No Linn, yet." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 11 

The Judge has carried lead in his body for over fifty years, 
received in the war of 1812. He was in the battle on the 
Maumee river called Dudley's defeat. The regiment, under 
Dudley, had crossed the river to take cannon of the enemy, 
which they succeeded in doing, but instead of returning they 
pursued them two or three miles, leaving a few behind to 
protect the captures. But a detachment of the enemy passexl 
around in their rear, retook the cannon, and when the regi- 
ment returned, their retreat was cut off, and all were taken 
prisoners and obliged to run the gauntlet. About forty were 
killed in running the gauntlet. The Judge saw that the line 
of men which had formed at a little distance from, and par- 
allel with the river, had a bend in it, and that if he ran close 
to the guns they would not dare fire for fear of hitting their 
own men. The Indians were armed with guns, tomahawks, 
and war clubs. In that day the gun was accompanied with 
what was called the " wiping-stick," which was a rod made of 
hickory notched, and wound with tow, and used to clean the 
gim. He escaped by receiving a whipping with some oftho.se 
sticks. It was the last gauntlet ever run in the United States. 

During the trip I had quite a spirited but good-natured 
discussion upon the condition of the country, with Mr. M., 
who I found is really a strong rebel symjDathizer. He wor- 
ships Morgan since his late raid into Ohio, and secretly cher- 
ishes his picture in his vest pocket. Just before reaching 
Bowling Green, where we were to separate, the fatherly old 
Judge took a hand of each in his own, and with moisture in 
his eyes and a tremor in his voice, said : 

" My children, you represent the two antagonistic positions 
of tlie country, and like those, do not rightly understand each 
other, on account of sectional prejudices. And now let an 
old man who has watched the growth of both sections, who 
has, as he trusts, fought for their good in the field, the desk, 



12 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

and senate, join your hands in the grasp of good fellowship, 
and oh, how sincerely I wish that I could bring also together 
the North and South in one lasting peace V 

Soon after, he pointed out his residence — the cars stopped, 
and we parted with our pleasant friends. 

Reached the " City of the Eocks " about five, this P. M. 
Shall wait to see more of it, before making note of impres- 
sions. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 13 



CHAPTER II. 

Nashyille, Tenn., Thursday Evening, April 7. 

The present week, tlius far, has been to me, full of new and 
thrilling experiences. 

On Sabbath, the day after our arrival, I entered an ambu- 
lance and visited a camp for the first time. The company con- 
sisted of three, besides myself — Rev. Dr. D., a young theologi- 
cal student who is passing vacation here, and Miss T. The day 
was warm and springlike ; the hyacinths, crocuses, and peach 
ti-ees in blossom. It was the camp of the 7th Pennsylvania 
Cavalry, and situated upon one of the bights overlooking the 
City. The tents were white, the soldiers well-dressed, the 
uniform bright and everything tidy. A new and gaily paint- 
ed banner pointed out the tent of the Colonel. As we en- 
tered the grounds, that gentleman, with the Major, met us cor- 
dially, a seat was prepared for the ladies at the opening of 
the Colonel's tent, while a huge box in front served for a 
speaker's stand. The bugle then summoned such as wished to 
listen, and service was held by the two gentlemen of our 
party. Books and papers were afterward distributed, for 
which the soldiers seemed eager. The Colonel informed us 
that the Regiment had just been reorganized, and new re- 
cruits filled the vacant places in the ranks, made so by the he- 
roes, who fell at such battles as Lookout Mountain, Mission 
Ridge, and Chickamauga. There is a long list of such in- 
scribed upon this banner, of which they are justly proud. 

On Monday, visited a hospital for the first time. Was ac- 
3 



14 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

companied by Mrs. E. P. Smith, Mrs. Dr. F. and my travel- 
ling companion Miss 0, beside the driver. As the ambulance 
halted, we saw through the open door and windows the home- 
sick, pallid faces raised from the sick beds to greet us with a 
look of pleasure. Upon entering, almost the first object was 
that of a d^^ing boy. His name was John Camj^lin, of Co. G. 
49th Illinois Vols. He was a new recruit of only seventeen, 
and tlie victim of measles. He " did'nt want to die," but, af- 
ter the singing of such hymns as " Rock of Ages," and " Je- 
sus lover of my soul," he grew more resigned. I took the 
card which hung in a little tin case at the head of his bed, 
and copied the name and address of his father. The dying 
boy had been watching, and he then with difficult speech 
asked me to write to his j^eople and tell them "good bye," 
and that he was " going home." I tried to obtain a more 
lengthy message to comfort them, but speech was soon denied 
nd reason wandered. He died a few hours after, and the sad 
tidings was sent next day. 

Found another poor boy quite low, with pneumonia. He 
knew his condition, but with an heroic smile upon his wasted 
features said, that "if" his "life would do his dear country 
any good " he was " willing to give it." 

The Masonic Hall and First Presbyterian Church consti- 
tute Hospital, No. 8. We visited that on Tuesday. 

As we enter the Hall, past the guard, we find a broad flight 
of stairs before us, and while ascending, perceive this caution 
inscribed upon the wall in evergreen. 

" Remember you are in a hospital and make no noise." 
U]) this flight, and other cautions meet us, such as " No 
smoking here " — " Keep away from the wall," &c. We here 
pause at a door, and are introduced to the matron who is for- 
tunately just now going through the wards. It is Miss J — tt, 
of Ann Arbor, Michigan. 



HOSriTAL PETn^CILLINGS. 15 

Ascending another broad fiiglit, and asking in the mean- 
time of her duties, she throws open the door of the linen- 
room where are two clerks, and says : 

" This department comprises all the work assigned to me — 
whatever else I do is voluntary and gratuitous. " But to- 
day," she adds laughingly, " it would be difficult to define my 
duties. I think I might properly be called ' Commandant of 
the Black Squad,' or Chief of the Dirty Brigade ;" and she 
explained by saying that she had seven negro women and 
two men, subject to her orders, who were cleaning the build- 
ing. She next throws open the door of a ward which con- 
tains but a few patients, and has a smoky appearance. She 
tells us, they are fumigating it, having had some cases of* 
small pox, most of which have been sent to the proper Hos- 
pital. 

"We pass to another, where she tells us, previous to enter- 
ing, is one very sick bo}^ He is of a slight form, only fifteen, 
and with delicate girlish features. His disease is typhoid fe- 
ver, from the effects of which he is now quite deaf. As we 
approach, he says to her faintly, 

" Sit down here, mother, on the side of my bed." 

She does so, wdien he asks her to " to bend her head down 
so he can tell her something." This she does, when he says, 
quite loud, but with difficulty ; — " There's some money under 
my pillow, I want you to get it, and buy me some dried 
peaches." 

" I don't want your money," she says, " but you shall have 
the peaches if I can get them," and she writes a note and 
dispatches.it to the sanitary rooms for them." "This boy al- 
ways calls me mother," she says, " and the first day he was 
brought here, he sent his nurse to ask if I would come up 
and kiss him. He has always been his mother's pet, and I 
now correspond with her on his account." 



16 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

His fever is very high, and we pass our cold hand sooth- 
ingly over his forehead and essay to speak words of cheer, 
and as we turn to leave, he looks up pleadingly and says : 

" Can't you kiss me ?" 

" Yes, indeed, I can — am glad to do so," and we press our 
own to his burning lips and receive his feverish, unpleasant 
breath, not a disagreeable task though, for all, when we re- 
member that he is the pet of his mother, who misses him so 
very much, and who may never look upon her boy again. 

Of one — a middle-aged, despondent looking man we ask 
cheerily, how he is to-day. 

" About the same," he replies coldly, but with a look which 
.is the index of a thought like this : 

" Oh, you don't care for us or our comfort, — you are well, 
and have friends, and home, probably near you, and you can- 
not appreciate our suffering, and only come here to satisfy an 
idle curiosity." 

He does not say this, but he thinks it, and we read the 
thought in the voice, manner, and countenance. We deter- 
mine to convince him of his mistake, if possible, notwith- 
standing he looks as if he prefers we should walk along and 
leave him alone. 

" Were you wounded ? " we ask. 

" No — sick," was the short gruff answer. 

" Your disease was fever was'nt it ? " we persist, — '• your 
countenance looks like it." 

" Yes, fever and pneumonia," he replies in the same cold, 
but despairing tone. 

" Ah — but you're getting better now." 

" Don't know about it — reckon not." 

" Well, how is it about getting letters from home ? " 

His countenance, voice and manner undergo a sudden 
change now, and his eyes overrun with tears, at the simple 
words " letters from home." 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLIXGS. 17 

And as he raises his hand to his month, to conceal its qniv- 
ering, he tells us with tremulous voice that he has sent three 
letters to his wife and can get no answer. She has left the 
place where they used to live, and he does not know certainly 
where to direct. We ask who we can write to, to find out, 
and learn that a sister would know. We take the probable 
address of the wife, and that of the sister, and after some far- 
ther conversation leave him looking quite like another man 
as we promise to write to each in the evening. (Subse- 
quently, we learned that he received a reply to both, and was 
comparatively cheerful and very grateful.) 

Down stairs, and we enter a ward on the first floor. Here 
is a thin sallow visage, the owner of which j^iteously asks if 
we " have any oranges." " No," but we provide means, by 
which he can purchase. 

" I'm from North Carolina," he says, " I hid in the woods 
and mountains and lived on roots and berries for weeks, before 
I could get away." 

In reply to our query as to whether he would like a letter 
written home, he informs us that his wife and father arri^ ed 
in town only a few days ago. 

" Then you have seen them," we say. 

" Yes, they both visit me, but my wife comes oftenest." 

Just now^, his nurse, a young man who should know better, 
mterrupts- him by telHng us that " it isn't so, and his family 
are all in North Carolina." 

" That's just the way," said the sick man, turning to me 
with a flushed and angry look, " that they're talking to me all 
tiie time, and trying to make everybody think I'm crazy. I 
reckon / know whether I've seen my wife or not ! " 

" Of course you do," we say quietingly ; " does she bring 
you anything nice to eat ? " and we add that we wish she 
would come while we were there, so we could see her. 
•i 



18 HOSPITAL PENGILLINGS. 

" Well, she don't bring me much to eat," he says in a w€ak, 
hollow voice, but earnestly, " she don't understand fixin' up 
things nice for sick folks, and then she's weakly like, but she 
does all she can, for she's a right gude heart. She doesn't fix 
up, and look like you folks do, you know," he added, " for 
she's sort o' torn to pieces like by this war." 

" Yes, we can understand it." 

Upon inquiring about this man a few moments after of the 
Ward-Master, we find that he is really a monomaniac upon 
this subject, persisting in the declaration that his wife and 
father visit him often though no one sees them. 

" He can't live," said the Ward-Master, " he has lost all 
heart and is worn out. The chance of a Southerner to live 
after going to a hos^Dital is not over a fourth as good as for 
one of our Northern boys. They can do more fighting with 
less food while in the field, but when the excitement is over 
they lose heart and die." 

We find upon several subsequent visits that he is growing 
weaker, and at the last when his countenance indicates that 
death is near^ we are thankful that he is still comforted by 
these imaginary visits from father and wife. 

We crossed the street and entered the First Presbyterian 
Church, which constitutes a part of the hospital. This place 
is notable for the promulgation of secession sentiments from 
its pulpit in other days. A specimen of the style -was given 
here a short time before the entrance of our troops, by Prof. 
Elliott of the Seminary, who in a prayer besought the Al- 
mighty that he would so " prosper the arms of the Confeder- 
ates and bring to naught the plans of the Federals, that every 
hill-top, plain and valley around Nashville should be ivhite 
with the hones of the hated Ycmhees I " 

After hearing this it was doubly a pleasure, in company 
with Miss J., another " Northern vandal," to make the walls 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 19 

of the old church echo to the words of " The Star Spangled 
Banner," with an accompaniment from the organ ; and it 
would have done any loyal heart good to see how much pleas- 
ure it gave to the sick and wounded soldiers. 

Saturday Eve, April 9. 

Last Wednesday Miss O. and myself visited Hospital No. 
1, for the second time. 

They were just robing one young boy in his soldier's suit 
of blue for the last time. He was then borne to the dead- 
house. His name was Hickman Nutter, of the 31st Ohio. I 
secured the Post Office address of his people and that of sev- 
eral others who had died and had no message sent home. I 
passed the whole of the next day in writing soldiers' letters, 
and in my journal. My fortitude was sorely tried and really 
broke down after getting back, to find that in ward 1 alone 
from two to four boys are dying daily, while the Chaplain has 
not been in to speak to a single sick or dying boy for two 
weeks. Wards 2 and 3 have fared little if any better, as is 
the testimony of ward-masters and nurses. It is his duty also 
to write to the relatives of those who die, and common human- 
ity would dictate that it be done, and every comforting mess- 
age sent to them. I was told by the clerk, whose duty it 
was to collect the names for report in the public prints, that 
in no single instance had he known the Chaplain to attend to 
that duty. I was indignant and determined to report him, 
but was given to understand by more than one Christian 
minister, that the expression of indignation was considered a 
bad omen for my future success in hospitals. 

" People here," said one, kindly in explanation, " must 
learn to see and hear of all manner of evil and wickedness 
going on around them, and be as though they saw and heard 
not." 



20 HOSPITAL PEXCILLIXGS. 

Being by nature and birth an outspoken New Englander, 
and ha^•ing inhaled freedom of speech from the breezes which 
blow from the hills of the " Old Bay State," I fancy it will 
not be very easy becoming initiated into this phase of military 
service. 

We found several interesting cases on passing through 
wards 1, 2 and 3. 

In the first, saw one man in a dying condition, who was 
brought the night before. He was lifted from the ambulance 
and brought in by two men, who immediately left without 
being questioned or saying anything about him. The attend- 
ants were busy and expected to find all needed information in 
the medical papers, which it is rulable and customary to send, 
but which were not to be found. No one had observed the 
ambulance or men sufliciently to identify either. The disease 
could not be determined. There were no wounds and the 
lungs were in a healthy condition, but he w^as dying and in- 
sensible. A letter was fortunately found in his pocket, from 
his wife, which gave his name, company and regiment, as being 
Henry Clymer, Co. K., 128th Indiana. 

In passing through ward 2 we came to a handsome 
young man, who was looking so well compared with others 
tliat we were passing without speaking. But the nurse said 
to us: 

" This man is blind ! " 

Could it be possible ! His eyes to a casual observer were 
perfectly good, but ujdou a closer examination one saw that 
tlie pupil was greatly enlarged and the expression staring and 
vacant. Questions revealed the fact that he could see notliing 
except a faint light when looking towards the window. I 
asked the cause. 

" Medicine, the Surgeon here says," was the reply. " I had 
chills and fever while at the front, and the physician gave me 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING 3. 21 

large quantities of quinine, which made me blind. I have the 
ague now, but the Doctor dare not give any more quinine. I 
have been blind two weeks." 

" Doesn't the Surgeon think the medicine will leave your 
system, and that you may recover your sight?" 

''Well, he doesn't speak very encouragingly — says he 
doesn't know." 

And we now see that although the eyes cannot do duty in 
one way they can in another, for they absolutely rain tears, 
as he tells us with quivering lips, that his wife does not know 
anything about it ; that he is dreading to send her word by 
stranger hands, — he cannot bear to think that may be he can 
never write again, — never see her or other friends in this world. 
He is yet young and life has looked so pleasant ; he is a pro- 
fessing Christian, but finds it so hard to bear this affliction. 
And he sobs like a whipped child, as, kneeling by the head 
of his low bed, with hand upon his forehead, we listen to 
this recital and strive to comfort him. We tell him of others 
afflicted in the same way who have not passed a life of idle- 
ness in consequence, but of mental or physical activity. Of 
those who have risen superior even to this calamity, and in 
the battle of life have learned 

" How sublime a thing it is 
To suft'er and grow strong." 

He says our words have been a blessing, as we take his 
hand in a good-bye, and with a promise to break the news to 
his wife, as gently and hopefully as possible. [We do so 
subsequently and upon the last visit find that he has been 
gaining his sight so that he can distinguish forms, though not 
features. Again we stand by his vacant bed and learn that 
he with many others have been sent North to make room for 



22 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

more sufferers from the front. But lie was still o^ainiusr his 
sight.] 

In the same ward we find one slight young boy, who looks 
as if he ought to be at home with his mother, and we sin- 
cerely believe is crying because he isn't — though he'd be bay- 
onetted sooner than own it. He draws his sleeve across his 
red eyes as we approach, and upon our questioning informs 
us that he is " almost seventeen," and furthermore that he is 
" nearly half a head taller and two jiounds heavier than an- 
other boy in his regiment ; " but confesses that he is " right 
tired a' laying this way day after day — fact is I'd a heap sight 
rather be at home if I could get to go there, for I enlisted 
to fic/hf J not to be sick ! " Now we ask him if he ever thought 
while lying there that he is suffering in the service of his 
country, and a quick flash of the eye, a smile and an em- 
phatic "no," tell us that it is entirely anew thought. Then 
we beg him not to forget that he is, and assure him that it 
requires a much braver soldier to suffer day after day in a 
hospital than on the hardest battle-field, and we leave him 
with a look of heroic endurance on his childish brow. 

Here is a good-faced German, who is moaning with pain 
from an amputation. It is twenty days since the operation, 
but he suffers terribly every few moments from a spasmodic 
contraction of the muscles. And we also find upon convers- 
ing, that the fact of the amputation hurts his feelings in more 
wa^'S than one, and we must needs tell him to bear the pain 
like a good brave soldier, and that it will grow less and less 
each day, and really last but a few days more altogether, and 
that as to being without a limb he will not be tlie only one 
capable of exhibiting such a j^roof of the service rendered 
his country, that it is an honor rather than a disgrace to lose 
limbs while battling for the right ; and now the hero's look of 
determination settles over his features also. But just as we 



HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 23 

turn to leave, he expresses his opinion that two or three more 
such " cookies " as we brought him the other day wouldn't 
hurt him, indeed, 

" Dey was mosht as goot Yot my moder used to make." 

Sunday Eve, April 10. 

Attended church to-day at the Second Presbyterian, or 
" Union Church " as it is called. It is the only one in the 
city, I am told, where one is sure of hearing sentiments of 
loyalty. Rev. Mr. Allen is pastor. He does not fear now, 
under the shadow of Fort Negley, and with so many " blue 
coats " about, to " Lift up his voice like a trumpet, and show 
the peoi:>le their transgressions and the house of Jacob their 
sins." I believe, however, that he was obliged to leave the 
place previous to the entrance of our troops. 

I saw a pomegranate flower for the first time, to-day. It 
is of a dark red color, single, about the size of a plum blos- 
som. It is of the same family I think, though cannot ana- 
lyze it, for want of a botanical work. 

In passing through ward 1 of the hospital last Wedne8- 
day, and asking advice of the chief nurse — wdio, by the by, is 
soon to complete his studies as surgeon — as to what we could 
do for the benefit of the invalids, he said there were two cases 
who would die unless some one could by attention and cheer- 
ful conversation save them. That they had been sick a long 
time, were very low, but the trouble now was nervous debility 
from homesickness and despair of life. Had himself done 
what he could for them, but was worn out with care of the 
ward and loss of sleep. And he added : — 

" The Surgeon has given them up, and I will give them 
into your charge, and if they live it will be your care which 
saves them." 

" Would anything be injurious for them to eat ? " 



24 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

" No, if you can get them to eat anything you Trill do better 
tlian I can." 

Upon inquiring which they were, he pointed them out, 
when I told him that I had spoken to both only a few mo- 
ments before, and that one would scarcely notice me enough 
to tell me his disease, while the other would not answer at 
all, but drew the sheet over his face. 

" Oh, yes," he replied, " they think no one cares for them, 
that they're going to die, and the worst one is in a half stupor 
much of the time. But pass your hand gently over his fore- 
head to arouse him, and then you know how to interest him." 

He then directed the nurse of this one to go with me and 
see that everything was done which I directed. The nurse 
and patient were both from Indiana, and the former going to 
the side of the bed toward which the fiice of the sick man 
was turned, said in a peculiarly pleasant and sympathizing 
tone : — 

'' William, there's a lady come to see you and she' wants to 
make you well if she can." 

Passing my hand over his forehead, as directed, I added as 
cheerily as possible : — 

''Yes, William, I've come to see if I can't do something 
for you ; if I shall write some letters for you, or bring you 
something to eat to make you better." 

He roused up and I knew he was listening, but not wishing 
to excite him too much I then commenced asking of the nurse 
about his company and regiment, and the length of time he 
had been sick in that hospital. But I had scarcely done so, 
when the sick man turned his face down into the pillow, burst 
into tears and grieved and sobbed like a child, fairly shaking 
the bed with the violence of his emotion. The nurse bent 
down to him, and said as if pacifying a sick child : — 

" Don't fret so, William, this lady loves you, and she's going 
to trv to make vou well." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 25 

I knew the tears would do him good, but I spoke low and 
slowly, and the sobs grew less as he listened : — 

" You've been sick a long time, I know, and have grown 
discouraged and have thought you were never going to get 
well, but the Doctor says there is notliing to hinder if you 
will only try. I was once sick myself with a low nervous 
fever, and felt just as you do for a long time. And the phy- 
sician told me at last that I wouldn't live unless I made up 
my mind to try to live. And I did try and worked hard for 
it for a long time else I should never have got well. And 
now if you will do the same and think all the time of what 
you are going to do when you get well, I will come and see 
you as often as I can, and bring you anything you wish to 
eat. Wouldn't you like to have me write for you to ask your 
wife, mother, or sister, to come and take care of you ? 

Just then the nurse tells me he is " single " and I repeat 
the question of his mother and sisters. 

" No," he replied, in a sad, grieved, hollow voice, " they 
u'ouldn't come." 

" Shouldn't I write to his father to tell him how he was." 
" No," he didn't " want any letters written." 

" Could he think of something he could eat." 

He said he could not, but the nurse exclaimed : — " ^Tiy, 
William, don't you remember you said the other day you could 
eat some pickles, if you could get them ?" " Yes, I could eat 
some pickles," said the slow, hollow voice. A little inquiry 
found that it was possible he could eat a cookie also, so it was 
arranged that the nurse should call at the home of the Chris- 
tian Commission, where I was stopping, for the articles. 

I also learned that the sick man had not been bathed since 

having the fever, and his face looked like dried parchment. I 

made a prescription of castile soap and warm water for his 

benefit, to be applied to the whole surface of his body — the 

5 



26 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

application to take place immediately after my departure. 
After the bath, the nurse called and I sent some cookies and 
a small jar of pickles. 

The other patient to whom I was referred, was scarcely less 
interesting, but have not time to note the particulars. I visit- 
ed them again yesterday, and found my directions with regard 
to each had been carried out, and both were better and glad 
this time to see me. William rejoiced in the jar of pickles 
upon his stand, out of which he had gained sufficient appetite 
to " reckon," he " could eat a few dried peaches, if he could 
get them." A small jar of those was prepared and sent to 
him, with a second edition of cookies. 

Tuesday, April 12. 

Have visited Hospital, No. 8, as well as No. 1, several 
times since I have been here, and am priviledged to carry 
some delicacies, and write letters for its inmates. 

I yesterday visited Hospital, No. 1, for the last time pro- 
bably, while those remain in whom I have become specially 
interested. But have made such arrangements that William 
and the Alabamian, who were given to my care, shall have 
whatever is needed. They seem to regret my departure, but 
William is decidedly better. Carried a large bottle of lemon- 
ade, some oranges, and blackberry sirup. 

Found a poor old Norwegian suffering terribly from the ap- 
plication of bromine to the gangrenous wound in his arm- 
He was very thankful for an orange and some lemonade — had 
eaten nothing for two days. His face and bald, venerable 
head were covered with a red silk handkerchief, to hide the 
great tears which were pressed out by the pain ; but his nurse 
said he never gave a word of complaint. 

The German with amputated limb is easier — the blind man 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 27 

hoiDeful of sight, and the little fellow improving, who " enlist- 
ed to fight, and not to be sick." 

"Wliile in ward 3, yesterday, I was beckoned to, from a sick 
bed, whose occupant wished me to come and "rejoice with 
him." Upon going there he assured me with a mysterious 
air, that he " isn't going to tell everybody, but as I was a 
particular friend of his, and he had always thought rigJit smart 
of me, he would tell me something greatly surprising." 

Upon expressing my willingness to be surprised, he confi- 
dently and joyfully assured me that though very few people 
knew it, yet he was " The veritable man ivho killed Jeffi 
Davis, President of the Confederate States I " 

He waited a moment to note the effect upon me of this 
pleasing intelligence, when I quietly told him I didn't know 
before that Jeff. Davis was dead, but that if he was, and he 
was the one who killed him, they ought to give him a dis- 
charge and let him go home, as he has done his share of the 
work. Then he joyfully assured me, that " they have prom- 
ised to do so, and that his papers are to be made out to-mor- 
row." But more serious thoughts came to me then, for I saw 
written upon his countenance, in unmistakable characters, the 
signature of the Death angel, marking his chosen, and though 
I knew not how soon his papers would be made out, was cer- 
tain that before long they would be, and that he would re- 
ceive a full and free discharge from all eartlily toil and battle 
from the Great Medical Director of us all ! 

While passing through the aisles of wounded men, and 
hearing their stories, many of them intensely graphic, I 
seemed to hear something like the following, which, may the 
author whose name I do not know, pardon me for copying : 

" Let me lie do\vn, 
Just here in the shade of this cannon-torn tree, — 
Here, low on the trampled grass, where I may see 



28 HOSPITAL PENCILLING9. 

The surge of the comhat ; and where I may hear 
The glad cry of victory, cheer upou cheer : 
Let me lie down. 

Oh, it was grand ! 
Like the tempest we charged, in the triumph to share ; 
The tempest — its fury and thunder were there ; 
On, on, o'er intrenchments, o'er living and dead, 
With the foe under foot, and our flag overhead, — 

Oh, it was grand I 

Weary and faint, 
Prone on the soldier's couch, ah ! how can I rest 
With this shot-shattered head and sabre-pierced breast 1 
Comrades, at roll-call, when I shall be sought. 
Say I fought till I fell, and fell where I fought, 

Wounded and faint. 

Oh, that last charge ! 
Right through the dread hell-fire of shrapnel and shell,- 
Through without faltering, clear through with a yell. 
Right in their midst, in the tunnoil and gloom. 
Like heroes we dashed at the mandate of doom ! 

Oh, that last charge ! 

It was duty ! 
Some things are worthless, and some others so good. 
That nations who buy them pay only in blood ; 
For Freedom and Union each man owes his part ; 
And here I pay my share, all warm from my heart, 

It is duty ! 

Dying at last ! 
My mother, dear mother, with meek, tearful eye. 
Farewell ! and God bless you for ever and aye ! 
Oh, that I now lay on your pillowing breast, 
To breathe my last sigh on the bosom first prest ! 

Dying at last ! 

I am no saint ! 
But, boys, say a prayer. There's one that begins, — 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 29 

' Our Father ; ' and then says, ' Forgive us our sins : ' 
Don't forget that part ; say that strongly ; and then 
I'll try to repeat it, and you'll say amen 1 
All 1 I'm no saint ! 

Hark ! there's a shout I 
EaisQ me up, comrades I We have conquered, I know ; 
Up, on my feet, with my face to the foe ! 
Ah ! there flies the flag, with its star spangles bright, — 
The promise of Glory, the sjonbol of llight 1 

Well may they shout ! 

I'm mustered out ! 
O God of our fathers ! om* freedom prolong, 
And tread down rebellion, oppression, and wrong ! 

land of earth's hopes ! on thy blood-reddened sod, 

1 die for the Nation, the Union, and God ! 

I'm mustered out ! " 



30 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



CHAPTER III. 

Nashville is a city which is set upon hills. It is also 
founded upon a rock, and the fact that it has not much earth 
upon that rock, is made the pretext for leaving numberless 
deceased horses and mules upon the surface, without even a 
a heathen burial, until they are numbered with the tilings 
that were. 

But it has been comfortingly asserted by the agent of the 
Christian Commission here, Rev. E. P. Smith, that it is 
astonishing how much dead mule one may breathe, and yet 
survive. 

Nashville is also a city of narrow, filthy streets, and in some 
localities, of water, which, like the " offence " of the king of 
Denmark, " smells to Heaven." 

It is moreover a city of mules. Two, four, and six mule 
teams, with a driver astride of one of them, and sometimes 
with the high, comical-looking Tennessean wagons attached — 
not to the driver particularly, but to the mules. These, with 
mulish mules, who draw crowds instead of wagons, animate 
the streets day and night. It is a city of either dust or mud 
— but one street boasts a street-sprinkler. 

The citizens of Nashville who remain, have mostly taken 
the oath of allegiance to protect their property, but it is esti- 
mated that not above one in fifty is, at heart, loyal. The 
ladies (?) sometimes show their contempt of Northern labor- 
ers by making up faces when meeting them upon the streets, 
but there are so many " blue coats " about, they do not think 
it advisable to allow their 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 31 

" Angry passions rise," 
To tear out our eyes ;" 

as they would evidently consider it a great pleasure to accom- 
plish. 

Nashville and its vicinity boasts a few distinguished per- 
sonages beside myself. Mrs. Polk, widow of the Ex-Presi- 
dent, resides a few blocks from this. Gen. Sherman's head- 
quarters are at a lovely retreat, we think, on High Street, 
and Gen. Rouseau's but a few blocks distant, while the Her- 
mitage of Gen. Andrew Jackson is but twelve miles east of 
the city. This has many visitors, but who seldom venture 
now without a guard. Since our stay here, a party of four 
ladies from Hospital, No. 19, with as many gentlemen, and a 
guard of thirteen, visited the Hermitage, who learned next 
day that a party of guerillas, 100 in number, came there an 
hour after they had left, and followed them. At first, as they 
informed us, they made it a subject for pleasant jesting, but 
after farther consideration, for that of serious thought, as they 
came rather too near being candidates for " Libby," or a 
worse fate. 

A nephew, who is also an adopted son of the old General, 
has charge of the place ; he has two sons in the rebel ser- 
vice. The property is confiscated to the Government, but the 
family, out of respect to the memory of the stern old patriots 
are permitted to remain. The visitors may see here the 
quaint and cumbrous family carriage in which the General 
used to journey, together with a buggy, made from the tim- 
bers of the old ship Ironsides. 

The family, especially the female portion of it, being of 
secession principles, keep themselves secluded from the gaze 
of northern mudsills. But the mudsills, presuming upon the 
cordial reception which they believe would be extended by 
the General himself, usually make themselves sufficiently at 



32 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

home to wander at their own sweet will through the grounds, 
and partake of a lunch on the shaded piazza. 

It is a fine old mansion, ajDproached by a circular avenue, 
which is shaded by grand old trees. And notwithstanding 
that the General has adopted grandsons in the rebel service, 
and his family are secessionists, yet it requires but little faith 
to believe that the stern old hero is not unmindful of the pre- 
sent gigantic struggle, neither a great flight of the imagina- 
tion when the wind is moaning and stirring the lofty branches 
of the grand old trees, to fancy that his voice, in suppressed 
and now reverent accents, yet emphatically exclaims : — 

" By the Eternal^ the Union must^ and shall he preserved /" 

The city contains many elegant private residences, and 
splendid public buildings. 

Among the latter is the State Asylum for the Insane, 
which has four hundred and fifty acres attached, and had an 
expenditure of $48,000 per annum. Another is the Institu- 
tion for the Blind, the expenses of which for the year 1850, 
were nearly $8,000. The Tennessean Penitentiary is also a 
superior structure. In September 30, 1850, the number of 
inmates was three hundred and seventy-eight, and of this 
number three hundred and sixty-six, were white men, with 
only eight black men, three white women with only one black 
woman. 

The Medical College is a fine building and contains a valu- 
able museum. The University is an imposing edifice of gray 
marble, while the Masonic Hall, the Seminary and graded 
school buildings are spacious and beautiful structures. The 
first in imjDortance, among the public buildings of Nashville, 
and which is second to none in the United States in point of 
solidity and durability, is the CaiDitol. Tliis is a magnificent 
edifice, situated on an eminence one hundred and seventy -five 
feet above the river, and constructed inside and out, of a 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINOS. 33 

beautiful variety of fossilliferous limestone or Tennessee mar- 
ble. At each end, it has an Ionic portico of eight columns, 
and each of the sides, a portico of six. A tower rises from 
the centre of the roof to the hight of two hundred and six 
feet from the ground. This has a quadrangular base sur- 
mounted by a circular cell, with eight fluted Corinthian 
columns, designed from the celebrated choragic monument of 
Lysicrates, at Athens. 

Among the jDrivate residences we have seen, is a beautiful 
mansion, still unfinished, which, at the time of his death, was 
being built for the rebel Gen. ZollicofFer. A more unpre- 
tending one perhaps, is that of the widow of ex-President Polk, 
the grounds surrounding which contain his tomb — a plain, sim- 
ple, temple-like fabric, of light brown marble. 

That beautiful baronial domain known as the Achlen estate 
is situate about two miles out of town. For attractions it has 
extensive grounds, with great variety and profusion of shrub- 
bery, among which flash out here and there, life-like statues 
of men and animals, and miniature monuments and temples. 
A fountain jets its diamond drops, w^hile an artificial pond is 
the home of the tiny silver and gold fish. Beside the noble 
family mansion is another building nearly as spacious, which 
is used as a place of amusement. A well-filled conservatory 
is another beautiful feature, while an observatory, which 
ci'owns an imposing brick tower, gives a view of the scenery 
for miles around. 

This estate with large plantations, in Louisiania, were ac- 
cumulated by the owner, while in the business of slave-driv- 
ing and negro trading. His name was Franklin. After his 
death his youthful widow married a gay leader in the fash- 
onable world, known in the southern society of Memphis 
and New Orleans, as Joe Achlen. Under his direction the 
estate was imjproved and beautified at a cost of $1,000,000. 



34 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

At the commencement of this war, it was had in contem- 
plation by the Confederate officials, to purchase the estate and 
present it to his Excellency, Jeff. Davis ; but they will probably 
defer making that munificent gift, until the Federal army is 
at a safer distance. 

An intelligent chattel, who has been on the place twenty 
years, informs us that Achlen was a kind master. . That when 
he visited his plantations in Louisiana, the negroes would 
welcome him at the wharf, and if it was the least muddy, 
would take him upon their shoulders and carry him to the 
house. But despite this fact, the negroes have somehow got 
the impression that freedom is preferable to slavery. So 
strongly are they impressed with the desii^e of owning them- 
selves, that out of 900 who were on the estate and planta- 
tions at the commencement of the war, but five remain at the 
former place, and these with wages of $15.00 per month, 
while about the same number are at each of the plantations, 
these kept also by wages. 

The death of Achlen occurred last fall ; his widow is much 
of the time in New Orleans, but the property is neatly kept 
by what was formerly a part of itself. 

One of those little incidents, by the by, which proves 
that truth is stranger than fiction, occurred to this negro who 
testified to the kindness of his master. When he was pur- 
chased for the estate he was separated from his wife, who was 
sold south. Neither knew the locality of the other, and nine- 
teen long years passed by, when this war, which has made 
such an upheaval in the strata of American society, loosened 
the chains of the bondwoman, and true to the instincts of her 
nature, she started toward the north pole, to find freedom and 
her husband. 

He says it was a joyful time when they met and recognized 
each other in the streets of Nashville ; but we each have the 



HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 35 

privilege of entertaining our own ideas as to whether the race 
is capable of constancy and affection. 

Even the Capitol has its mounted cannon, to protect it 
against the citizens of Nashville. During our stay in the city, 
we have had the pleasure of listening to a lecture by two 
Rev. Drs. of New York, and Brooklyn, in the Hall of Repre- 
sentatives, and hj moonlight. They were to speak on the sub- 
ject of emancipation and reconstruction, by invitation of Gov. 
Andrew Johnson, and Comptroller Fowler. 

That afternoon, they had returned from the front, toilwom 
and weary, where they had witnessed the battle and minister- 
ed to the wounded of Resaca and Dalton. Upon proceeding 
to the Capitol, the moon was bathing all things without in her 
silver radiance, while within hid dark shadows, in strano-e con- 
trast to an occasional silver shaft, through openings in the 
heavy damask curtains. 

Queries revealed the fact that the Governor, Comptroller, 
and the man having charge of the gas fixtures, had gone to 
attend a railroad celebration, not having received word that 
the gentlemen had accepted the invitation to speak at that 
time and place. 

Quite a number of gentlemen gathered in front of the 
speaker's desk, with some six ladies — the latter provided with 
seats ; and after some consultation we found ourselves listen- 
ing to interesting recitals of how " war's grim visage " had 
appeared to Rev. Drs. Thompson and Buddington of New- 
York and Brooklyn. 

And we could but think as we sat there in the moonlight, 
with most of the audience standing, what different audiences 
they had swayed at home, and how mucli depends upon time, 
place and circumstance in the life of a public speaker, and 
were glad to see that they could meet adverse circumstances 
with becoming serenity and humility. The novelty connected 



36 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

vnt.li the scene, time and place, made it an evening long to be 
remembered. 

The Seminary building was used as hospital, then as bar- 
racks and since as soldiers' home. 

The faculty of this institution, in their last advertisement 
of its merits, previous to the arrival of the Union army, 
assured their patrons that they would — 

" So educate their daughters, as to fit them to become 
v.'ives of the Southern Chivalry and to hate the detestable 
Yankees ! " 

The Medical College on Broad Street, is now a home and 
hospital for the refugees ; and the filth, destitution, misery 
and ignorance which exist among that class of poor whites 
who have fled from starvation in Georgia, North and South 
Carolina, Alabama or East Tennessee, must be witnessed to 
be realized. We no longer wondered that the neat, industri- 
ous and comparatively well-informed negro servants and free 
colored j^eoj^le of Nashville look upon them with the contempt 
so well expressed by the words, " jooor uihite trash ! " 

Brought up to think labor a disgrace, they will sooner sit 
down in ignorance, poverty, and the filth which nourishes 
vermin and loatlisome diseases, than disgrace themselves by 
work. Unaccustomed to habits of neatness and industry they 
are singularly careless of each other's comfort, and neglectful 
of their own sick. 

The same week of our reaching this city, a family of re- 
fugees, nine in number, the parents and seven children, all 
died, and of no particular disease. The scenes which they 
had passed through, with the lo^s of home and each other, 
with the native lack of energy which led them to succumb to 
circumstances, rather than battle to overcome them, seemed 
the only causes. 

We will sketch a few of the scenes we saw in this home of 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 37 

the refugees, prefacing, however, that some of the worst 
features we do not propose giving, either to offend ears polite 
or our own sense of propriety. 

In company with the matron we enter the spacious building 
between two majestic statues, which stand like sentinels to 
guard the entrance, less efficient, however, than that " blue 
coat " who perambulates the walk with rifle and bayonet. 

In the first room a gaunt and haggard face meets ours, with 
piercing eyes, from beneath an old slouched hood, and from a 
miserable bunk, whose possessor, within the next twenty-four 
hours, ceases to battle with consumption, and finds that " rest 
for the weary." She is now so restless she must be turned 
every few minutes, and stranger hands attend to her wishes. 

" We were starved out," she says. " The Rebs tuk every- 
thing what they didn't destroy ; and burnt the house." 

" ' We,' who came with you ? " 

" Me two step-daughters. But they haven't been here 
these three days. I reckon they're tired o' takin keer o' me. 
It's mighty hard though to raise up girls to neglect ye when 
ye're on a death-bed." 

What can we say to comfort her. Our heart grows faint 
when we think how incapable we are to minister to this 
one. Bereft of home, penniless, forsaken even by relatives, 
and in such agonizing unrest. Yes, but a happy thought 
comes now, if homeless, can she not better appreciate the 
worth of that " house not made with hands, eternal in . the 
heavens " — if penniless, realize the enduring riches of the better 
land — husbandless and friendless, know better the worth of 
that " Friend above all others " — restless, the value of that 
" rest for the weary ? " We tell her of all these, and she pro- 
fesses to gain new strength from our words to wait on the 
chariot wheels which so long delay their coming. 

On another bunk is a wretched woman, who is drowning 



38 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

sorrow as usual in the stupor induced by opium. We have 
now no message for her. 

See that little chubby child, of perhaps three years, whose 
little flaxen head, has made a pillow of the hard hearthstone, 
and is soundly sleej^ing. That is a little waif — nobody owns 
it. ■ It has neither father, mother, brother, sister or other rel- 
ative in the wide world, that any one knows about. Pity, but 
some one bereaved by this war would suffer this little one to 
creep into the heart and home and grow to fill the place made 
desolate ! 

Here is a tall, well-formed girl, of perhaps twenty, with a 
j^erfect wealth of soft, glossy, auburn hair^ of which any city 
belle would be proud, but it is in wild disorder and just falling 
from her comb. Ask her, if you choose, what is that eruption 
with which her hands are covered, and which appears upon 
her face, and she will as unblushingly and drawlingly tell you, 
as though your query were a passing remark upon the 
weather. 

Here are three other girls sitting upon a rough board 
bench — the eldest, a bright girl of about twelve, is making an 
apron for her sister. Do you wish to hear her story ? — if so , 
listen. 

" Me an' me mother an' me two sisters come from East 
Tennessee. The Union army come to our place first, an' they 
burned an' destroyed a great deal what they didn't take away, 
and after they left the Rebs come an' did the same, an' so 
between 'em both they left us all starvin' through the country. 
Then the Unioners come agin, and we followed 'em, an' they 
sent us here. Wliile we were on the boat it was powerfiil 
open an' cold-like, an' me mother tuk cold. An* she looked 
like she was struck with death from the very first, an' the 
doctor told me I might just as well make up my mind to it, 
first as last, an' make her as comfortable as T could. So I tuk 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 39 

keer o' her, day an' night for two weeks, an' brought her every 
thing she wanted, oranges an' sich like, till she died. I 
thought when my father an' other relatives died that I tuk it 
powerful hard, but 'twas nothin' like losin' me mother. While 
she was sick me two little sisters had been livin' with a cousin 
o' mine ; 1 ut I liearn tell he was treaten 'em mighty bad, so I 
wrote a note to the captin an' told him I wanted to come here 
and see to the keer on 'em myself. An' he said I might, so I 
corned yesterday." 

We leave this room for another. There a sick boy of four- 
teen is lying on a bed of rags, who is recovering from mea- 
sles. Hear his history. 

" We lived in East Tennessee, an' my father nigh onto the 
first o'the war, wanted to get to Kaintucky and jine the Yan- 
kees, but the Rebels tuk him off to Vicksburg and made him 
jine them. Then when the place surrendered to the Yanks, 
about half on 'em jined them, an' my father 'mong the rest, — 
jest what he'd been wantin' to, for a long time. 

But they burned and starved us all out to home, an' we left 
thar an' come har whar we could git suthin' to eat. Me an' 
me mother an' me little brother what's only six year old 
come. But me mother was tuk sick an' died here three week 
ago. I hearn right after, that my father's regiment was or- 
dered some whar else, an' T don't know whar he is. She 
knew what company an' regiment me father was in, but I 
was sick when he sent word about it, an' he don't know whar 
we air. Mother nor he could'nt write, so we've no letters nor 
nothin' to tell. May be he's dead, an' we'll never hear of it, 
or if he lives he'll never find us." 

It is a sad case, but we comfort him with the hope of what 
perseverance and a little knowledge of writing may do for him, 
and pass to another. 

Here is a young man, dressed and lying upon the outside 



40 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

of his bed, whose foot and ancle are encased in a wooden box. 
His temjDerament partakes largely of the nervous sanguine. 
He has an open, frank, intelligent countenance, speaks rapid- 
ly, and with a short, joyous, electrical laugh. 

" I was raised in North Carolina," he says. " I was'nt a Un- 
ion man at the first — nor a Confederate either, well about half 
an' half, I reckon. But we'se all obliged either to run away 
from our families an' leave 'em to starve, or hide with 'em in 
the mountains or jine the army. So I concluded to jine ; an' 
I've been in Braggs army mor'n two years." 

" Why did you leave it," we asked. 

" Well the fact was I begun to think sure we was in the 
wrong, else we'd fared better'n we did. For I've allays al- 
lowed the Lord would prosper the right ride. So when I 
found that I had to march or fight hard all day, an' have 
nothin' more to eat for the hull twenty-four hours, than a 
piece o'bread the bigness o'my hand, an' a piece o'meat only 
as large as my two fingers — an' have been so hungry for 
weeks that I could nearly eat my own fingers off, I concluded 
to desert and try the other side. 

My brother-in-law left Lee's army about the same time I 
left Bragg's. I was to meet him and my wife, at his house in 
Athens ; but when I was coming on the train from Charles- 
ton, I saw another train coming that ran into ours, and I 
jumped off and broke my limb. So I could'nt go there, and 
they brought me on to this ^^lace. 

I've enough to eat, and have good care, and should feel 
right well contented till I get well, if I only could know 
where my wife Martha is. I've sent two letters, but I 
can't hear a word. I've got a letter written to my brother-in- 
law about her now — its lying there." 

And he points to a rough board, one end of which rests 
upon his bunk, and the other upon an empty one near, and 
which serves him in place of a stand. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 41 

" Its been waitin' a long tkne " he adds, for I hav'nt a post- 
age stamp on it. We were just married when the war begun, 
an' we had a fine start for young folks, but I let my gold and 
silver go in gittin' settled, and the Confederate money's worth 
nothin' here, so I hav'nt a penny to use." 

The letter was put in the office, and he was supplied with 
stationary and stamps during our stay. He wished more 
added to his letter and we wrote what he dictated. 

" It's the first time I ever had anybody write for me," he 
said proudly. " I generally do my own writing — an' readin' 
too," and he glanced toward some books he had. 

" An' you may be sure," he added as we left him, " if I get 
well, an' my wife Martha is lost, but I'll spend the rest o' my 
life huntin' but Til find her r 



8 



42 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



CHAPTER IV. 

Wednesday, April 13. 

Entered upon my duties to-day, as lady nurse of two divi- 
sions of tents at Small Pox Hospital. 

Not obliged to come here, but have accepted this most dis- 
agreeable place, as there are so few who are willing to take 
it. Expect to be quite confined to the place ; and the hope 
of doing good in a position which otherwise would be vacant, 
is the inducement. 

The Hospital is about a mile out from the city, and near 
Camp Cumberland. It consists of tents in the rear of a fine, 
large mansion which was deserted by its rebel owner. In 
these tents ai-e about 800 i^atients — including convalescents, 
contrabands, soldiers and citizens. Everything seems done 
for their comfort which can well be, with the scarcity of help. 
Cleanliness and ventilation are duly attended to ; but the un- 
sightly, swollen faces, blotched with eruption, or presenting 
an entire scab, and the offensive odor, require some strength 
of nerve in those who minister to their necessities. There 
are six physicians each in charge of a division. Those in 
which I am assigned to duty are in charge of Drs. P. & C. 
There is but one lady nurse here, aside from the wives of three 
surgeons, — each of whom, however, has her special duty. 

Mrs. B., the nurse, went with me through the tents, intro- 
duced me to the patients and explained my duties. 

April 14. 

A woman and boy died in my division last night. The 
woman left a little child, eighteen months old, which is incon- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 43 

solable. The father, a soldier, wishes to take the child 
away, but was not permitted to do so or to see it, for fear of 
contagion. It is to be kept to see if the child has tlie dis- 
ease. [It did not, and had no scar from vaccination, such 
queer freaks the disease takes.] 

The boy, an Alabamian, told me yesterday he was getting 
better. He had been sent here with measles, recovered from 
those, but the small pox did not break out. He died easy, 
and said he was "going to Heaven.'- I write his people to- 
day, via Fortress Monroe. His name was G. B. Alien, of 
Rockford, Cousa Co., Alabama. One man died yesterday, to 
whose people I have written to-day. Another died to-day. 
The mortality here is great. Said one patient to me ; 

" People die mighty easy here." 

I asked in what way, he meant. 

" Oh," he replied, " they'll be mighty peart-like, one min- 
ute, an' the next you know, they're dead ! " 

This is true, and I find so many who were sent here with 
measles, recover from those, and die of small pox. Sixty 
cases of ineasles were sent to this hospital in one month, as I 
learn from the lips of the surgeon in charge himself. Dr. F. 
These are sent by the several physicians of Nashville. The 
fact itself speaks volumes, but to stay here and see its effects 
day after day in the poor victims of such ignorance, impress 
one with a sense of the importance by the medical faculty of 
distinguishing between the two diseases. 

Saturday, April 16. 

I find many very interesting cases here, some of which 
shall wait to see the finale before making note of them. 

What seems to me a strange feature, as I become more 
familiar with death-bed scenes, is the fact that so few know 
tliey are dying or are even dangerous, but persist with the last 



44 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

breath, or until the last struggle, that they are " getting bet- 
ter." 

One poor young boy from Georgia, by the name of Ash- 
man, who must die, although he eats nothing except a few 
canned peaches and milk, which I carry to him, will tell me 
sometimes when I go into the tent, that he is expecting a can 
of peaches every minute from home, and at another that he 
has just heard that his mother is in town, and that if he re- 
ally knew she was, he would'nt lie there a great while before 
he'd be hunting her up. At another, he asked my name and 
State, and whether I took him to be a man or only a little 
boy. He is a slight little fellow of about 18, but in answer 
to the question I told him that of course I considered one re- 
ally a man who could be a soldier and fight for our country, 
and who could be so good and patient while sick. To-day he 
called me to him, as soon as I entered the tent, and asked if I 
" could'ut discharge him to-day — that the doctor had told him 
to ask me about it, and that whatever I said he might do." 

I told him that I would discharge him just as soon as that 
limb of his got well, and reminded him that he would want to 
be able to walk to the cars before starting home. He has a 
bad abscess on his limb, from which the doctor says the flesh is 
sloughing, and he does not expect him to live through to- 
night. And yet the boy wants me to " write to his mother 
in Atlanta, Georgia, and tell her to write to his aunt Shady 
in Butler," that he " has been sicJc, but is getting better." 

One man — G. W. Crane, of 3d Missouri Infantry, and who 
is called Major, was given up the day before yesterday by 
Dr. E. 

He complained greatly of his throat, and I have since kept 
wet bandages on it, greatly to his relief. I asked permission 
of the doctor to do this, and advice as to telling him of his dan- 
ger. He thought it would be well to do so, as he might wish 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 45 

to make some business arrangements. It was a most unwel- 
come task, but I believed it best ; and first, asked him if he 
would like a letter written to his people. 

" Oh no," was the reply, I shall be able to write myself in 
a few days." 

" Perhaps you may," I said, " but we are all in more or less 
danger when sick." Adding as gently as possible, " How 
would you feel about it, if you thought you were not going to 
get well ?" 

The queries seemed cruel, but I knew he had loaned a gold 
watch and money to a man, and thought he might wish to at- 
tend to that and other matters. But he said decidedly " I do 
not thmk anything about it, as I have no doubt I shall soon 
be up again. And Madam," he added politely, "it would 
afford me great pleasure to talk with you, if I were feeling 
well and in good spirits you know, but my throat is so bad it 
hurts me to talk." 

After this rebuff, and being really undecided as to duty in 
the matter, I left him. Yesterday I found him living, but evi- 
dently near his end, and I felt that I ought to let him know 
his condition. First, I asked as before about writing letters, 
when he said with great difficulty that he did'nt wish to talk 
with me as it distressed him to speak. I then said I would 
only ask him one or two questions and then leave him, and I 
said : — 

If the doctor and all thought you could not live, would you 
wish to know it ?" 

He said " No," decidedly. 

" Well then," I said " I will not trouble you any more, but 
if at any time you wish letters written, you can send me word 
by the nurse." 

I left him and he died in about an hour. He called for 
water, but as the nurse raised him to give it, he exclaimed " I 



46 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

am dying," and then gave some incoherent charge, in which 
the nurse distinguished the words; "the lady" and "a let- 
ter." 

His request has been complied with. 

Mrs. F. was relating a similar incident to me the other 
evening. Dr. F. was at the depot in Nashville, when an old 
acquaintance was found there, who had been ill, had received 
a sick furlough, and was to take the cars for home. He was 
so feeble, he was persuaded to go to a hospital to remain over 
night, and take the train next day. In the course of the eve- 
ning there was a change, and the physician knew he could 
live but a short time. He knew also that w^ere he aware of 
the truth he would wish to send some message to his family. 
The man was speaking of his home and laying plans for the 
future, when the physician asked if he should'nt write a letter 
for him to his wife. 

" Why no," he replied, " what need of that when I'm to 
start home tomorrow ?" 

" You may not go then," said the doctor. 

" Oh, yes," I must start tomorrow," was the reply. 

The surgeon did not answer immediately, but was sadly 
thinking how to do so, and regarding the countenance of his 
friend, when the patient, who was about talking more of his 
plans, suddenly paused upon observing the expression of the 
surgeon's face, and earnestly asked : — 

" Doctor — you do not think me very sick, do you ?" 

" I do," was the sad reply. 

" But doctor you don't think me dangerous ?" 

" I think you a very sick man." 

He lay silent for a few moments while thought was busy, 
and then asked : — 

" Am I about to ' cross the lines,' doctor f 

Tears, and the simple " I think you are," was the answer. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 47 

Then was business arranged, messages given, and thej were 
alone again. Then he said : 

" Why, doctor is this all that death is ? It's nothing at all to 
die." 

And thus he " crossed the lines." 

Sunday, April 17. 

Attended service in dining hall. Chaplain S. officiated, and 
spoke very well. At the close I gave him the message sent 
by two sick men in my division to visit them. He promised 
to do so, but though he had to pass the tents where the men 
were, in going to his room, he did not do so. Am sorry, as 
the men may not live. He may have forgotten it, and if the 
men are living tomorrow, will remind him of the same. But 
I think it strange that he has not visited any one in my two 
divisions, when so many have died. 

Three more have died since yesterday forenoon. Geo. W. 
Boughton, — Co., 2nd Batt. Vet. Res., Nelson Correll, of Co. 
B. 13 Tenn. Cav. and young Ashman mentioned in previous 
date. 

One man, who is nearly given up by physicians, says he has 
been through the Mexican war. He is sergeant and will 
swear one minute and pray the next. He declares he always 
has liad his own way, and loill have it here. He is delirious 
part of the time, but like some others of that class thinks 
everybody crazy but himself. If it is his sovereign will and 
pleasure to get out of bed and walk about en dishabille, or 
take a trip over the mountains on some secret service, for 
which he fancies there is a war steed just outside, 

" All saddled, all bridled all fit for a fight," 
he thinks the nurse is slightly out of his head to show so 
little respect to a superior officer as to threaten to tie him down 
to his bed. It has been necessary with him and others. He, 



48 HOSPITAL PENCILLING8. 

and another man who lay at a little distance, were both delir- 
ious last night, and had an argument with each other — or 
what they supposed was one, though it seemed difficult for the 
nurses to vouch for its connectedness. But it is certain that 
a considerable number of oaths were used, and each assured 
the other, in plain terms, that he didn't keep truth on his side. 
The sergeant, after much gesticulation and violent language, 
threatened the other with a personal chastisement if he wasn't 
more reasonable in his statements. He was about stepping out 
of bed to put the threat into practice, when the nurse produ- 
ced a rope to tie him with, if he wasn't quiet ; upon which he 
concluded to defer the matter. When he wishes water, he 
will sing out in a stentorian voice, for the 
" Corporal of the Third Relief !" 

Monday April 18. 

One man, this morning, while I was taking the name of one 
who had just died, to write to his friends, told me that people 
throughout the whole land, will bless me for what I am doing. 
Wonder if I am doing good. I cannot help knowing that 
some will hear from their friends who die here, who other- 
wise would not. 

There is a singular case in Dr. C's. division. Upon enter- 
ing the tent the first day after my arrival, with reading mat- 
ter for distribution, I inquired of a young German if he could 
read that language presenting a paper. He said " no," I then 
offered one in the English language, asking the same question 
He said he could read, but didn't wish the paper. The next 
day I did not notice him particularly, as he was sitting up, but 
the day following found him lying in bed, and that he would 
not answer when spoken to. While feeding another man 
with canned peaches who lay near, the nurse said : — 

" You cannot make that man speak to you." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 49 

" What is the trouble," was asked. 

" Well, it is this," was the reply. He says that day before 
yesterday, when you asked him if he could read English, he 
told you a falsehood, for he cannot read at all. He has been 
dreadfully distressed about it ever since, and says the Lord 
has appeared to him and told him not to eat a mouthful, nor 
speak to any one except once a day, to the surgeon and my- 
self, until he has forgiven him for the sin. He will speak to 
no one, not even the other nurse who has charge a part of the 
time, and says, he will not, until he gets religion." 

" What is his name ?" 

" Oswald." 

" Wouldn't you like some of these nice canned peaches, Os- 
wald ? " w^e ask, dipping up some of the delicious fruit. He 
looked at us smiling but with tightly pressed ]ips. 

" These are very nice — they'll do you good, and we want 
to make you well as soon as possible. Won't you have some, 
Oswald ?" 
* No answer. 

" Not going to speak to me ? Why only think — here's a 
man trying to get religion and be a Christian and he won't 
speak to somebody else who is a Christian. I've professed to 
be one these many years, and you won't speak to me ! Now, 
if you could only read the Bible, you'd know that it says 
" speak often to each other. You cannot read, can you ? " 

He shakes his head. 

" Well, it's a pity, but don't you see that if the Bible says 
so, you ought to speak, and don't you see that Christian min- 
isters have to talk to sinners to teach them to be good — and 
if ministers talk to sinners, shouldn't sinners talk to Chris- 
tians — don't you see that ? " 

" Yes, yes, I do," he ejaculated, seizing my hand — " I will 
talk to you for you're a Christian." 
9 



50 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

We gave him some peaches and left him. 

The next morning, however, nothing could induce him to 
speak. He has continued thus ever since — five days and has 
eaten nothing. He received a forcible cold bath this morning 
with the promise of its repetition if he does not speak and 
eat. [This was continued till he both spoke and ate. But 
he was believed to be a hopeless monomaniac, and after some 
weeks received his discharge and was sent home.] It is pos- 
sible that this is mere pretence and his object the same as 
that of another soldier of whom we have heard, at Jefferson 
Barracks, Mo. This one used to go daily with a bent pin 
for a fishhook, and sit for hours upon a stump on the hillside, 
waiting quietly for the bite which never came, at least in the 
estimation of others. He was the butt of ridicule for the 
whole camp, who, while they pitied him on account of his sup- 
posed insanity, could but laugh at his perseverance mjishing 
upon dry ground. He received his discharge, when flourish- 
ing it in their faces, he informed them that it was " now' his 
turn to laugh, as he had received what he had all along been 
fishing for — viz: a discharged 

• 
Tuesday, April 19. 

Another change. I am to leave this hospital to-day, as a 
Miss P. from Chicago, who had been engaged for the place, 
and expected some three weeks since, has just arrived. I 
have become really attached to the patients, and on some ac- 
counts dislike leaving. It seems that Miss O. and myself 
were intended for Chattanooga or other place farther toward 
the front, but in consequence of waiting for Miss O., the 
place was filled before our arrival. I fear there may not 
be any other place open for me. And when I can go in 
so many hospitals and see sick men suffering from neglect or 
want of moi'e help, I shall think it very hard if I cannot do 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 51 

something. Two other ladies have been sent back, with the 
assurance that there was no oj)ening for them. 

I have just been through the tents and introduced Miss P. 
to the patients. Many are feeling sad, or appearing and ex- 
pressing themselves so, that I am going to leave. Received 
many warm expressions of gratitude from many for the very 
little I have been able to do for them. 

In going into one tent, found one of the nurses just recov- 
ering from an attack of lockjaw. When able to speak, he 
told me that it had " followed him, like an evil shadow, for 
ten long years." 

Then followed an interesting recital of the cause, which was 
a gun-shot wound in the spine from the hand of a brother in 
an encounter with a grizzly bear in the rocky mountain. He 
himself ran away from home at the age of twelve, to follow 
his brother in a hunting expedition. After the brother had 
fired, the bear sprang toward him, and with one stroke of his 
paw laid the flesh from the bone from the forehead down one 
side of his face and arm to the elbow. The ball had only 
grazed the spine of the narrator, and seeing his brother in 
such danger, who called to him to fire, he did so and fortu- 
nately the shot was fatal to bruin. Their horses bore them 
to the nearest settlement, and the brother's life was saved. 

This nurse I had always observed as quiet, efficient, faith- 
ful, and a favorite with the patients. 

The sergeant mentioned last under date of the 17th, over- 
hearing me say that I was to leave to-day, and that I did not 
know where I should be stationed, advised me " not to be go- 
ing round from one place to another, but to join a regiment, as 
I would be in less danger from guerillas." 

Northern people, who think that all Government employees 
fatten on commissary stores, ought to' see the table which is 
set at this hospital. It is exceedingly plain ; and it some- 



52 HOSPITAL rENCILLIXGS. 

times requires more moral courage than all are very long, 
capable of exercising, to inhale the odor of oyster soup, 
custards, pies, and sweatmeats, which latter are sometimes 
prepared for those who are convalescing, but very rare- 
ly bless the palate of those who prepare them, or daily to 
deal out the jellys, blanc-mange and canned fruit without ever 
tasting. An instance of this kind has occurred here which 
not only increased our respect for the surgeon, but amused us 
not a little. 

The usual rations, such as tough army beef, baker's bread 
and stale butter, with muddy coffee, served in brown mugs, 
has been the diet for so long a time that it has ceased to be 
very palatable. To the steward perhaps this was particularly 
so, and probably thinking that we had been sufficiently indus- 
trious and self-denying to merit a treat, and as five boxes of 
canned oysters had just arrived as a present from the Chris- 
tian commission, he ordered enough cooked for dinner, in ad- 
dition to the usual fare, to give all, from the surgeon in charge 
to the servants, a taste. 

" It will take but five cans for us," said the wife of the sur- 
geon-in-charge to me, " while for the patients a meal, it will 
require twenty cans." 

So she, with the wife of doctor R., who jointly had charge 
of the diet kitchen, prepared the oysters, and at the usual 
hour, tliose, with the liungr}^ expectants, appeared in the din- 
ing-room. The soup had been partially served up but no one 
had time to taste it, when the surgeon-in-charge walked in 
and took a seat at the table. Probably the peculiar odour of 
the oysters and the ominous hush at the table warned him to 
be on the alert for something unusual. 

Unusually demure, certainly, was the manner of the one 
table waiter, as he proceeded to the table, with another dish 
of the forbidden food. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 53 

The surgeon might well have exclaimed with Caesar, " Veni 
vidi, vici," for smoothing an instant smile from his features, 
with a forced sternness he demanded : — 

" What have you there ?" 

" Oysters," meekly responded the servant, who as well as 
the rest of us, more than suspected what might be coming. 

" Take every one of those from the table," said he, " and 
don't let me see anything of this kind again. There are too 
many sick boys up at the tents, needing these things, for us 
to eat them !" 

The oysters tvere taken from the table we are quite posi- 
tive, and furthermore, that that was the last we ever saw of 
them. 

It was, however, respectfully suggested to the surgeon by 
some one that he make it convenient to dine out at as early a 
day as possible, and acquaint his wife and the steward with 
the fact some time previous. He didn't promise, however, 
and the oysters have never since appeared to us. 



10 



54 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



CHAPTER V. 

Wednesday, April 20. 

Back in town again. I've done something but havn't the 
least idea what, to displease somebody and havn't the least 
idea who. Perhaps some one of my friends here, will, after a 
day or so find the important secret too burdensome to keep 
alone, and will share it with me. 

Just think what it is, Hallicarnassus, to go abroad and see 
the world — and feel it too, for that matter. 

But in order to think as little as possible of that terrible 
crime of which I've been guilty, before finding out what it is, 
am going to hunt up enough work to keep my head and 
hands busy in the hospitals about town. 

Glad to meet my travelling companion, Miss O., again. 
She has remained at this home of the Christian Commission, 
engaged in the preparation of delicacies, which are taken out 
to hospitals, or barracks, as needed. 

This building, to which we came upon our arrival, is a spa- 
cious three story brick, at No. 14 Spruce Street. It was de- 
serted by a rebel banker just before our forces entered Nash- 
ville, who took nothing south, except his gold and silver. A 
man from New York, whose conscience permitted him to take 
the oath of allegiance, removed and stored up against the re- 
turn of his rebel friend, the silver and glass service, curtains, 
works of art, &c., but left much fine furniture, such as massive 
sofa bedsteads, marble-topped stands, tables, bureaux, a well- 
filled book-case, writing table and piano. 

In Secretary Stanton's own handwriting, we saw permission 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 55 

given to occupy this building till the close of the war, to INIrs. 
H., of the Philadelphia Ladies' Aid Society, " together with 
other ladies who might be associated with her, in any benevo- 
lent enterprise having for its object the relief of invalid 
Union soldiers." 

She is confident he meant benevolent gentlemen, also, so 
one half of the house is given up to the Rev. E. P. Smith 
and family, who make a home for the delegates of the Chris- 
tian Commission. 

Thus are many of the private as well as public buildings 
reduced from their lofty position of serving southern chivalry^ 
to the vile misuse of northern mudsills. " Oh, Babylon how 
art thou fallen !" must be the lamentation of the Nashvillians, 
as they see the desecration of their beautiful edifices by north- 
ern vandals. 

" Oh ! the citizens here would tear us to pieces very quick," 
said Mrs. Smith, the eve of our arrival, " were it not for the 
' blue coats ' about. Our dependence is in those and the 
guns of Fort Negley." 

Evening, 

Visited the Refugee Home again, this P. M. Saw some 
of those mentioned in a previous date. As I entered one 
room, a woman was bustling about in a great passion, and 
picking up a few personal rags, while ordering her son to get 
up and they would find a place to stay where she shouldn't be 
" set to do niggar's work ! " 

She was a healthy, strong woman, and had been repeatedly 
requested to make her own and son's bed, and assist in sweep- 
ing or cooking for the numerous inmates. Indeed, I think 
she had received a gentle hint that it might be as well to see 
that her son and herself had clean linen as often as once in 
two or three weeks, and that the use of a comb occasionally 



56 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

would not detract from their personal appearance. But 
she had her own peculiar ideas, obtained from living under 
the domination of a peculiar institution, and didn't fancy be- 
ing dictated to in the delicate matter of her per so7i€Ue. 

Ujwn entering what is called the lecture-room we saw sev- 
eral families and parts of families, which had within two hours 
arrived on the trains from Alabama or Georgia. 

I found that some of these snuff-dipping, clay-colored, 
greasy and uncombed ladies " from Alabam and Gorgee," are 
as expert marksmen as any of our northern exquisites, as 
they deposit the " terbaker " juice most beautifully into and 
around any knot-hole or crack in the floor, and while they 
are at the distance of several feet. Its wonderful how they 
do it — am afraid I should never be able to learn. 

We approach one woman who is standing by a rough board 
bunk, upon and around which are several children overcome 
by the fatigue of travelling. She, unlike the generality, is 
neatly dressed in a clean dark calico and sunbonnet, and 
wears a cheerful and intelligent look. She informs us that 
these are all her childi-en — six of them, that her husband is 
in the Union army, only a few miles out, that he had sent for 
her to come here, and she expects to see him in a few days. 
She cannot write, for she hasn't been to school a day in her 
life, and she says : — 

" An' that thar's suthin' you people hev' up north, thet we 
don't. Poor folks thar, hev' a chance to give thar children 
some larnin' ; but them as owns plantations down our way, 
don't give poor folks no chance. Larnin's only for rich folks. 
But my children shan't grow up to not know no more nor 
thar father nor thar mother, ef I kin' help it. Ef this war 
don't close so's to make it better for poor folks down har, we'll 
go north. Thar's a woman what kin' write," she adds with 
an admiring glance to the other side of the room, " an' she's 
writin' a letter for me to my husband." 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 57 

We glance that way, and see a youngish woman, whose 
entire clothing evidently consists of one garment, a dress 
which is colored with some kind of bark. She sits in con- 
scious superiority, scarcely deigning to notice us, as we ap- 
proach, while she is carefully managing the writing with one 
eye, while her head is turned half way from it, so that the 
ashes or coal, from the long pipe between her lips, may not 
fall upon the paper. Her air and manner are evidently in- 
tended to be regal, for isn't she the woman " what kin' write ?" 

At a little distance sat a hale, broad-shouldered, stalwart 
man, who looked as if he were able to do the work of half a 
dozen common men, who inquired of us, where " Hio was — if 
'twas in Dlinois " — and whether if he went to either of those 
places he would be " pressed into the service." In reply, we 
informed the gentleman that " Ohio was not in Illinois, but 
that if he went to either, he would probably have to stand his 
chance of being drafted, together with other good loyalists — 
with the physicians, lawyers, editors, and ministers. He did 
not reply to that, but his looks spoke eloquently, 

" For a lodge in some vast wdlderness, — 
Some boimdless contiguity of shade " 
Where war and draft come not. 

Miss Ada jM., the Matron of the Refugee Home, was, in 
our room this eve, and said that she was yesterday ^^reparing 
some sewing for some young Misses, who were conversing 
earnestly about the Yankees. Finding their ideas rather 
erroneous with regard to that class of people, she made a re- 
mark to the eiFect that she was one herself. 

" Why, you 'aint a Yankee?" exclaimed a Miss of fifteen 
dropping her work in blank astonishment. 

" Yes, indeed, I am," was the reply. 

" Why," said the girl, with remarkably large eyes, " I've 



58 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

allays liearn tell that the Yankees has horns, and one eye in 
the middle of their foreheads ! " 

Fridat, 22. 

Yesterday morning, Mr. F., a gentleman from my native 
State, Massachusetts, and who has charge of the Refugee 
Farm, asked if I would not like to ride out to the place, — they 
*' wanted a teacher and perhaps I might be willing to engage 
as one, if not the ride and fresh air would do me good." 

" Yes, I should enjoy it." 

Then hour after hour passed away, with the fresh morning 
air, and not until at the dinner table did I meet my expected 
cavalier. He explained : 

The fact was the poor old nag, which hadjjeen turned out 
some months before by government to die, like some other 
contrabands of war, wouldn't work — he was free ! But he 
had confiscated another animal from Government and hoped 
he might not long say of that as in the nursery ballad, that 

" The horse wouldn't go," 

as it was 

" Time he and I were gone an hour and a half ago." 

One, two and three o'clock came, and I overheard Lucy, 
one of the black girls, of about fourteen — though she doesn't 
know her age — laughing about " that thar Mr. F., who had 
been for two long hours, a curryin' an' pattin' an' feedin' that 
old horse with sugar, to coax it to be good : but I know by its 
actions it has never been harnessed 'fore a carriage in its life. 
For it acts, for all the world, like I did, when I ran away to 
find my freedom. I couldn't tell for my life, whether to go 
backwards or forward, to keep out of danger." 

In answer to my questions, she tells me that she was " the 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 59 

very first one that Lincoln set free in Winchester, but that as 
soon as she was gone, all the other nigs left." 

Of course, her remarks about the horse were not very en- 
couraging as regarded the safety or pleasure of the trip, even 
if he decided at last to go forward instead of backward. At 
half-past three, the equipage was announced in readiness, 
when, with a most self-denying spirit, I assured the gentle- 
man, that I would willingly forego the pleasure, if the animal 
was not perfectly safe. But he was quite positive upon that 
subject, and as I perceived the appearance of the contraband 
did not indicate anything vicious or powerful enough to be 
very dangerous, we started. Had a ride of perhaps two 
miles upon the other side of the town, stopped a moment by 
the guard, then allowed to proceed a mile farther to the Re- 
fugee Farm. 

This is best known to citizens as the Eweing farm. It was 
a splendid place, but has been nearly ruined by General Buel's 
army who camped uj^on it. Trees were felled, fences torn 
down, windows broken entirely out, and several fine out- 
buildings destroyed, such as a spring-house and conservatory, 
which I would like to have seen in its glory. Picked a 
beautiful bouquet of aj^ple-japonica and pomegranate blos- 
soms. Saw a " Butternut " planting cotton. He told me he 
expects, if the crop does well, to realize " one bale of picked 
cotton " from the two acres, which at present prices will brino- 
$250. The yield, he said, was only about a half or a third 
what it would be three degrees farther south. 

Sunday, 24. 

Went out in an ambulance with Rev. Dr. D., Mr. E. and 
Mrs. H., Iowa State Agent, to hear the first named gentle- 
man preach to a portion of the fifths I think, Ohio Cavalry. 
They are camped on the Achlen estate. Saw a tree called 



60 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

the Red Bud and the mistletoe for the first time. The last 
grew on an elm. Secured sjDecimens of each for pressing. 
Was indebted for the same to politeness of a gentleman who 
sported one bar. 

Attended service also this morn and eve at Union Church ; 
Rev. Mr. Allen officiated in the morning and Rev. Mr. Cramer 
this eve. The last is a young man and brother-in-law of 
General Grant. 

Monday, 25. 

The ambulance and driver were j)laced at my disposal this 
P.M., and I visited Hospital No. 1. I find changes here, but 
mostly for the better. Some have recovered sufficiently to 
be sent North. The " Alabamian," as he was called, who 
together with " William " was placed in my care, I am grieved 
to learn has " crossed the lines." He was getting better I 
was told, until one night he died suddenly of an ulcer on his 
lungs. William is dressed and walks around — is surely get- 
ting well, and talking of going home. Has had a letter 
written to his father and received a reply. Seems very 
grateful. The German suffered no more j^ain from the am- 
putation, and is hopeful. The Norwegian has no gangrene 
in his arm now, and it is fast healing. 

I find two or three new cases of interest. One is a middle- 
aged man who is suffering greatly from ulcers caused by 
scurvy. It is thought that he cannot live long; and he tells 
me that he isn't ready to die — that he has " been a bad man, 
that if the Lord will only spare him this time, he will live a 
different life." Another, a young man with fair skin, red 
cheeks and bright eyes, the victim of consumption, was moaning, 

" Oulv to die at home with mother ! " 



HOSriTAL PENCILLINGS. 61 

Thursday, 28. 

Am expecting soon to go to Huntsville, Alabama, as hos 
pital nurse. Should have gone four days since, had not Gen 
Sherman closed the way against everybody and everything 
except soldiers, rations, gunpowder and pontoon bridges. 
The road has been crowded with those for a week jDast. A 
great battle is expected to come off very soon, some where at 
the front. The Government has been pressing horses of 
every description into the service to-day. The streets have 
been crowded with teams marked "United States Transfer," 
those of " Q. M. D." and ammunition wagons. 

This evening 600 horses have gone jDast our door, en route 
for the front, where they are to act as scouts, I understand — 
not the horses, though, I believe, but their riders. 

General Sherman, himself, left for the front to-day noon. 

During this time of waiting for a pass, rather than remain 
idle, and also for the purpose of picking up some grains of 
knowledge with regard to the " capacity " of the colored 
race — which I believe a wealthy man said he would buy for 
his daughter if she was'nt supplied with the article — I volun- 
teered my services yesterday, as teacher in Mr. Brown's 
school. This is held in the body of the colored peoples' 
church, near the Chattanooga depot ; Mr. B. is from Hamil- 
ton, Ohio, and is the pioneer h#re, in this work. There are 
some 400 pupils and five teachers, all in one room. I sup- 
posed they were having recess when I entered, but found that 
it was impossible to prevent them from studying aloud. It 
seems it is practiced in the shcools of white children here, and 
the great number in this one room, prevented such discipline 
as otherwise would have been secured. 

Saturday, 30. 

The aptness of the pupils, as a whole, is really surprising. 
11 



62 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Some have learned the alphabet, I am told, in three days, and 
others in a week. 

It is said that all northern people who A'isit the school, very 
soon fall a victim to that fearful disease, known by the south- 
ern chivalry and northern copperheads, as " niggar on the 
brain." And I will confess my belief that were I to teach in 
this school very long, I might become so interested in some 
of my pujDils I should sometimes forget that they were not of 
the same color as myself, and really believe that God di<l 
make of one blood all nations of the earth. 

They present every shade of color from the blackest hue to 
a fairer skin than my own. It is often necessary to find out 
who the mother is before you know whether the person is 
white or black. The age varies from four to thirty. 

The progress of some is really astonishing. One little 
black girl of seven years, and with wooly head, can read flu- 
ently in the Fourth Reader, and studies primary, geography, 
and arithmetic, who has been to school but one year. I in- 
quired if any one taught her at home, or if she had not learn- 
ed how to read before that time. '' Oh, no, I learned my letters 
when I first came to school, and I live with my aunt Mary, 
and she can't read. She's no kin to me, and I havn't any 
kin, but I call her aunt." 

Perhaps she never had aif)% or is related to Topsey, and if 
questioned farther, might say she " 'spects she grew." A boy 
of about twelve, who has been to school but nine months, and 
who learned his letters in that time, reads in the Third Reader 
and studies geography. Some are truly polite. The first day 
of my taking charge of one of the divisions, a delicate fea- 
tured, brown-skinned little girl of about nine years came to 
me and said with the sweetest voice and manner : — 

" Lady will you please tell me your name ?" 

I did so, when she thanked me and said : — 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 63 

" Miss P can you please hear our Third Reader this 

ftiorning." It was not an idle question either, for the school is 
so large that now, while two of the teachers are absent, from 
illness, some of the classes are each day necessarily neglected. 
And so eager are tlie generality of the pupils to learn, that 
most of them are in two or three reading and Sj^elling classes 
at the same time. 

One might now not only exclaim with Gallileo, " the world 
does move," but add, and we move with it. For though but a 
little time since the negro dared not say " I think," lest the 
master might exclaim, — " You think, you black niggar — never 
you mind about that, I'll do your thinking for you," but would 
instead, say deferentially, with bent head and hand in his 
wooly hair, " Wall, massa, I'se been a studyin' about dat 
dar," is now learning to stand erect and confess that he does 
think, as well as learn to read and write. 

One of the more advanced pupils told me that her father 
taught her to read and write before it was safe to let any one 
know that he did, or that he could himself read. 



EVEXIKG. 

Eureka ! That wonderful secret, like '' murder," has " out." 
I have been very cautiously, and little by little, and with 
many charges not to tell any body, informed of the terrible 
crime for which I was tried, convicted, sentenced and banish- 
ed, while all the time in blissful ignorance of the crime itself. 
This is the way of managing affliirs here, I am told, and it is 
called military style. I like it. It saves one all the trouble 
and worry of defending one's self. And that might make one 
nervous and excited. It saves also confusion in the mind of the 
adjudging party, the same as of a certain judge in Missouri, 
who having heard evidence on the side of the plaintiff, refused 



64 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

to listen to that of the defendant, with the profound remark, 
that " whenever he heard both sides he always got things so 
mixed u]^, that he never could tell upon which side to give 
judgement ! " 

But the grave charge, as ferreted out by some two or three 
friends, of whidi I am accused, and to most of which I should 
have plead " not guilty " had opportunity been given, runs 
thus, — that upon a certain occasion, I presented myself before 
the surgeon of the division and told him with an authoritative 
air, that I wished he " would see that a certain patient had a 
mustard poultice on his chest, for he wanted it." 

This is my defence. One morning, I found a man suffering 
greatly with a pain in the chest from j^neumonia, according to 
the physician's diagnosis. He was convalescing from vario- 
loid and had taken cold. He breathed very short, seemed in 
extreme pain and begged for a mustard jDoultice. J said I 
dare not apply it without jDcrmission from the surgeon, 
but w^ould ask him immediately. He was in another tent 
— the third above, and while going there I recollected 
hearing that some physicians w^ere offended even by a request, 
and hesitated. Then thinking of the moans and apparent 
danger of the sufferer, I proceeded. These contradictory emo- 
tions, I can now realize, gave an unusual brusqueness to my 
manner, as I said : — 

" Doctor there is a patient in the third tent below, on bed. 
No. 9, who is in great pain and wants a mustard poultice. 
Will you see if be needs it? If so, I can make it." 

There was a tlash in his eyes, as he rej^lied : — " / will at- 
tend to the man. As for the mustard poultices, it is not 
necessary that you should attend to them, as the men nurses 
do that." 

The patient did not have the poultice, but presume the phy- 
sician gave him something which removed the pain, as it had 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 65 

left him at noon. This trouble was caused simply by a mis- 
understanding. He used the word want for need^ so that 
when I said the man " wanted " it — meaning he had asked 
for it, he interpreted it so as to convey the idea of my assum- 
ing the responsibility of saying, " he needed " it. He also 
understood me to order him to " see " that the man had it, 
when I simply asked if he would " see if he needed it." 

I respect this physician and his wife, but wish he had been 
certain of my meaning before reporting the speech to the 
surgeon-in-chariie. 

There is also another little matter which I am certain had 
something to do with my departure, but which it would 
scarcely be policy for them to mention. It was this. The 
next day after speaking to Chaplain S. about visiting those 
sick men who had sent for him, and whom, though he was 
obliged to pass the tents v/here they lay in going to his room, 
he did not visit, I sent a slip of paper, saying in pencil, that as 
he had probably forgotten it, and as they were anxious to see 
him, I would remind him of this request. I received no re- 
sponse to the same, although I am certain he received the 
note, and the day passed without his visiting the sick men, 
although, at noon, I saw him out for half an hour, engaged in 
pitching quoits. I certainly did feel somewhat indignant, 
when the next morning came, and I found from the lips of 
the sick soldiers that he had not been in the tent ; and I won- 
dered, when I knew he had not been in to see a single sick or 
dying soldier in my division since my stay, nor preached a 
funeral sermon for the many who had died in my division 
alone, what could occupy his time. I asked for information 
of two of the ladies, and was told in excuse for him, that his 
time was fully occupied in discharging the duties of clerk for 
the surgeon-in-charge. So here was a chaplain neglecting 
the sacred duties of his own profession, though amply paid 
12 



66 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

for the same, and earning more of the filthy lucre, to the 
neglect of dying men ! 

Thus endeth the defence. Mrs. Gala Days, you were en*- 
tirely correct in your assertion that one must go abroad and 
see the world, to have " personal experiences." 

Sunday, May 1. 

This P. M., Miss O. and myself accompanied Rev. E. P. 
Smith to listen to his " colored jDreaching," as he termed it, in 
the same church in which is the school for the colored 
children. It was a rare treat — and the first colored audience 
I ever saw. 

Do not imagine a squalid, ragged, filthy audience ; but one 
where silks, ribbons, velvet, broadcloth, spotless linen and 
beavers predominated, with a sprinkling of beautifully carved 
or silver, and gold-headed canes, with about the usual propor- 
tion of fops to the canes that one may find in an audience of 
equal size, of our own color. Some of these persons are free 
and own property. But one would scarcely covet some of 
the ladies their silks and velvets, when she learns that it is 
purchased with the avails of extra labor at night after the 
day's work " for de missus is done." 

But so it is. And although the church was built some 
years ago with their money, yet it was held in trust by white 
people because " negroes cannot own property." 

I have been repeatedly told that I would turn pro-slavery 
when I came south and saw how things really were. I do 
not feel any of the first symptoms as yet, but quite the con- 
trary. Instead, I'm getting to believe that the day when the 
Emancipation Document was sent forth, was that of which it 
is said " a nation shall be born in a day," and I'm learning to 
think that this gospel, which is 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 67 

" Writ in burnished rows of steel," 
and read by 

" Tlie watch-fires of au hundred circling camps/' 

is the "word" which ''makes men free," and will forever 
strike the manacles from the oppressed bondsman. 

One indignant white man, during the first prayer which 
was made by a negro preacher, and in which he asked for 
blessing upon the Union arms and freedom for slaves, left his 
seat and walked the whole length of the church, with heavy 
tread and with his hat on his head, while a voice called out, — 

" Take your h'at off!" 

During the closing prayer the negro very properly prayed, 
" Oh Lord, wilt dou give de people good manners and teach 
'em right behaviour wen dey come into de house obde Lord!" 

The sermon was the Bible-story of the death of James and 
the release of Peter from prison. It v/as told in a simple, 
earnest, impressive manner, to a deeply attentive, impressible 
audience. AY hen he drew the picture of the angel entering 
the prison, and taking Peter away as easily as though " his 
chains were made of wax and a lighted candle was held be- 
neath them, while the four quarternians — sixteen — soldiers 
were powerless to act," one old man laughed outright, a 
joyous, grateful laugh, others made their peculiar grunting 
noise which no combination of sounds will give exactly, 
while others shook hands and cried " Glory to God." During 
the singing some women had the " power " so that they 
passed round, embraced and shook hands. 

Some joined the church, and the negro preacher told them 
he " hoped that wouldn't be the last of it, and that they'd be 
faithful and come to church ; " but that some joined whom he 
" never could get a chance to set eyes on again, so that when 
they died he never could tell which place they'd gone 
to!" 



68 HOSPITAL PENCILLTNGS. 

I have forgotten to note in its proper place, tliat upon 
entering the church Miss O. and myself took seats in the only 
unoccupied pew in the body of the church. But Rev. Mr. S. 
beckoned us forward to a side seat by the pulpit. We took 
our seats there, but soon a neat, elderly negress came forward 
and said with a coaxing smile and voice, " Young ladies go 
up in de altar an' set — you doesn't want to set down here wid 
dese yere colored folks." We preferred remaining, and she 
urged the matter in vain. Soon an elderly mulatto man, 
probably a prominent member in the church, whose portly 
form was assisted in its waddles by a gold-headed cane, came 
forward and made the same request. But not being accus- 
tomed to the highest seat in the synagogue on account of 
our possessing a lighter color, we declined doing so until 
all the seats were fdled and some must stand, when we did go ; 
but upon others coming in they also were induced to take a 
seat in the altar. 

During the sermon Mr. S. related an interesting personal 
experience. He said that a year ago last July he was in 
front of Vicksburg, in that dreadful fever region — the Yazoo 
bluffs. He felt the fever coming upon him — he knew some- 
thing of its workings — he was two thousand miles from any- 
body he knew. He said he " had been talking to the boys, 
to the sick ones in the hospital, telling them that it didn't 
matter where they died if they only had Jesus with them, and 
he found that on his back, and on his blanket, had come the 
time to take some of his own medicine." He said he " tried 
to do so, but found it rather hard to take. He tried to think 
that it was just as well to be sick there and to die and be 
buried on the Yazoo bluffs, and never see his family again ; 
but somehow he couldn't get in that frame of mind, but kept 
thinking he would much rather be at home. One morning, 
after he had burned and tossed with fever all night, Aunt 



JIOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 69 

Nancy came aKcl drew back the fo](l^^ of the tent and said: 

" ' Massa, how are you this moraing — have you found the 
bright side ? ' 

'• ' Well no. Aunt Nancy, I haven't found anj^ bright side.' 

" ' Well, INIassa, I'se sorry you can't, for Aunt Nancy never 
get in such trouble but she can find the bright side.' 

" ' Well, Nancy,' I said, ' I guess you've never had any very 
great trouble — guess you don't know what it is.' 

"'Well,' said she with a sigh, 'may be I don't know what 
trouble is, but my old man was sold away from me down in 
old Virginny and I never see him anymore, and then my son, 
the staff of my old age, was sold way down in de rice fields, 
an' I never see him any more. No — maybe I don't know 
what trouble is, but after that my last little boy an' girl was 
sold away from me, an' I never see them any more — an' now 
I'm getting so old I'll never go back to ole Yirginny any 
more ! ' 

'• ' Well, Aunt Nancy, that is trouble ; but tell me how you 
managed to find the bright side.' 

" ' Well, Massa,' she said, ' when I see the storm coming, 
and the clouds are thick and get black and blacker, then I 
just go ''round the other side of the cloud where Jesus is /' 

" ' Then I turned over in my bed, with my face to the back 
of the tent, and said ; 

" ' Come now fever, death and burial upon the Yazoo bluffs, 
if God v.ills, I am ready ! ' " 



70 HOSPITAL PENCILT.INGS. 



CHAPTER VI. 

Tuesday, May 3. 

Spring has long delayed her coming here as well as north- 
ward. I could not he comfortable this P. M. in my room 
without a fire. Still, despite the cold, I have seen the blos- 
som of a species of magnolia, which is very beautiful. It is 
in shape and size something like the African lily, and grew 
upon a tree the size of the common apple. It is of a peach- 
blow hue upon the outside and white within, and with the 
mingled fragrance of the roses and lemon. 

Aunt Nanny, the former housekeeper of the rebel banker 
who owned this residence, has just been giving me a highly 
interesting account of the scenes here when it became known 
that our forces were coming towards Nashville. It was on 
Sunday morning the news reached the white citizens, when 
they were on their way to church. And the streets were 
soon filled with half-crazed people flying here and there, 
women and children and even men running out of breath, 
and screaming, "The Yankees are coming," Mdiile the less 
excited ones were securing evjer}^ possible conveyance to use 
for flight. 

" We colored folks," said Aunt Nanny, " knew it in the night, 
and all de mornin' while de white ones was so quiet a piitiii' 
on dere finery for church, we knew it wouldn't last long. An' 
we was all so full wid de great joy, dat we'se a sayin' in our 
hearts all de time '' Bless de Lord,''' " Thank de good God,'' 
for de " day of jubilee has come ! " 

"But w^e was mighty hush, an' put on just as long faces as 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 71 

we could, ail' was might' 'si^rized when they told us of it. -An* 
missus she come runniii' back from the street wid' her bonnet 
on her neck, an' the strings a flyin', an' she come to the kitch- 
en and put up both arms, an' she said : — 

" ' Oh, Aunt Nanny, we'll all be killed ! The Yankees are 
coming ! They'll hang or cut the throat of every niggar 
that's left here ! ' 

" An' after that she tried to have me go south with her, but 
I told her I'd risk the Yankees a killin' us, an' I wouldn't 
go." 

Aunt Nanny is respected by all who know her. She is 
neat, industrious, well-informed, although she cannot read, re- 
spectful, polite, affectionate, virtuous, and a Christian. Her 
husband is here, and she has one little daughter who is in my 
division at school. 

She tells me also that only last Sunday she saw the body 
of a dead negro boy of about nine years who died from blows 
received from his mistress. The cause was her anger that his 
mother had run away in search of freedom. But the mother 
heard of the illness of her child and returned in time to hear 
him say that " the whipping his mistress had given him had 
killed him," and to find upon his back the terrible gashes 
from the whip, and bruises from blow\s. 

I wdsh I had known of this before the child was buried. 
Having the name of speaking my mind, it might be as well to 
do so, occasionally. 

Have just listened to a little incident which occurred some 
months since. While Grant had charge of this department. 
General Rousseau in his absence, issued an order to the effect 
that slaveholders, who had taken the oath of allegiance, might 
dispose of their slaves. One man from the country, accord- 
ingly drove in several slave Avomeii tied hand to hand. But 
Grant had suddenlv returned and countermanded the permit, 



72 HOSPITAL PI':NCILLINGS. 

and he could not dispose of them. He got into his carriage 
and ordered his negro women to march home. They refused 
to obey. This was unprecedented insolence. He caught his 
horse-whip and was about laying it over their shoulders when 
the " blue coats " appeared as suddenly and as thick around 
him as if like fairies they had popped out of the ground. 

" No whipping here ! No whipping here ! " they exclaim- 
ed, and the result was, he was forced to return alone, and 
they were slaves no longer. 

Wednesday, May 4. 

A death in the house. Little Clark, the only son of Rev. 
E. P. Smith, aged three and a half.years, died last night. It 
is a sad affliction. The disease, decline from measles. The 
funeral service was held in the parlor, this P. M., by Rev. 
Mr. Allen. His body was embalmed and is to be sent to the 
Sabbath School of the parish, over which Mr. S. jDresided, at 
Pepperill, Massachusetts. 

To me it seems strangely touching — this trusting of the 
precious remains to the chances of travel, and so many miles 
away, to land in the throng of sad little faces to whose ques- 
tioning glances he can -perchance respond 

" From the land o' the leal." 

He was laid out in a child's military suit of light blue, with 
star-flowers, snow-drops, rose-buds, and leaves of the rose 
geranium. It was a sweetly sacred bequest to the Sabbath 
School. 

Saturday, 7. 

Have been to Hospital, No. 1, at the request of a motlier 
whose young son had died there. She is in great anxiety to 
learn something of his last words, and whetlier he died a 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING8. 73 

Christian. I have just written her the facts, that there was 
no outward evidence of the same, but that she must trust the 
Good Father that it was " well with him." 

All the patients whom I have mentioned in my journal, 
are better. Even the one with ulcers is improving. As for 
William he has applied for a furlough, and expects soon to go 
home. 

Day before yesterday a girl came to school who had just 
the look and complexion of a snufF-dipping refugee. She, 
also, like them, wore a dress of the same color, derived from 
some kind of bark. Her manner was as listless and her ex- 
pression as vacant. Wishing much to know whether she 
could claim our superior race as her own, or whether a few 
drops of the black blood in her veins had procured perhaps 
from her father and master the fiat — " only a niggar ! " I 
made known my curiosity to one of the teachers, with my 
perplexity as to how I should obtain the coveted information, 
without wounding her feelings. 

" Oh ! you need not fear that," was the reply, " they're used 
to it, and expect to be asked whether they're niggars or not." 

I could not do it, however, without considerable circumlo- 
cution ; and commenced by asking if she could buy herself a 
book, whom she lived with, &c. After some time the ques- 
tions eliminated the fact that though she didn't know whether 
she was free, or a " refugee," her own second name, or the 
age, — she did know that she had lived most of her life in 
Texas, where she had always worked out of doors, had hoed 
corn, and ploughed — that she lived with the same people 
now — that her father she had never heard anything of — that 
her mother was black, " though not real black," and finally 
that she herself was a " niggar," — which nobody else could 
have told by her features or complexion. 

A lady who stopped over night, on her way home from 
13 



74 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Bridgeport, where she has been stationed with her husband in 
charge of sanitary stores, relates the following : 

She said that sitting a few days since in the rooms where 
were the stores of the Christian Commission, she saw a wo- 
man, when half a mile distant, who had a long stick in her 
hand. She supposed that being weary perhaps, with a long 
walk, she had picked it up to serve the office of a cane. But 
after entering, and engaging for some time in jovial conversa- 
tion and laughter with some neighbors, she found there, she 
made known her errand. She w^anted to beg a shirt, pair of 
stockings and a coffin for her husband, and the stick was the 
measure of his body. ]\Iy informant asked the age of the de- 
ceased husband, and she replied : 

" Well, now, I never rightly axed him how old he was. but 
I reckon he mought be nigh on to thirty or forty I " 

Tuesday, May 10. 

My friend Miss 0. is quite ill. We fear it may prove ty- 
phoid fever. Shall not enter the school again until she is 
better. 

Last evening, had just seated myself to write to Mrs. 
Bickerdyke who had promised me a situation in Huntsville, 
Alabama, when she and Mrs. Jeremiah Porter, of Chicago, 
arrived on train from that place, bound for the front of Sher- 
man's army, if they can procure passes. 

To-day at dinner table, heard Rev. Dr. Thompson, of New 
York city, say that he saw 8,000 men march through the 
streets of Paris, at that farce entitled the election of Napole- 
on. I expressed my idea of the grand sight to Mrs. B. when 
she said that was not equal to what may be seen now. That 
there are " twice that number marching to the front now." 

" Is there ? " was the surprised inquiry. 

" Yes," she replied, " why don't you read the papers ? You 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 75 

ignorant women in the army do ask such foolish questions ! " 
This is her style of speech, but she is a perfect hero in the 
army, among sick soldiers. 

It seems that not long since she solicited and obtained con- 
tributions of fruit and vegetables for the soldiers who are 
suffering with scrofulous diseases for want of them. Some 
have arrived at this place, which she had ordered to be sent to 
Huutsville. She had left word while here some time since, 
with Colonel, or Captain Somebody, whose duty it was to at- 
tend to the matter, to forward them immediately upon their ar- 
rival. She also wrote the same from Huntsville, and still the 
fruits and vegetables came not, although she had learned of 
their arrival at this city, while the sick men in the hospital 
were suffering for the want of the vegetables, which were 
wasting from decay. This morning, she sallied out to ferret 
out the matter. In an hour or two she came capering into 
our room, where Mrs. P. was writing, and swinging her bon- 
net by the string, exclaimed : 

" There, I've done it ! I've said it ! I've had it all my 
own way, for you wasn't there — addressing Mrs. P. — , to 
nudge my elbow and whisper ' be careful now, don't say too 
much,' or to tell the one I'm talking to ' Oh, she don't mean 
that.' Why what do you think I found ?" she continued. I 
found those cars of vegetables moved on to a side track to 
spoil for days, while some of these officers have been sending 
on i\\Q\Y Jine furniture to Jceep house with, down to Huntsville. 
And after finding this out, I went to the office of this fine 
gentleman in shoulder-straps, and told him to send on those 
things in double quick-time, or I'd have his official head taken 
off. And I asked him if it needed a Miss Nancy to come 
and tell Miss Betty what her duty was, before she could do 
it." 



76 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Fkidat, 13. 

Miss O. since last date, has been daily growing worse. It 
seems she must have typhoid fever, and for one of her deli- 
cate health and sensitive nerves, we fear the worst. Her 
mind is at times wandering, and she dwells upon the scenes of 
filth and wretchedness she has seen among the refugees. At 
the commencement of her illness she was playfully told that 
she had " refugee on the brain." But it has since become 
too serious a matter to jest about, for she is sometimes certain 
they are in the bed with her ; and this morning she told me 
of that " filthy refugee phlegm she spits up." She is a favor- 
ite in the house, and has every needed comfort and attention. 
I shall not leave for a hospital during her illness. 

It was this subject which won from Mrs. P. the following : 
" A soldier at Fort Donaldson was wounded in the head, and 
was taken care of by Mrs. B. He was at times deranged, 
but got better and went to his home in Michigan. Afterward 
he became so bad as to require constant watching, and it was 
decided to take him to the insane asylum at Jackson. While 
on his way there, in the care of his brother, who was worn 
out with wakefulness, Mrs. B. entered the car. The insane 
man knew his old nurse, and she said the saying flashed 
through her mind that we should treat a crazy man as though 
everybody was crazy but himself. So she said to him : — 

"Why you're taking your brother to Jackson, aren't you?" 

" Yes," he promptly responded. 

'' How long has he been crazy ? " she asked. 

" Oh ! he has always been crazy," he replied with em- 
phasis. 

So she told him she would help him watch his brother, and 
taking his arm walked back and forth in the car with him, 
and let the well man lie down and sleep. They had had much 
trouble with him, but he caused none the rest of the way. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 77 

She accompanied him to Jackson and has since heard that he 
is rapidly recovering. 

Saturday, 14. 

Mr. v., an acquaintance from Michigan, called on Wednes- 
day. He is a secret messenger or spy for the Government. 
He wears the citizen's dress and a seven-shooter beneath the 
skirts of his coat, and has papers to show that he has a permit 
to wear the arms. His headquarters are here, and he goes 
on missions to and from the front. He says that on coming 
on the train from Chattanoooga last Monday the train was 
fired into. He saw one man in the act of firing and he re- 
turned the fire, and by the way he tumbled back into the 
bushes he had reason to think his own shot took effect. 

He says the young lady at his boarding-house on Cedar 
Street, exhibited a pistol that morning, and said it was " in- 
tended to shoot a Yankee with ; and that most ladies of 
Nashville carried one for the same purpose." 

He told her in return that they might threaten, but that 
they seemed perfectly willing to accept a Yankee for a hus- 
band. It seems she has herself refused a wealthy citizen for 
a Yankee sutler. 

Have found this eve that a Prof. P., a graduate of Yale, is 
about as nearly related to myself as the thirteenth cousin ; 
and that he as well as myself can trace a relationship back to 
the " Mayflower." I think we each took a mutual dislike to the 
other from the first, and have been as coolly polite as possible ; 
but this chance discovery will probably lead each to look with 
much leniency upon the faults of the other. 

He tells me that with another of the delegates he has this 

P. M. been " the distinguished guest " of the 10th Tennessee 

Battery, which is stationed at the Capitol, and very near 

Governor Andy Johnson. That they were " sumptuously re- 

14 



78 HOSPITAL PENCILLING3. 

galed with hard tack and molasses, and coffee with sugar in it! " 

Sunday Eve, May 15. 

Miss O. is very much worse. I did not sleep any last 
night, and about three sent for Dr. F. She is suffering 
greatly, and it is the opinion that before many days nature 
may give up the contest. I cannot realize it, but fear I am 
to lose this dear friend. Having had the exclusive care of 
her and feeling quite worn, two ladies volunteered to take my 
place to-day and eve. Sought sleep this forenoon but anxiety 
prevented but little. This P. M. " Charley," as everybody 
calls him, kindly prescribed fresh air and carriage exercise, 
and we rode out about two miles to hear a delegate preach to 
what is called " Anderson's corps." 

It seems they enlisted with a promise that they should 
constitute General Anderson's body corps but afterward were 
forced into the common field service. They were mostly 
graduates and professional men, and some have mutinied. 
"Wonder whose fault this was — this wrong done them ? I 
should be angry with them, even, should tli^y tell me it was the 
fault of the Government. The truth is that Red Tape, 
which in its rightful province forms the firm ligatures which 
keep in their proper places the different portions of the social 
and military systems, is sometimes distorted from its original 
use, and made to subserve the interest of petty underlings 
and unprincipled officials. It is these who tell us that all 
sin and high-handed wickedness which is wrought in high 
places, must be " winked at." 

" Red Tape is all right," said a poor boy in Hospital No. 8, 
" if the commissioned officers did their duty, and had to come 
under it the same as the privates. 'Tis the abuse of it which 
makes the trouble." 

This poor boy had lain for seven long months in the hospi- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLTNGS. 79 

tal, while begging to go home, after his limb had been, as all 
the surgeons declared, permanently bent nearly at right angles 
with his body. 

" Anderson's corps " is a fine and intellectual looking set of 
soldiers. 

We also visited the 15th Colored Regiment and saw them 

on dress parade. Lieut. Col. accompanied me, and 

explained the changes and evolutions. He says that no reg- 
iment of our own color could so perfectly learn the evolutions, 
or a band learn to perform so well in so short a time. 

Thursday Eve, 19. 

My friend is somewhat better, but is very restless, and 
sleeps but little. She has been moved to a large, pleasant 
room in the third story where the air is purer, but the two 
large windows which open upon the front street and which 
must be open all the time to furnish air for the invalid, admit 
the continual tramp, tramp, tramp of the soldiers or horses, 
and the rumble of wheels through the long day and night. 
Her physician and friends think the only chance for her life 
is to obtain the pure air of the North and the quiet of home. 
It is in contemplation to send her as soon as it is considered 
safe for her to undertake the journey by water. 

Have just returned from the Capitol, where I enjoyed the 
novelty of listening to the lecture in the Hall of Representa- 
tives, and by moonlight, which is described without date in 
Chapter Third. Rev. Drs. Thompson, of New York City, 
and Buddington, of Brooklyn, have just returned from the 
front to-day, and were witnesses of the battle near Dalton and 
Resaca. 

Found a telegram from the brother of my patient upon my 
return. My last letter will reach him in reply. 



80 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



CHAPTER VII. 

On board the " Victory," 
Cumberland Eiver, May 25. 

So I am en route for Western Illinois with my sick friend. 
She was dressed for the first time since her ilhiess to ride in a 
hack to the boat. Did not know of om* going till about two 
hours previous. The hurry of preparation, and departure 
from friends, was trying to the invalid, and stimulants only 
kept her up to reach the boat. An excellent state-room had 
been procured and she was placed in the berth. We came 
on the boat last eve about five, the boat started about six and 
we are now steaminoj down the Cumberland. This is an 
excellent boat, there are scarcely any passengers, and every- 
thing for our comfort has been freely proffered, which, to- 
gether with the gift of free transportation, evinces their 
sympathy with the Christian Commission and the cause of 
suffering humanity in general. Every one on the boat, from 
the colored servants and chambermaid to the captain, seem 
anxious to show every needed attention. 

The invalid passed a miserable night without sleep, until 
after daylight, and is worse this morning. This writing is 
the product of seconds of leisure, between times of caring for 
her. She is full of sympathy for the sick soldiers, and the 
disappointment of having contributed so little for them, in her 
short stay, contributes not a little to her anxiety. She is one 
of those, who, if her physical strength kept pace with her 
ambition, would contribute largely to some labor of love 
peculiar to the philanthropist. As it is, she is one of our 



HOSPITAL PE^'CILLINGS. 81 

silent coral workers, and though her stay in the South has 
been short, yet there are those with whom her influence will 
go through life for good. 

Evening. 

We passed Clarksville, Tenn., about nine this morning. 
Saw there the wreck of a boat which ran against the stone 
pillars one night, about two months since, causing the death, 
by drowning, of about forty Union soldiers. C. is a beautiful 
place, A fort guards the river entrance. 

Later, passed fort Donaldson. Was surprised to find this 
a mere earthwork fortification, instead of some massive and 
strong stone or brick structure. It is four or five miles in 
extent, and on a high eminence overlooking the river. Our 
people now fear nothing from the river, but give more thought 
to the land approaches ; with the enemy it was the reverse, 
and was the cause of our forces landing below the bend of the 
river, out of reach of the guns, and passing round and attack- 
ing them on the other side. The green-wooded hillsides were 
pointed out to me, on which are buried thousands of martyr 
soldiers, martyrs to the cause of our country, or that of 
ambition, or to false ideas of duty, but martyrs all the same. 

An old lady of seventy, with crutches, came on board at 
Clarksville, who is going to Paduca, near which six of her 
children reside. She has lived near Clarksville, ever since 
quite a little girl, and has never moved over a mile in the 
time, till since the war has commenced, but thinks " its terri- 
ble moving times now." She thinks : — 

"This was to be so, for Scriptur foretelled it, and she 
T)leves whichever is in the right will conquer." 

I inquired to what passage of Scripture she referred. 
" 'Twas that passage what tellcd 'bout ' wars and rumors o' 
wars.' " 



82 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

In the course of conversation, while answering her queries 
as to our destination, she informed us that she " did have a 
son an' a right smart lot of other folks, up in Illinois." In re- 
ply to the question of what part of the State they were in, she 
wasn't " sure now, 'bout that thar, but reckoned they might 
not be very far from Vandalia, or used to be, but now they'd 
mighty nigh all on 'em died up ! " 

Thursdat, 22. 

My patient slept well last night, and is better to-day. She 
told me this morning that she did not tell me how ill she was 
yesterday, but that she knew unless there was a change, she 
should never see home, and thought it would be so bad if she 
should die before getting there. I knew her danger yester- 
day, and know it still, but did not know that she realized it 
until she told me this. I scarcely fear death for her w^hile on 
the route, as the excitement and stimulants will keep her up, 
but I fear she will have but a short time to stay at her earthly 
home before she goes to one better and more enduring, where 
is " rest for the weary." 

EVEXIXG. 

Passed Cairo . to-day ; and saw Fort Prentice. This also 
is merely an earthwork, or fortification, with one ugly looking 
iron gun mounted and looking toward the widening of the 
river, like an open-mouthed watch-dog, ready to bay at in- 
truders. There, the now swollen and muddy waters of the 
Ohio mingled with those of the Father of Waters, whose 
sandy color formed a striking contrast, and the line of meet- 
ing is plainly visible. It is, sometimes, the reverse of this, 
when the Mississippi is high, and the Ohio low. I there saw 
Bird's Point, and the residence of the man for whom it was 
named, while looking upon three States at once. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 83 

Passed Cape Geradeau about five o'clock. As the boat 
rounded to the shore, a coffin was brought down to the beach 
and then on board. 

" There," said the Captain, " goes one more soldier home 
in a box." 

But it proved to be the body of a Mrs. Bradley, who was 
droAViied at the launching of a gunboat, at Carondelet, the 
10th of last February. Other ladies were precipitated into 
the water at the time, but none drowned. Her body was 
found the 10th of this month, on a snag seven miles above 
Cape Geradeau. The body was past recognition, but there 
was a gold button with initials, which had been sent to her by 
her husband, and by which she was recognized. The finding 
of the body with mention of the button was made in the St 
Louis papers, which seeing, he came on, recognized the but- 
ton, had the body unburied and with his little boy came on 
board with the body, which he is taking to his home in Cin- 
cinnati. He is a gunboat builder. 

I saw two of those queer-looking Monitors to-day, at Car- 
ondelet. 

Friday Eve., 27. 

The invalid is worse to-day. She suffers very much from 
exhaustion, but insisted upon being dressed before reaching 
St. Louis, as we expected to take the packet for Quincy to- 
night. But we arrived at the lower landing just as the packet 
was leaving the upper. 

I dispatched a note to the agent of the C. C, as directed 
before leaving Nashville, and soon was in receipt of a note 

from his clerk, which was addressed to " E. J. P Esq." 

and commenced with " Mr. P., Dear Sir." Another note dis- 
claiming the titles, and informing them that two lone women 
instead needed some attention, very soon brought Mr. Smyth 
on board the boat. 



84 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

On Board the ""Waksatv," 
Mississippi River, Saturday, May 28. 

Everybody is very kind. Mr. Smyth came on board again 
this morning, and assisted in carrying my patient in an arm 
chair to the carriage in waiting, and then accompanied us to 
the upper dock and on board the " Warsaw," where he had pre- 
viously secured a pleasant stateroom. 

Transportation here is also freely proffered, and the cap- 
tain gave the steward and chambermaid orders in my hearing,, 
to attend to every call for our comfort. They are all so very 
kind, and I am so thankful on Miss O's account. 

Qdinct, 111., Sunday Evening, 29. 

Last night we were called up in a hurry at twelve o'clock, 
to change boats, as one of the engines of the " Warsaw," had 
given out. We exchanged for the " Northerner," a small 
boat with inferior accommodations, and a slow sailer. The 
change was trying to the invahd. The boat landed us at this 
city about four, P. M. A note was dispatched to the Eev. 
Mr. King, Miss O's former pastor. After some delay, Mrs. 
K., with a gentleman, arrived in a carriage, and we were soon 
at her comfortable home, and the weary invalid was soon 
resting in a soft bed in a quiet room. We have just had a re- 
freshing cup of tea, and Mrs. S. sends me off to my room, 
where I shall enjoy the luxury of a bath and a rest till morn- 
ing, while she enacts the part of nurse. 

Monday, 30. 

Took express train, between four and five this morning, and 
reached the home of Miss O. about seven. The conductor 
very kindly stopped the train so that the car in which she 
was, came just in front of her father's gate. There is no sta- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 8o 

tion here, but the pale, wasted features of the sufferer were 
with him, as others, a jDassj^ort to favor. 

As the cars halted, her aged parents came out to receive 
their daughter as she was carried to the steps of the car. 
They supported her to the house, and not a word was ex- 
changed between them and myself, except what concerned her 
comfort, until after she had been hastily undressed and placed 
in bed and restoratives administered. Then the aged doctor 
came forward and taking m}^ hand, said tremulously : — 

" And now is this Miss P ? " 

" Yes, after so long a time," was the reply. 

And then, with tears in his eyes, he pressed a kiss, reverently 
it seemed, upon my lips. The mother then kissed me also 
with tremulous tenderness. I wondered what induced them 
to welcome me in 'such a manner. I suppose they think I've 
been kind to their daughter, but if so, a good share of it sprang 
from selfishness, for I want her to live for my society. 

Monday, June 6. 

A week full of anxiety has passed on leaden wings. Have 
been ill myself, and necessitated to keep my bed much of the 
time, from the care, anxiety and wakefulness of the past three 
weeks. But that was a little matter, for I needed only rest 
to recover ; while for the invalid, we feared there was no balm 
in Gilead. 

It was the second day after her arrival, that she came very 
near leaving this for the better land. She says she was so 
near, that she had blessed glimpses of that calm, serene, holy 
place. vShe cannot describe it. No beautiful " evergreen 
mountains of life," with their tops hid in the blue heavens, no 
gorgeous city with its spires and steeples pointing heaven- 
ward, no birds on rainbow pinions, or beautiful blessed isles 
of Beulah, sleeping on the broad waters in the hazy golden 
15 



86 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

distance, with mansions upon each, as though prepared for the 
souls of the blessed, which I have vainly pictured to her 
mind's vision, can be any comparison to that indescribable 
place, which gave such a feeling of ^^ holy calm and rest' 
Only a broad ex^Danse of water stretching away beneath the 
azure of serene heavens, is the faintest emblem. She " saw 
the angels, just as plainly as she has ever seen me," who with 
their balmy wings, were 

" Eouncl her bed and in her room, 
Waiting to waft her spirit home," 

as she often repeats to us. 

She was then, and is now, sure that she knows what death 
is like, that its " strange coldness not like any other," came 
upon her, and she " felt the blood settling round her heart." 

She had all day been complaining of a "suffocating feeling 
and pain through the lungs," but the feeling that death had 
come, came suddenly, and found many of her friends absent. 
A " pet brother " was away, and though willing to go, she 
wished " first to kiss darling brother good bye." And so she 
eagerly took spoonful after spoonful of wine to live until he 
might come. He did come and she wished to die in his arms, 
and so he held her until the moments grew into hours, and 
other friends were sent for, and more stimulants given to keep 
her for them, and still she waited upon the hither shore, or 
buffeted the swelling flood of Jordan. At one time she would 
be in an ecstacy of bliss with the beautiful vision, and at anoth- 
er, would feel that " Jesus had left her to tread the dark val- 
ley alone, and that thus she could not go." At one such dark 
moment she requested prayer, and a brother, himself feeble 
and sorrowing, offered up a broken prayer, and the light came 
to her gaze. Again it left, and the poor agency of my words 
was blessed to the restoration of her faith. Once more, only» 
was the light withdrawn. Then her brother was gone, and 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 87 

she plead for some one to pray with her. No one was there 
to do so, and she made the request of me. For years I had 
not done that in public, but only in my heart and closet ; and 
had wondered whether if called to do so by some dying boy 
in a hospital, I could discharge the duty. But the dying re- 
quest was not to be refused, and taking her hands in my own, 
while bending over her, I asked the dear Father not to allow 
the shadoiv of death so to come between her and his blessed 
presence, for though we were sure He was with her, we pray- 
ed Him to withdraw the darkness, which came through weak- 
ness of the spirit, that she might, while crossing the dark 
river, find Him her staj'^ and staff, and might be permitted to 
see his face, and know Him even as she was known of Him. 
About midnight, she sank away to a quiet slumber, but 
upon awaking in the morning wept like a child, that her clay 
had not found the eternal sleej), and her spirit the endless 
morning. 

Monday, 14. 

Another week has passed, but upon lighter wings, for the 
wearing of alternate hope and despondency has, within the 
last few days, been succeeded by the joyous conviction that 
the crisis is past, and the invalid is slowly but surely convale- 
scing. 

Find my own health has suffered more than I had thought. 
Shall not dare venture South again till the warm months of 
the season are passed. In the mean time for medicine will 
take a trip to southern Wisconsin, where, in the pleasant 
homes of friends and whirl of happy meetings, health may be 
found for a second trip to Dixie. 

Have just heard two anecdotes, which I must jot down, be- 
fore forgotten. 

A little young soldier of this town, by name Breton, who 



88 HOSPITAL TENCILLINGS. 

ran away from home and into the army, came home on a fur- 
lough, and staid a week over his time. On starting back, his 
father took him by the hand and was about bidding him an 
affectionate farewell, with a bit of parental advice, when he 
cut short the matter by exclaiming : 

" Good bye father, be a good boy and take good care of 
yourself ! " and he was gone. Upon reporting to his captain 
for duty, the latter said : 

" I believe you've overstaid your time, havn't you ?" 

" Yes sir," was the prompt reply. 

" What do you think I ought to do about it ?" said the cap- 
tain, " Well I don't know, captain," was the reply, " unless you 
put me on double rations /" 

The second is told of a little neice of Miss O's. A brother 
of hers has too little girls, the very opposite in character. 
One is very amiable, quiet and gentle spoken, while the other 
is a self-willed little spitfire. Both attended a "love feast.'' 
Little angel took some of the bread and water, but spitfire 
wouldn't. 

" Why don't you take some of the bread and water, Adan- 
ine ? " whispered " gentle Annie." 

"jTaus, I aint a doin' to ! " she said, spitefully. 

When they reached home, their mother asked the little sin- 
ner the same question. 

" Taus, I didn't want to," was the vengeful reply. 

" But why didn't you want to, Adanine," persisted the 
mother. 

" Taus, I don't love everybody" was the confession. 

" Why don't you love everybody, who is it that you don't 
love," was the next query. 

" Well," was the emphatic reply, " I don't love de seccsh not 
de debble I " 

At another time her father had to punish her, and he asked 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 89 

" what was the reason slie couldn't be a good girl, why she 
was so naughty." 

" Taus — taus, I dit so tussin' mad," responded the little re- 
probate. 

" Cussing," why Adanine, who learned you to say that 
word ?" 

" Didn't anybody, I dess I know some tings don't anyhody 
learn me, 'thout its de dehhle ! " 

Think she will always be a firm believer in original sin. 



United States Hotel, Louisville, Kt., 
Thursday, Sept. 22, '64. 

Last Friday noon, saw me in the city of Chicago, with 
trunk checked for Michigan. Entered rooms of North Wes- 
tern Sanitary Commission, and made myself known to Mrs. 
M. A. Livermore, to whom I had previously sent letter of in- 
troduction, from an old and mutual friend. Learned for the 
first time that a reply had been sent within twenty-four hours 
after its reception, with fhe offer of a position in a hospital at 
Rome, Georgia. This communication was rapidly given, and 
closed with the inquiry : 

" Now, can you go ; can you start on Monday ? " 

Wednesday was preferred, and the result was that I re- 
turned to Harlem with the Rev. gentlemen who had accom- 
panied me, where kind, though new found friends assisted in 
the preparation. 

Yesterday, which was the day appointed, came to Chicago, 
and upon reporting myself in readiness for the trip, learned 
that General Sherman had issued an order forbidding any 
except soldiers going beyond Chattanooga; also that the 
hospital at Rome was soon to be broken up. However, as it 
was presumed a situation might be obtained in this city, Nash- 
16 



90 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

ville or Chattanooga, I was furnished with letters of introduc- 
tion to dignitaries of the first two cities, and took the night 
train for this city, via IndianapoHs. 

A beautifully golden evening, and just cool enough for 
comfort. An excellent car and nice seat all to myself, luxuries 
appreciated all the more, as I may, before many days, be riding 
in a box car, through a country from the bushes or heights of 
it^hich may whistle a bullet from an unseen foe. 

Kead two of the best letters in the world while watching 
the scenery and glorying in the triumphs of art over nature, 
as with the aid of a little fire and w^ater, we sped swiftly over 
a corner of Lake JMichigan, until the sun went to bed and the 
stars got up. 

Then placing shawl upon valise, reclining in a very grace- 
ful position, and laying handkerchief over face so that my 
open countenance, if it chanced to be such, should not be 
subject to the vulgar gaze of Northern mudsills nor the lofty 
scorn of Southern chivalry, I sought the acquaintance of 
Morpheus. He was not easily persuaded, however, and be- 
tween baby crying on one side and a J)olitical confab on the 
other, had only occasional glimpses of dreamland. The sun 
got up rather bright in the morning, but with a very red face, 
as if he were either ashamed of himself for sleejDing so late 
or was out of all patience at the " goings on " down at the 
antipodes, or perhaps finding them so much better than ours 
grew red in the face at thoughts of coming back to us. 
"Whichever it was could not determine ; but was certain it 
was not from any sympathy with the copperheads. Well, the 
sun and I got up about the same time — myself a little in 
advance, and both just in season to get a view of the suburbs 
of Indianapolis. 

The train arrived about six, would go at eight. Nearly 
two hours in which to hunt up an old friend. First inquired 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 91 

of omnibus drivers — no ticket agent to be found — then at near- 
est hotel for a certain Professor and Reverend. No one knew 
the residence of either. Landlords don't know, generally, 
when breakfast is ready and they can get seventy-five cents for 
a piece of tough beef, a cold potatoe and cup of muddy coffee. 
Called for a city directory, but only succeeded in finding the 
residence of the clergyman, which was a mile distant, and 
which might be a mile away from the friend I sought. So 
made the best of the matter, meekly ate an apology for a 
breakfast, meekly paid for it, and meekly requested a contra- 
band of war to carry my valise and show me the train. 
Thanked the former piece of property, seated ourself, took 
writing materials and soon had a note written and dispatched 
to the Post Office, assuring friend C. that if she would en- 
lighten the benighted understanding of the landlord, as to her 
whereabouts, she should be favored with a glimpse of the 
radiant face of a friend when next it passed that way, whether 
the time be a day, a week, a month or a year. 

Travelled through clouds of dust until about three this 
P. M. before reaching this city. 



Friday Eve, 23. 

According to instructions, immediately upon arrival, yester- 
day, proceeded to the office of Sanitary Commission. Pass 
into a hall. An open door upon either side. By one is 
posted this notice : — 

*• For sick or wounded soldiers, inquire here." 
To which place we direct a man who had come from near 
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, for a sick son who had been in 
Rome, Georgia. Turned to the other where several gentle- 
men were writing, and asked for Dr. Newbury. 

" Do you wish to see the Doctor himself.'^" was the query. 



92 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

" Yes, I have a letter of introduction." 

" I will take it to liim, and bring word whether he will see 

you." 

In a moment he was down with the request to walk up- 
stairs. Dr. N. met me quite cordially, offered a pretty army 
stool for a seat, and after finding out my purposes and desired 
destination, he said : 

" It will be best to telegraph the surgeon at Rome, and he 
can, if he chooses, ask a permit from General Sherman for 
you to come there, or if the hospital is broken up, to go else- 
where with the patients. Be assured," he added, " that no 
effort shall be spared, and your interests promptly attended 
to. But as our orders are quite positive I prefer before you 
go farther that everything shall be properly done, so that we 
shall feel justified in calling upon Government for your 
support and expenses. In the meantime we shall see that 
you have pleasant quarters at a hotel, where you had best 
make yourself as comfortable and contented as possible untU 
the matter is arranged." 

He then called a young gentleman to whom he gave orders 
to accompany me to this hotel. 

I was very grateful for this kind reception, but am certain 
that it was due to the influence of Mrs. Livermore, through 
her introductory letter. Had I come without it possibly my 
reception might have been similar to that of Mrs. Witten- 
meyer last week, from General Sherman. His order had 
been issued, but she had pushed her way forward some way, 
and appeared at his headquarters at Atlanta. He saw her 
approaching and called out imperatively : 

" Stop, madam — who are you — how did you get here ? " 

" I am Mrs. M., State Agent of Iowa and agent of Chris- 
tian Commission." 

" How dare you come," he angrily emphasized, '' how dare 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING3. 93 

tliev ht you come, after such positive orders as I have issued ? 
Go home, madam — take the first train back, and don't stop 
this side of Chattanooga ! " 

She sajs she never walked faster in her life than she did 
to get out of his presence. 



EVENINO. 

The young gentleman who accompanied and bespoke a 
pleasant room for me here, called this P. M. and accompanied 
me to Clay Hospital, " Branch C." It was M. J. Winder, 
"hospital visitor" of the Sanitary Commission. 

The two Misses Wells are the worthy j^residing geniuses 
of the hospital. Passed some three or four hours with the 
patients and found many interesting cases. Among which 
was that of a young soldier who, having been taken sick at 
some hospital farther south, had recovered sufficiently to start 
home on furlough, but upon arriving at this city, weak, weary 
and exhausted, he fell in the street and was taken to the 
Soldier's Home. Upon coming to, his mind wandered and 
memory was so weak he gave uncertain and contradictory 
statements with regard to himself, company and regiment. 
From this he was believed to be a deserter, and was put in the 
lock-up. Here Mr. Winder found him, when somewhat more 
rational, had him removed to the hospital, and had sent for 
his mother from Michigan, who has now had care of her son 
for some time. He is very talkative. 

" They won't let me talk half what I want to," said the 
sick boy, " and I thank you for visiting with me ; won't you 
come again in a day or two ? " he inquired. And he added 
witli emphasis : " Its done me a sight of good to visit with 
you — you're just the one to talk to us sick boys." 

He was loud in his praises of the hospital visitor. He 



94 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

is familiarly known as Henry. The look of his eyes, his 
nervous restlessness and the lack of sleep for several nights 
are unfavorable symptoms, still everybody seems to think he 
will recover. 

While passing round and speaking to the patients, I found 
one man who was able to sit up but suffering from scrofula 
and heart disease ; and upon inquiring what State he was from, 
learned that he was from Cattarangas County, New York. 
And furthermore that he was a member of the 154th, which 
I had seen when it was starting for the South, and that his 
captain was an old school acquaintance — Captain Cheney. It 
was C. R. Brown, of Machias. While talking with him of 
other fi'iends in the regiment, whose acquaintance I had made 
in school at Randolph, a young fellow approached and ex- 
claimed : 

" You from Randolph, New York ? " 

And upon receiving a reply in the affirmative, with the 
addition of " more recently," he exclaimed, as he extended 
his hand with an emphatic nod, 

" Wh}^, that's m?/ home ! " 

The action, manner and tone evinced the fact that he 
appreciated "home" as few beside soldiers can. And so it 
came to pass, that the rapid questions and answers revealed 
the fact that we had both been students at the same dear old 
Randolph Academy, and had each many of the same dear old 
friends. And I fancy we talked and felt as if we were the 
joint proprietors of all Randolph Academy — professors, teach- 
ers and students combined, and each was greatly rejoiced to 
meet the other partner in the concern. 

While we were talking the matron came up and asked if 
he had " found somebody he knew." 

" Why, yes," said he emphatically, " I've found an old 
friend." 



HOSPITAL PE^XILLINGS. 95 

• 

"I thought you were looking better," she responded. 

"Oh, yes," he replied, "I was nearly well before, and now 
this will cure me su7'e I " 

He was quite right about our being old friends, as the 
trifling fact of our having never met before was not the least 
in the way. And our relationship was very much nearer than 
between those two individuals, who upon meeting in a foreign 
land, ascertained the pleasing fact that the dog of the grand- 
father of the one had once run across the garden of the 
grandmother of the other. 

Tuesday, 27. 

The "Henry," mentioned under last date, was suddenly 
called in the night to "cross the lines," but not into the 
country of an enemy. 

In waiting for telegrams have passed some days at Uncle 
Sam's expense. Not a pleasing thought, but having a com- 
mission in my pocket authorizing me to take care of some of 
his sick boys, felt justified in so doing. 

Yesterday met Miss C. A. Buckel, M. D., agent of Miss 
Dix. She also, per advice of the latter, had given me a call 
to come this way, which missive I had not received. 

Rode over to the large new hospital at Jeffersonville, just 
across the river from Louisville, on the Indiana shore. 

I can have a situation there, but with her advice, and my 
own inclination, shall visit Nashville. 

Called this morning at office of Sanitary Commission, re- 
ceived permission of Dr. N. to go South, and a note from 
Mr. Thorne to Provost Marshal, who said a late order had 
requested the applicant for a pass to " apply in person." I 
went alone to headquarters and obtained the pass. 

I leave the " City-of-tlie-Falls " for the " City-of-the-Rocks " 
to-morrow. 



96 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Colonel Ham, Indiana State Agent, whom I have met at 
the table of this excellent hotel, informs me that he received 
a letter last eve from the last-named city, stating that Forrest's 
and Dick Taylor's forces had combined and were marcliing 
upon Nashville. If that is true there will be wounded men 
to care for, and if a battle I want to be " there to see." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 97 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Home of Sanitary Commission, 
Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 29, 1864. 

The evening previous to my departure from Louisville I 
received a call from the hospital visitor and another gentle- 
man, whom he introduced as Dr. Webster. I have since 
learned that he was sent out from Washington as chief of 
hospital inspectors, and is a brother of General Webster of 
Nashville, chief of Sherman's staff. 

Dr. W. laughingly observed that he had called to offer his 
protection on the morrow, but presumed I was aware the 
offer now-a-days implied the desire to receive protection as 
well, when a trip to Nashville was anticipated. 

The gentleman was informed that it would be a pleasure 
to bestow protection so far as a seat in the ladies' car was 
concerned, but that I should expect to be the recipient of the 
same should the train be attacked by guerillas. 

Upon arriving at the depot yesterday morning all were 
ordered to take satchels, baskets, bandboxes, &c., forward to 
be examined with the trunks. But upon offering the keys of 
my valise and trunk to the inspector, he said : 

" I guess you havn't any Government property you're tak- 
ing south to sell," you're a member of the Sanitary Commis- 
sion aren't you ? looked at my pass, put a Government stamp 
on each article, and let me go without farther ceremony. 

But all did not fare so well. The trunks of many were 
thoroughly searched ; and I heard one lady, who came into 
the car just before starting, say : 
17 



98 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

" They would persist in diving into the very bottom of my 
trunk !*' 

Nothing special occurred on the route, and the time passed 
quite pleasantly in conversation with Dr. W. and a lady 
teacher whom I had met in the school at Nashville. Among 
other things the doctor spoke of seeing one Sabbath morning 
an aged colored man on some steps at Nashville, engaged in 
reading. He approached the student, and found him in pos- 
session of a Latin Testament. And upon inquiring if he 
could read it, the man humbly said he could not read much, 
having never had a teacher. But he did read and translate 
two or three verses quite readily. He informed the doctor 
that he had taught the colored people all he could for twenty 
years. That whenever one of his schools was discovered and 
broken up he commenced again in some other part of the city. 

Arrived about seven last evening, and came immediately to 
home of Sanitary Commission, where doctor W. and wife are 
stopping. This is a pleasant place, on corner of Sunamer 
street and Capitol avenue. 

Found Judge Root and lady, with their Sanitary family, at 
tea ; and was not long in discovering that the table here is a 
place not only for the genial interchange of thought, and of 
jest and humor, the life of which is the judge himself, but also 
for the gathering of precious gems of knowledge, ranging 
from those of philosophical, geological and botanical science, 
to the latest news from the front, and the sayings and doings 
of our secesh neighbors. 

As instance of the latter, we are informed that the widow 
of ex-president Polk has been informed that she can purchase 
coal of Government on the same condition as other citizens of 
Nashville, — by taking the oath of allegiance. That she has 
subsequently tried to get it at other places, but failed. That 
at one time she remarked that her "husband had been Presi- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 99 

dent of the whole United States, and that she cannot divide 
her sympathies and give them to any one party." 

Saturday, October 1. 

As result of introductory letter to Judge R. and his influ- 
ence, had offer of situation in the diet kitchen of hospital No. 
1. This was accompanied, however, with the proviso that I 
must be able to say to this one, " cook so much of tliis so long, 
and this so long," and also with the word, that he " allowed 
no lady under his charge to visit patients in the sick wards." 
Offer respectfully declined. • 

Yesterday morning called on Miss Annie Bell, matron of 
hospital. No. 8. She is very favorably known by all surgeons 
throughout the city ; and possesses a really noble and inde- 
pendent nature. She was at Gettj^sburg, and a winter at 
Harper's Ferry. She accompanied me to call upon dignita- 
ries, and the result is a promise of a position for her cousin 
and myself in hospital No. 3, as soon as ladies' quarters can 
be fitted up, which are promised in about ten days. The sur- 
geon is doctor Ludlow. 

Yesterday P. M. had the pleasure of a ride about five 
miles out of the city, on the Gallatin Pike, to visit a field of 
cotton. We had the splendid team from head quarters, which 
consisted of four powerful black horses, and the only really 
fine-looking ambulance I ever saw. It had four seats, and 
the party consisted of five ladies. Doctor "Webster and the dri- 
ver. It was a delightful day, the air clear and balmy, and 
our steeds in fine spirits. We were obliged to cross on the 
rail-road bridge, the other being burned " to keep the feder- 
als back." 

We passed the camp of the 13th " regulars," the last pick- 
ets, and drove down a road lined a part of the way with tulip 
trees, oaks, sycamores and magnolias. 



100 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

We reached the cotton field, the driver sprang out, pulled 
away the fence, and the northern vandals were soon engaged 
in foraging each a handful of souvenirs. But the driver cau- 
tioned us through Doctor W. to make haste, and we found 
that he considered it quite a hazardous affair since leaving the 
pickets, three miles behind. There were country residences 
near by, and along the route, but they were violently seces- 
sion in princii3le, and from the house, the owner of the cotton 
might easily have reached us with a bullet while we were en- 
gaged in the confiscation. 

" He knows better than to do it, though," said the doctor. 
But Mrs. W. remarked that if her life was taken, it would 
matter very little with her afterward if he was punished for 
it, " It would not put her own head on her shoulders again 
and no other would fit them quite so well." 

And as we were all more or less inclined to take that phi- 
losophical view of the matter, and considering also that our 
four splendid black horses might be a desirable item in the 
mind of some hardened bushwacker, we decided not to tarry 
long at the cotton, and the grass did not grow very long un- 
der the hoofs of our horses, until we were safe inside the 
pickets. 

The cotton blossom more nearly resembles a white or 
cream-colored hollyhock than any other with which I am ac- 
quainted. It shuts at night, I am told, and does not re-open. 
There are small buds and large ones, blossoms in all stages, 
just formed bolls, and the ripe ones with the bursting cotton, 
all at the same time, and on the same shrub. The crop does 
not do so well in this latitude, this season, as usual. Indeed 
King Cotton rather disappointed me in his personal appear- 
ance, presenting rather a sickly and woe-begone look, That 
of his rival, wool, presents certainly a much more imposing 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 101 

aspect, particularly when the representative, like those fright- 
ful creatures at the north called Yankees, has horns. 

Tuesday, 4. 

Helped Mrs. W. make two yellow flags, out of flannel, for 
the hospital train running between this city and Louisville, as 
they dare not run now without, for fear of being fired into. 
Two trains were stopped and burned near Fountain Head, this 
side of Bowling Green. They contained refiigees who were 
robbed. 

An order was received last Sunday, from General Sher- 
man, to put this city in a " state of perfect defence." The 
probabilities of a battle here are a common topic of conversa- 
tion. Should th&re be one, northern people are little con- 
cerned as to the final result. 

Have made a visit to the Capitol in company with Mrs. 
Dr. W. At present, a New York regiment and six cannon 
are its protection. The lofty ceilings, spacious floors, broad 
flights of stairs and balustrades inside, and the whole exterior, 
with its gigantic columns, tower and graceful statuary are all 
of solid marble. 

The senate chamber is less imposing, and the adornments 
fewer and much plainer than in the hall of representatives. 
In the end of that portico fronting the river is the vault of 
the architect, James Strickland, placed there as the tablet in- 
forms us, by an act of the legislature. 

Visited the library and museum. The former seemed to 
me very large, but am told that it is not so considered. But 
Mrs. TV. was occupied, I believe, in company with the wise 
wizard of the place, in consulting sundry yellow and ponder- 
ous 

" Volumes of forgotten lore," 

to ascertain by what scientific name she might baptise a certain 
18 



102 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

shell and coral specimen she had picked up on Capitol hill, 
and which Doctor W. had declared " might have been turned 
over by the foot of Adam when walking with his children 
upon the beach, with the remark that he ' hadn't the slightest 
idea how old they were ! ' " 

Being just now in a condition to sympathize with that 
young lady who had just finished at a fashionable boarding 
school, and who was surprised that she had "ever fagged 
through it all," and also that it was " astonishing that one 
head could contain it all," shall give the weak little head a 
rest from reading much about the world, till it has seen more 
of it. 

There were several tattered flags in which I was much in- 
terested. One had been in the Mexican war, which was made 
and presented to the 1st Tennessee Inft. by the ladies of 
Nashville. Have been wondering how many of those same 
ladies now revile that flag, and prefer to know their loved 
ones are fighting under the banners of secessia. 

I saw also such heautiful specimens of Tennessee marble, 
than which there is no finer in the world. A species of the 
red is used in the trimmings of the Capitol at Washington. I 
saw iron ore from the Ural Mountains, copper from North Car- 
olina, tomahawks and axes made of stone, peace pipes and 
wampum taken from Indian graves, or their battle grounds. I 
saw a cast of Napoleon's head, the mummy of a man, and 
that of a sacred cat from Thebes, petrefied foam from the nat- 
ural bridge of Virginia, a leaf from the Charter oak, an ambro- 
type of Samuel Houston, the original commission of General 
Israel Putnam, a spear from^the farm of Osawatamie Brown, 
Continental money, the tooth of a mastadon, a horned toad, 
and a coat and hood of the skins of animals made and worn 
by Daniel Boone, of Kentucky. 

What a very orderly and scientific inventory ! Think I 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 103 

shall have to visit the Capitol once or twice more, and with 
paper and pencil, before I shall be at all satisfied. 



Saturday, 8. 

Visited the Penitentiary in company with a Miss I. H. 
Smith, from Quincy, Illinois, who has just been to Chattanoo- 
ga with three tons of supplies designed for Atlanta. She had 
telegraphed General Sherman for permission to accompany 
them the rest of the way, but he replied in a kind note accep- 
ting those, but directing that they be placed in the care of 
an agent who would bring them safely. I learn by her that 
he has lately written one of his officers, in reply to a similar 
request, " Send always a barrel of pork, in place of a woman! " 

The General is intensely complimentary. 

Found it would be impossible to visit the military prison 
without a pass, with which we had neglected to provide our- 
selves. Were obliged to wait some little time for some one 
to accompany us, and in the meantime two ladies and a gen- 
tleman from the north, made a welcome addition to our party. 

While waiting at the door, saw a party of about fifty But- 
ternuts marched up close to the door, two by two, by a cap- 
tain. They were halted and rations of bread and meat were 
dealt out, the first they had to eat in twenty-four hours. 
They were deserters, some from Forrest's forces. Saw a pa- 
per signed by two of them saying they were very anxious to be 
employed here by Government. They were marched away, 
and those wishing to go, will be sent north. 

" We have in that yard about three hundred bushwackera 
and guerrillas," said the communicative guard. 

" Ah, and what do you do with those ? " 

" Well, we just stretch their necks for them a little," said 
he, with a self-satisfied smile, and with a motion of the hand 



104 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

and neck as if in imagination he saw one in that very inter- 
esting situation. 

" Just as you did Mosely the other day," we said. 

" Yes, oh ! he was a splendid looking fellow, fine features, 
well formed, black hair and whiskers, and straight as an In- 
dian ! " 

This Mosely was a guerrilla, who used to lay in wait by 
roadsides and kill the drivers of stray Government teams, 
burn the wagons, sell the horses or mules, and pocket the 
proceeds. He was hung a few days since. 

There are now about one hundred and six in the Peniten- 
tiary proper, six or seven for life, and " the best men they 
have," and five or six are given the limit of the law short of 
that, which is twenty-one years. 

We passed into the prison yard, the door was barred behind 
us, and we made the round of the workshops. First we 
entered the rooms where the native cedar was made into little 
fanciful pails and cujds, in which the red cedar was dove-tailed 
into the white in wavy and curious patterns. I purchased 
one of these only about three inches in height. Various things 
for use such as pails, tubs, bureaus, tables, stands, large chests 
— nice for furs — ^and wardrobes are also manufactured from 
this beautiful red cedar. 

It seems so strange to look at the men and to know that 
they must work on in silence, hour after hour, day after day, 
and year after year with a bar upon their lips. Of course to 
a woman it seems such a terrible punishment to keep one's 
tongue still. Isn't it horrible ? I should think one's tongue 
would cleave to the roof of his mouth after a little. 

Then we went into the tobacco factory and saw " the 
weed," from the time when the leaves are rolled and tied, to 
the pressing of the same, and the baking, to that when it is 
turned out " ter-bac-ker," — a delicious cud for certain animals 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 105 

who are blessed with two feet, but which those with four never 
permit to pass their dainty lips. 

" How is it about the health of those who work here all 
the time?" was the query. 

" Good," the overseer replied emphatically. " I was but 
sixteen when I first engaged in the business — was slender and 
weakly, but in a year's time was strong and well." 

This does not prove, however, that he might not be just as 
well, if a carpenter or machinist, and his labor have been of 
some benefit to the world, instead of the reverse. Wanted 
to lower his self-respect a little by telling him so, but didn't. 

We saw also the narrow cells where they sleep. One cell 
only was occupied, and by a maniac. He was chained by the 
foot, and standing in the open door with hands behind him. 
We were cautioned not to go within a certain distance. His 
position indicated that his hands were folded or carefully 
crossed, but we found afterwards that he held a club in his 
right hand. He watched us in silence with lowering eyebrows 
and hanging head, apparently measuring the distance between 
himself and us, with his small, black, malignant eye. 

" Cannot I speak to him," inquired one of the ladies. 

" Yes, you can, but I wouldn't advise you to," said our 
attendant. " You'd likely be sorry for it if you do. He 
never speaks to any one unless spoken to, but that easily 
angers him." 

It seems that for years he was a captain on the Mississippi 
River, where he acted on the proverb that drowned men tell 
no tales with those whose purses he thought worth his care. 
He afterward became a highway robber on land. His term 
of fifteen years expired about a week since, and they have 
been trying to get him transferred to the Insane Asylum, 
but the officers of said institution object to receiving him 
on account of being made insane while here. He has been 



106 HOSPITAL PENCILLIls^GS. 

BO dangerous that lie has been chained constantly for four 
years. They dare not go near enough for him to get hold of 
one, and his food is pushed within his reach. Kindness they 
Bay, only makes him worse — treating those worst who show 
him favors. 

Monday. 10. 

Attended Union Church yesterday, in company with Dr. 
W. and wife. A very excellent and liberal discourse by Rev. 
Mr. Allen, from fourth verse of 3d Epistle of John, 
" Walk in the light, in the light of God." 

Called this morning on Mrs. James K. Polk to obtain some 
leaves and flowers for souvernirs of the j)lace, to arrange on 
paper for a Sanitary Fair. Received very cordially by Mrs. 
P., who accompanied me to the grounds and cut the leaves 
and blossoms for me herself She also presented a fine phot- 
ograph of the place, taken from Vine Street, and showing the 
tomb of the ex-president. 

Mrs. Polk has not entered society since the death of her 
husband. In person she is perhaps a trifle above the medium 
height, slender, with high forehead and delicate features, and 
bears marks of taste and refinement. Think she has passed 
through the ordeal of her former position w ith a true sense 
of its real worth in comparison with Christian duties and 
deeds of philanthropy. 

Wednesday, 12. 

By this date I should have been established in Hospital 
No. 3, but just at the last moment, orders have come to the 
surgeon to prepare for the breaking up of the hospital as 
soon as possible. As the arrangements were not completed 
for our reception, it was thought best not to do so for only the 
probable space of three or four weeks. Miss Bell has accom- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 107 

panied me to other hospit9,ls, but no immediate place offers 
itself, and I shall only wait until an answer to the telegram 
respecting a position at Jefferson Hospital is received. 

Guerrillas murdered five negro soldiers night before last 
between this city and Louisville, near Gallatin, and set one 
thousand cords of wood on fire. 

Last night three cars were burned near Bowling Green. 
Telegraph wires were cut. Previously there had been one 
thousand men sent to guard the road. Trains are almost 
daily fired into or run off the track. 

This morning visited wards in Hospital No. 8 with the 
associate of Miss B. Some interesting cases. And while 
passing one bed was reminded of a conversation which oc- 
curred with the occupant when in this city last s^^ring. He 
has now gone home. Upon inquiring his native State, after 
replying, he asked me the same question, and then said, 

" Massachusetts — oh ! that's an abolitionist State ! " 

" Yes," was the reply, " and I'm proud of the grand old 
hills, the free institutions and liberal sentiments of the Old 
Bay State." 

" Well, I'm glad I don't hail from there," said the candid 
but smiling Buckeye. 

"And I'm glad, if I was ever going to be laid up with this 
limb, that it happened before they sent niggers out to fight by 
the side of lyie. Didn't know, this was going to be a nigger 
war, else they'd never got me into it ! " 

The hearer jierceived he was in the gall of bitterness and 
the bonds of iniquity, told him so, and promised to call each 
day or two and devote an hour or so for his conversion. Did 
so subsequently, and found him always ready to converse 
pleasantly, but not a willing disciple. Am still deeply con- 
cerned for his future salvation. 

Yesterday morning Dr. Woodward and wife left for home. 



108 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

He was surgeon of 22d Illinois Volunteers. They liave been 
stopping here since my stay. One evening last week, while 
the inmates of the Sanitary Home were seated around the 
genial fire in the parlor, the conversation turned ujDon the 
magnanimity of the soldiers, which it seems is not confined 
to our Union boys. It turned into another channel afterward? 
and some incidents were related, not in exemplification of the 
magnanimous, but very interesting, nevertheless. 

The surgeon related that while near the battle-field of 
Perrysville — I think — one rainy afternoon, his son came to 
him with the word that two wounded soldiers were back of 
the hospital, near a swamp, who needed care, and whom, un- 
assisted, he could not get away. Dr. W. went there with 
stretcher and attendants and found that one of our men had a 
shoulder shattered, and his companion, who was a Rebel, had 
a- thigh in the same condition. The Union boy professed 
himself able to walk to the hospital, " but," said he, " I wasn't 
going to leave him, for I knew if I didn't stay and see that 
he was taken care of, he'd die to-night." He had somehow 
managed to take ofiT his own coat and spread it over the other. 
The Rebel was put on a litter and carried, while the other, 
after having his arm i3ut in a sling, walked to the hospital. 
Both had a limb taken off, and both died next day. 

He said also, that while going round in the evening to 
ascertain who were in most need of help, and who could wait 
till morning, he came to one man whose arm was nearly shot 
oflT. It was a Confederate. The doctor had scarcely com- 
menced the examination when the wounded man said : 

" Doctor, I can wait, but I wish you would see what you 
can do for that man who was brought in with me — he is worse 
than I am and needs you more than I do." 

" Which one is it," inquired the surgeon. 

" Oh ! it's one of your men — he lies there," he said. 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 



109 



« I'll take care of you first, I guess," was the reply. 
"No," he persisted, " if you'll just put a string round my 
arm, so I can hold it better, it'll do well enough till after you 
take care of that man, — he's pretty bad." 

" Well," said the doctor, " I'll take care of him first if you 
wish me to, but guess I'll give you a dose of morphine so you 
can sleep to-night, and in the morning yom- arm will have to 
come off." 

" Well," said the noble fellow^ " you needn't do anything 
for me till you've taken care of him'' 

Dr. W. did as requested ; and both recovered. 
The same physician told of one of our men who used to lie 
in his cot and read aloud from the Bible. One day he was 
passing the bed of one of the " Johnnies," when the latter 
said, 

" Doctor, what book is that thar Yank readin' out of?" 
" It's the Bible," said the surgeon. 

" Well, I don't know no thin' 'bout readin' myself, but if 
you've no objection, doctor, I'd like to lie over thar nex' to 
him." 

" Well," was the reply, " if the other boys are willing, I'll 
let you go there." 

No objection was made, he was moved and used to lie hour 
after hour with his face turned towards the reader listening 
and asking explanations ; and after about two weeks he died. 
Dr. W. also related a little incident which occurred on a 
march. They were passing by a farm-house, when the woman 
came out as General Paine was riding slowly by, and she 
called out in a querulous tone, " General — General ! '\ 
" Well, what's wanted," inquired the General. 
" General, I want you should put a guard round my well — 
your soldiers are going to drink it all dry, so I shan't have 
any water for my ftmiily." 
19 



110 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

The soldiers were heated and thirsty with the long march 
through the dust and broiling sun. 

"Won't you put a guard round it, General?" persisted the 
woman. 

'' Yes, I will," said the General emj^hatically. 

" Orderly— here ! " 

That officer came forward. 

" Orderly, put a guard round this woman's well, and don't 
you allow man, woman or child to come near it till every 
soldier has had all the water he ivants."" 

The same officer says that poor peoj^le often complain, and 
justly, that while a guard is set round the fine house and 
grounds of a rich neighbor, their own are over-run and pil- 
laged, illustrating the passage that '• to him that hath shall be 
given, and from him that hath not, shall be taken that which 
he hath." He says he knew of a place where three union sol- 
diers were sent to guard a house, who were never seen or 
heard of afterward. 

At Jackson a squad of soldiers were ordered to guard the 
residence of one, who, those soldiers were positive, was a rank 
secessionist. The house was burned down in the night, and 
the captain of the guard being questioned about the matter 
said he " guessed the lightning must have struck it." The 
house, strange to tell! was burned to the negroes quarters 
which were saved. It is perhaps needless to add, that if the 
lightning did strike it, there was no thunder shower to ac- 
company it. 

During the conversation young Eddy Jones related the fol- 
lowing as occurring on the train at Louisville : 

The cars were about starting, when an officer came round 
to inspect the boxes, satchels and valises. Upon coming to 
one man who was sitting just back of the narrator, he found that 
he had a pair of pistols in the bottom of an old-faded carpet 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. Ill 

sack. This man was dressed in scant and short pants, old- 
fashioned coat, and steeple-crowned straw hat, and looking 
otherwise like a green country boy. Thinking to have some 
sport with the " greeny " he called out, sternly : " guard 
come here and put some irons on this man." " Here, hold on," 
said greeny, deliberately, and he took some papers from his 
pocket, which informed the official that he was ordering irons 
for the disguised colonel of the o8th Illinois. 

Dr. W. saw also a man at Louisville, who was ordered to 
hand over the key of his satchel to the baggage inspector. 

" There is nothing in the satchel except wearing apparel," 
persisted the owner emphatically. 

" I must open it," said the officer, " its altogether too heavy ! " 

Upon doing this, were found, carefully done up in wearing 
apparel, five or six revolvers and as many boxes of ammuni- 
tion, together with $300. The guard was called, he was 
marched off to the military prison, while he was informed 
that his property was confiscated, including the money. 

Professor Hosford, of Hudson, Ohio, was present, and re- 
lated the following, after the conversation had turned upon 
the condition of the freedmen. He had a conversation with 
a negro at Chattanooga, who told him of his liberation from 
slavery. Said he : 

" Before the Yankees come here, missus used to tell us 
about other niggers leaving their masters, and axed what we 
thought of it, and we told her that we'd never leave missus, 
oh ! no, we thought too much of missus to do dat. But when 
de Federals was a coming into de place, missus got some bask- 
ets, and packages, and said we must carry um, an' we'd all 
leave. But we 'fused to go, an' missus, she had to go 'lone." 

" Ah," said the Pj-ofessor to him, " what did you tell her that 
you never would leave her, if you meant to, all the time ?" 

" I 'tink it was right," replied the negro, emphatically. 



112 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

" An' I can prove it 'cordin' ter scripter. For doiigli I can't 
read, I've hearn 'em read dis :" ' Agree wid dine adwersary 
quicJcly while dou art in de ivay wid him, les' he takes you to 
de officers, and dey cas' you into prison I " 

Another negro at the same place told the Professor that he 
" Allays prayed an' prayed for de time to come when de col- 
ored people could worship God under dere own vine and fig- 
tree, when de}^ could stay in prayer-meetin' after nine o'clock 
at night, if deys a mind to, wid none to molest nor make 'em 
afraid. An' I'se allays believed de time would come, dough 
afterward I gets most discouraged wid de waitin', an' I never 
see any signs of my vine an' fig-tree a comin' till I seed Hook- 
ers' men a comin' ober de top o'Lookout Mountain ! " 

He had about the same idea of the working of God through 
direct agencies as a gunner of whom we have heard. He was 
behind his gun while the shells were bursting around him, 
when the chaplain approached and asked if he felt that Prov- 
idence was supporting him. 

" No," he replied, " I am supported by the 29 th " New 
Jersey ! " 
Friday, 14. 

The negroes had a dance down stairs last night. I wrote 
several invitations for Miss Lu and Narcissus to Mr. so and 
so, dictated in this style, with variations: 

"Miss Lu, wishes the pleasure of Mr. Baker's company 
round here, this evening, to a dance. Please come early. 

Miss Lu Palmer.' 

All went down stairs for a little time, to see the per- 
formance. Eddy J. proposed that I ask the " musicianers," 
as aunt Polly calls them, for a " plantation break-down." He 
was commissioned to make the request foi» me, but the white- 
gloved and perfumed exquisite, assured us that he 

" Wouldn't 'tink of such a 'ting, heah,'' and he gave me 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 113 

such a commiserating and be-?^^y-nant glance and smile, as 
much as to sa}^ : " You jjoor white child, how I j^ity you for 
not knowin' what is expected ob dis 'spectable company ob 
colored pussons." 

Before leaving this place must jot down something of my 
two contraband pupils. 

" Well, Peter, what are you going to give us for breakfast," 
queried Judge R , quizzically, of the little negro who wait- 
ed at table the first evening of my arrival. 

It was in a lull of the conversation, and just before the 
company rose from the table, so all eyes were turned naturally 
towards the boy, who bore the attack bravely and returned 
the compliment in full from his own, large, black orbs. He 
w^as well used to the quizzing from the merry-hearted Judge, 
and the pleased expression of his eyes and the exhibition of a 
double-row of the whitest ivory attested both, as he murmur- 
ed, " I don't know." 

Whereupon the Judge proceeded to name over a most 
bounteous and unheard of list of edibles, ending with that of 
" baked white fish." " And he sure Peter, that j^ou remove 
every scale and pick every hone out of the fish before it is 
baked." 

" Yes, sir," responded Peter. 

" You'll attend to it, will you Peter ? pick every bone out, 
before it is baked," said he, in a tone in which perfect au- 
thority and confidence blended. 

" Yes, sir," lowly and submissively replied Peter, but with 
a merry twinkle of his eyes. 

The next occasion in which Peter was brought particularly 
to my notice, was a day or two after, when, as I was passing 
along the lower hall, I came ujwn him and the other waiter 
at table, a girl of fourteen, named Narcissus, both of whom 
were trying to spell out the reading on a bottle of pepper 
sauce. 
20 



114 HOSPITAL PENCILLTNGS. 

" Can you read ? " was the query. 

" No, leastwise only a little, ivish I could'' added Narcissus, 
heartily. And Peter said " I can read some, but I don't have 
nobody now, what'll listen to my readin.' " 

" Do you have time to read ?" 

'' Yes, we'se a mighty heap o'time evenings, after the dishes 
is done." 

" I don't know that I shall be here over three days," I said, 
" but possibly a week or so, and while here, will hear you 
read each evening. What time shall I come to the dining- 
room ? " 

'' Right after tea," they said, " right after the folks has 
gone up stairs." 

So that evening, I heard them read, unthinkingly, before 
the dishes were washed. But as I was leaving the room, 
" Miss Lu Palmer," the elder sister of Narcissus, reminded 
me of the better way, by saying : 

" Miss P , if I were you I wouldn't hear these yere 

lessons, till they'd washed up their dishes. They'd hurry 
if they know'd they'd have to wait till afterward, and you know 
dese yere colored folks don't like to work none too well, no 
how." 

I confessed that she was right about the work being done 
first ; and thereafter it was dispatched with a will each eve- 
ning, the " sooner to get at the lessons," as they said. 

They have manifested the same spirit ever since, and learn 
rapidly. Narcissus said one evening, " I don't know Miss — 
that I've got my lesson, but its all the time I could get, I've 
been a learnin' of it ; and last night after you'd done gone 
hearing us read, I studied the lesson right smart, and then 
dreamed about it all night." 

And one evening while Peter was battling like a hero with 
the, to him, formidable task of spelling the word " occupy." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 115 

I could but help wishing some of those believers in the uni- 
versal stupidity and carelessness of the race, miglit have been 
listeners. Something very like the following they might 
have heard ! 

The word " occupy," is pronounced. 

Peter hesitates a little, then with the voice and look of one 
who determined to make one good, bold attempt with liis best 
judgement, and trust to luck, says 0-k oc q-u-i cu p-i py, oc- 
cupy." 

'^ Oh, no ; don't you remember what other letter I told you, 
has the sound of k ? " 

Peter don't remember, so many new things he has been 
told. " Well, now, think how you can spell " oc," without 
saying o-k." 

No enlightenment dawns on Peter's mind, though he makes 
two or three bold attempts, to show his good will. 

" Well, Peter, spell cow." 

He does so correctly. 

" Now don't you see that we could spell that in this way, 
k-o-w ? " 

Peter sees that, as the word is spelled both ways for him 
and pronounced the same. It is then applied to the syllable 
" oc," and so much is accomplished. Peter has acquired a 
mastery, has obtained a new idea, and he takes a long breath 
for he has scarcely breathed during the time, and his eyes 
look as if proudly conscious that he had mounted another 
round on the ladder of knowledge. The word is again jDro- 
nounced. The first syllable is spelled correctly, but " q-u-i p-i," 
is the only reasonable way the sinking Peter thinks the word 
can be finished. 

Teacher pronounced the syllable ''cu," phiinly, saying: 
''q-u-i spells qui, not cu, spell cu^ 

" K-u cu," responds hopefuL 



116 HOSPITAL PENXILLINGS. 

" K you say, what other letter has the sound of k. ?" 

He " don't know." 

" How did you just spell oc ? " 

" 0-k ? " in a questioning tone, says the pupil. 

" Oh, no, you've forgotten, you've so much to learn :" and 
the explanation is gone over again, and the sound of c for k 
requested for the second syllable, also. 

He looks out of all patience at his own dulness, but heroi- 
cally returns to the charge. This time he gets both syllables 
right, but ends as before with p-i. 

" Now, Peter, you've worked like a major, and its all right 
except one little letter i. Now put on your thinking cap, and 
hunt up some letter to use instead of z." 

Peter " reckons a," will answer. 

He is advised to spell lady, and does so correctly. " Now 
could not you have spelled that 1-a-d-i and pronounced it 
lady?" 

He " reckons so," and is advised to use the same substitute 
in the other word. It is at last accomplished ; and after sun- 
dry mistakes in each syllable, during which he exclaims, 
* Now don't tell me, I ivill have that," I'll get it right this time 
shore,'' the whole word is sj^elled correctly, and re-spelled re- 
peatedly during the evening, and he enthusiastically exclaims : 

"Well, that's the toughest word shore I'se ever a holt on, 
an' I'll never forget it long 's / live." 

Peter's history is not uninteresting. Here it is : " My mas- 
ter's name was Jim Brazier, an' I lived eight miles from Tul- 
lahoma. My mother was sickly a long time, and missus 
wouldn't let her stop workin' no how. An' one day wen» 
she's so weak, she let a big pitcher fall ont' de floor and brokt 
it, and master sent her to de whipj^in'-house, an' she died that 
night. I slept wid' her, an' she told me wen she comed to 
bed, dat she t'ought if she went to sleep she'd never wake. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 117 

An' in de mornin' wen I waked, she was stone dead. Dey 
neber said anyting to me 'bout what killed her, dey knowed 
berry well dat I knowed de reason. Atter de war brokt out, 
dey telled me dat I mustn't go near the Yankees, for dat dey 
" had horns^' jist as if I'd not sense 'nough to know better nor 
dot I An' dey tole me I must keep 'way from dem, else dey'd 
cut off my ears and hang me on a tree. But arter dey'd 
whipped me and hung me up by my thumbs, for bitin' missus, 
when she had me down on de floor an' Avas poundin me 'cause 
1 didn't sweep clean, I runned away." 

" I'd been wid master three times wen he'd been to camp 
to sell api^les and things to the Yankees, an' so I knowed 
whar to go. So one night I tuk one o' marster's bosses an' 
put a bridle on him, an' rode him most to camp, so near, I 
I could hear de pickets ; den I fixed up de bridle, arter I got 
off, an' set him off on a right smart trot toward home, an' hid 
in de bushes. Den I waited till mornin', which corned pretty 
soon, an' I tole de picket I wanted to come in camp. He let 
me in, an' I'se roun' two or three days, wen Dr. Woodward 
said he'd see to the keer o' me, an' he has ever since. He 
brought me here. He's allays been right good to me, an 
never gin me a cross word." 

I found, upon conversing with Dr. W., that this was a truth- 
ful account, as far as could be ascertained. One morning, 
soon after. Dr. W. announced to Peter that his former master 
had just been hanged as a guerrila. The account was in the 
morning paper. 

" Glad of it," said Peter, emphatically ; " I'd a ben glad ef 
dat ar' had a happened afore. He made me carry letters to 
the rebels tellin' 'em all 'bout whar de Yankees was, an' a 
pretendin' all de time to be a good Unioner. Hanging good 
^novgh for him." 

This last, I also learned, from the doctor was the truth, for 



118 HOSPITAL PEN'CILLIXGS. 

Peter had guided our peojile to the hiding phice of these clan- 
destine letters, which were captured. 

Sunday, 16. 

Yesterday called at Rail-road hospital, also at hospital No. 8. 
At the latter place found one young man from P^ast Tennessee 
whose father was shot when Lincoln was elected, and his 
house burned. One brother was killed at Gettysburg, and of 
the rest of the family eleven in number, a mother and brothers, 
he can obtain no trace. He is a collegiate graduate. 

Found in the person of another patient, Emery Owen, of 
Fairfield, Ohio, a Good Templar brother. 

To-day, upon returning from forenoon service, found the 
expected telegram. I take the early morning train for 
Louisville. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 119 



CHAPTER 

Jeffersox Hospital, 
Jeffersonville, Ixd., October 18, 1864. 

This large, new hospital is located on a bend of the Ohio 
river, just across from Louisville. 

It is built on the plan of the " Pavilion," like the Chestnut 
Hill hospital, of Philadelphia. The sick wards are of one 
story, twenty -four in number, and radiate from a circular cover- 
ed corridor, like the spokes of a wheel. This circular corri- 
dor is half a mile in extent, and fifteen feet in width, enclos- 
ed upon the sides, and provided with windows and doors. 
Within the circle are the buildings of the executive de23art- 
ment, rooms of surgeons, full and light diet kitchens, dis- 
pensary, dead-house, post-office, printing-office and chapel. 
Crossing this circle and leading to these central buildings are 
two covered corridors which cross each other in the centre at 
right angles. 

Each ward is one hundred and fifty feet in length by twen- 
ty-two in width, and contains fifty-nine beds for patients. To 
the rear of each ward, is attached one small room for ward- 
master, another for clothing, besides a bath-room and closet. 
In front of each ward, is attached a little dining-room and 
pantry. In the latter place the diet is dealt out for the pa- 
tients. This is brought hot from the kitchens, in covered tin 
cans, in a little hand-cart on wheels, upon which is marked the 
number of the ward. 

Thus one might live here for months and not go out from 
under cover, be very hard at work, and walk several miles 



120 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

each day. That cleanUness is essential to health, seems to be 
a prominent idea, and the wards and corridors undergo a 
scrubbing twice a week, and mopping as often besides, which 
gives a neat and wholesome air throughout. Upon the arrival 
of jDatients they are disrobed of their dusty if not filthy cloth- 
ing, it is rolled up, a check given for it and it is packed away 
in the baggage-room, together with their arms, if any. They 
are provided with clean hospital clothing and a clean bed, 
which is changed each week. 

The laundry is a building separate, and some distance from 
the hospital, upon the immediate bank of the river. This is 
supplied with some twenty or thirty large, bare-armed water 
Deities, who probably swam over from the emerald isle. 

One of the wards contains the large dining-hall for the 
ward-masters, nurses and guards, a smaller one for the stew- 
ards' mess, and opposite, another for the ladies' mess. Above 
these are sleeping-rooms, two of which are occupied by the 
lady nurses. It is in contemplation to supply each of the 
twenty-four wards with one of these last-named dignitaries. 
A few are without, some to their professed grief and vexation 
of spirit. 

Saturday, 22. 

The afternoon of my arrival, attended funeral service in 
ward 23, of Private Isaiah Lusby, Co. I. 9th Ohio Cavalry. 
Chaplain Fitch, of the regular service, and former tutor to 
Secretary Stanton, spoke well and briefly from the words, 
" As much as lieth in you live peaceably with all men." Lan- 
guage implied that a man might burn and rob property for 
you and it would not lie in you to live peaceably with him 
and that a good and just Government might have rebellious 
subjects. 

We have no stove in our sleeping or dining-rooms, and 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 121 

really suffer with cold. We occupy the single, iron, army 
bedsteads with hard husk beds ; but these discomforts are 
doubly counterbalanced by the pleasure of ministering to the 
comfort of the sick boys. 

This P. M. rode over to Clay Hospital, branch C, expec- 
ting* to take the place of the matron Miss Wells, while she is 
absent on a thirty days furlough. But as she was going 
ostensibly to take an invalid soldier to his home in Michigan, 
and as all of the IVIichigan boys are going home to vote, some 
twenty from that hospital, the surgeon says that twenty can 
take care of one, and her services are needed in the wards. 
Returned, and am assigned to duty to Ward 1. 

One lady came here a few days since, who staid only two 
days. She was " not used to any such fare, such cold rooms, 
and couldn't work for any such pay." There are others here 
who do not work for the " pay," but for something higher 
and better. 

Tuesday, 25. 

Have been learning of my duties, and getting acquainted 
with patients. On Sunday eve had singing in my ward. 
Mrs. Rhodes of the gangrene ward, Mr. Wheeler, and some 
four or five of the convalescents sang " Homeward Bound," 
" Oh, Sing to me of Heaven," " Rest for the Weary," " Shin- 
ing Shore," and " Rock of Ages," to the evident and warmly- 
expressed gratification of all. Think we shall try to inaugur- 
ate the practice in other wards, it seems to do the boys so 
much good. 

On Monday, one was taken from my ward to the gangrene 
tents. His arm was in a bad condition from impure vaccina- 
tion, and now the gangrene has appeared. It is said to be 
worse than a wound to heal. Three of the worst patients 
21 



122 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

complained of wounds smelling so badly that it kept them 
nauseated. Procured the last couple of handkerchiefs from 
sanitary stores, and a piece of old muslin which I hemmed, 
and saturated all with cologne, which had kindly been do- 
nated for the purpose, by " Gale Brothers," of Chicago. Two 
received them with simply thanks and smiles, but the third, a 
Pennsylvanian exclaimed, enthusiastically : "Oh ! my gracious, 
now if that ain't nice. You couldn't please me better than to 
bring that there, it 'ill kill all tlie smell sure, of my arm. I al- 
lays was sich a feller for cologne and hair ile and all sorts of 
scentin' stuff, when I was to home ! " 

At present there are thirty-seven patients in my ward, 
twenty-three of whom are wounded. There is but one just 
now who it is thought will not recover. He was shot through 
the upper portion of left lung, has a bad cough, no appetite 
and is emaciated. Plis parents live only about eight miles 
distant, on the Kentucky side. We call him Willie. 

There are no others who cannot sit up, if onlyfor a short time, 
while the majority are able to do so considerable, and to walk 
about. Still, were almost any of them at a northern home, 
and transferred into " our boy," or " my husband," he would 
enlist the care and sympathy of a neighborhood ; and justly 
so, unless the kindness should have the effect it did on our 
dining-room boy, who says he was never sick until since he 
went home, after being in the service three years, when he 
'* ate himself sick." 

Upon first entering the ward, after being assigned to duty, 
found one man who was bitter against red tape, nurses and 
surgeons in general, and his own in particular. Said he : 
" Didn't have anything fit to eat, guessed the nurses got it 
all, the doctor was as m.ean as he could be, and hadn't been 
near him for two days." 

I found that he was excited and half-crazed with the chills. 



HOSriTAL PENCILLINGS. 123 

and hope deferred. He said he had been in the service three 
years, that Government is owing him $232, but could not get 
his descriptive roll to draw it, as his captain was lying at the 
point of death. His wife was needing money, and he wanted to 
get that which by a recent law is due him, without descriptive 
rolf, viz : $32, and he also wanted a transfer to Cincinnati, 
Ohio, but he " Didn't expect to get anything, Government 
had got the service out of him, and that was all it cared about, 
nobody cares for me, I'm only a private.'' 

Soothed him by promising all I could do, excused remiss- 
ness in others, from over care and work, and promised to in- 
tercede for a transfer to Ohio, and his paj^ The next mor- 
ning, while dealing out diet in the little pantry, his plate was 
sent back full. Upon going to him, to find out the trouble, as 
the food was such as I had ordered at his request, light, warm 
corn-bread, butter, eggs, fruit and coffee, found him sitting in 
a sullen mood by the stove, and would neither have that nor 
anything else, had " eaten all he wanted." The surgeon 
came in, soon after, and told him he had put his name down 
for a transfer to Ohio. I learn that he has been so near de- 
ranged, that one night, not long since, he jumped out of the 
wmdow, ran to Ward 2, and reported that they abused him so 
he could not stay. Poor fellow, home is the medicine for him. 

Tuesday, November 1. 

Visited gangrene tents to find four patients from my ward, 
who say they wish to be considered patients of Ward 1, and 
shall expect to be looked after, occasionally, by the lady ma- 
tron of said ward. I never saw or scarcely imagined such 
suffering as the poor fellows undergo from the application of 
bromine, and do not wonder they have christened the place 
" purgatory." 

It will be necessary to imbibe a little more of the heroic, 



124 HOSPITAL TENCILLINGS. 

before I can be of much helji during an operation. The 
red and swollen elbow of the arm which may yet fall a vic- 
tim to impure vaccination, w^as resting in my hand, while the 
nurse proceeded to take off the oakum w^hich had been satur- 
ated w^ith bromine, and then to pick oif from the side of the 
raw wound, the burnt pieces of flesh, with a pair of j^incers. 
I could have seen this done if it had not hurt anybody, but 
when the sick man began to cry for mercy and his elbow 
quivered in my palm, everything began to grow strangely 
dark, and knowing from past experience, that they might 
have another patient to care for, in a moment more, I drop- 
ped the arm into the hand of Mrs. R. and mentally calling 
upon the heroism of all the braves I had ever heard, reeled 
to the tent opening, pulled back the curtain, and in a moment 
things grew lighter. All laughed at me, even to the patient ; 
but it isn't to be exjiected that a Yankee school-ma'am can be 
transformed into a dissecting surgeon in a minute, guess it 
will take about a fortnight. 

At the request of patients, had a sing in the tents that eve. 
On Sunday attended funeral service of a soldier by the name 
of Rogers. In the evening, attended church service in town. 

Evening. 

Just after tea, the following letter was sent to me from one 
of the patients, addressed to " Lady Matron, Ward 1." 

Miss : I was informed by a gentleman last eve. that you re- 
ported me as being drunk and boisterous. Is it possible that a 
lady of your qualifications, capable of adorning the best of 
society, can so far forget herself, as to report one for such an 
offence, without even admonishing him of the wrong he has 
committed, and to what it will lead, if followed up ? Perhaps 
that one has a lovely wife, the companion of his childhood, 
and now linked to him by closer ties, with all her future hap- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 125 

piness depending on the character of her husband ? Would 
you knowingly mar her happiness without even raising a 
warning voice to the one to whom she has risked her all ? 
Oh ! I cannot believe that you would be so cruel to one you 
never saw, or to one you have seen. There must be a mis- 
take somewhere, hence you will excuse me for taking this 
mode of asking you, not in my behalf, but in the behalf of 
those friends that are near and dear to me. Please inform 
me of the truth of the matter. 

Yours, in haste, 
{Signed) ." 

Have written the following reply which will be lain upon 
my little stand, in the morning, where the other letters are 
placed, and where he will find it, though there are so few 
called by their right names here, tliat I havn't the least idea 
who he is : 

" Mr. , Dear Sir, I received a note from you last eve, 

in which you say you were informed by a gentleman that on 
Sunday evening, I rej^orted you at head-quarters for drunk- 
enness and boisterous conduct. 

It is all a mistake. I have reported no one, neither have 
caused any one to be reported. It would be necessary to 
know the person l)y name, before he could be so reported ; 
and the only one I have even suspected of having drank too 
much, in my ward, is one whose name I do not know. That 
person may or may not be yourself; but it has not, by me 
been so reported. If it was done by any one, probably some 
man has done it, who like Adam, was not noble enough to 
take any part of the responsibility upon himself, but like him 
could say : 

' The ivoman that was given to be with us, she did it ? ' 
But Sir, you do not deny the fact of being in that condition ; 
22 



126 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

and perha2:)S the one who reported you, if indeed you have 
been reported, which I doubt, considered it a duty, and it 
might have been. 

You say I ought first to have raised a warning voice to 
you for the sake of that wife. Let me do this now. You 
are still sensitive — still careful of your reputation for the sake 
of that ' dear wife.' Let me beseech you as a friend to ab- 
stain entirely and at once from the use of liquor in whatever 
form. Look not upon the red of the wine-cup. Be a strong, 
noble man — strong to overcome the temptation, nobly bat- 
tling against it, that if you conquer you may be ' greater 
than he who taketh a city.' I am a member of the Order of 
Good Templars, — therefore the more interested for you. If 
at any time you wish any advice or sympathy in my power 
to give, while battling against this sin, do not hesitate to speak 
or write to me. In conclusion, after beseeching you not to 
entertain the idea that a soldier's life necessarily calls for 
liquors, I will quote those beautiful lines for you of Dr. Hol- 
land's, on the subject of Temptation : 

' God loves not sin, nor I, 
But ia the throng of eA'ils which assail us, 
There are none which yield their strength 

To Virtue's struggling arm, with such munificent reward of power 
As great Temptations. We may win by toil, endurance ; 
Saintly fortitude by pain ; by sickness, patience ; 
Faith and trust by fear : but the great stimulus which spurs to life 
And crowds to generous development. 
Each chastened power and passion of the soul, 
Is the Temptation of the soul to sin, 
Besisted and reconquered, evermore' 

Yours for reformation, 

{Signed) ." 

Wednesday, 16. 

On Saturday evening a printed order was sent to each of 



HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 127 

the wards, that the " surgeons thereof must send in the diet 
lists each morning, in their own hand-writing, as it was feared 
in some instances the lady nurses were allowed to make them 
out." 

The next morning the ward surgeon copied the one I had 
prepared and sent it in his own hand-writing. I am making 
out " Morning Reports," also of number of patients — sick or 
wounded — from what hospitals, &c. Had just finished one 
on Monday eve when seven new patients arrived. Made out 
new one, when the surgeon told me to copy his signature and 
sign it, which I did. Yesterday morning Dr. C. made out 
the diet list, and put two of the worst patients on full diet. 
Finally, after convincing him of the fact, he asked me to sit 
down and he wrote while I dictated, thus complying with the 
letter of the order, while the spirit was best carried out. 

Several wounded men who are obliged to lie in bed all the 
time, have been for some time sadly in want of hair matrasses. 
There are a plenty in the store-room, but they have refused 
the request of the ward master and nurse, even with the order 
of the surgeon. They say they are keeping them against the 
arrival of other patients. But four of my boys were suffering 
so much for them I obtained the order from the surgeon, went 
to the store-room and left the order, and a request that I might 
be allowed to send down my own mattrass — which one of the 
elder ladies had managed to obtain for four of us — in case we 
could not get those at the store-room, to the surgeon-in-charge 
Dr. Goldsmith. The clerk would not let them go, without 
first seeing him, but in about two hours the clerk came over to 
give the ward-master a piece of his mind for letting a woman 
interfere in the matter. But he was reminded that the trial 
had been made by himself to no purpose, and I didn't care 
how he felt about it when I saw the smiling faces and heard 
the warm expressions of the poor sufferers, when they were 
moved on their nice, soft beds. 



128 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

Kov. 17, IN "Ward 1. 

I steal a few moments to write, while surrounded by pa- 
tients who are walking, talking, asking questions, etc., which 
certainly does not have a beneficial effect upon composition. 

We had, this morning, every bed full — thirty-nine sick and 
twenty wounded. But since then have had a fresh arrival of 
several hundred jDatients at the hospital ; consequently those 
who have been detailed for nurses or attendants in my ward 
must give up their beds and sleep in tents. This is all right 
— I am glad to have the ward filled up again. During the 
furlough to vote we had but seventeen patients, and now have 
but three, who are too sick to sit up a part of the time at 
least. But there are some four or five others whose wounds 
oblige them to lie in bed. Willie's appetite is better and we 
hope he is really getting well. 

Beside duties previously mentioned I have been engaged in 
others. I have charge of the diet — assist each meal in dealing 
it out. I have covered crutches, ripped up arm slings, washed 
and made them over, gone to commissary with order from 
doctor for material for pads for wounded or amputated limbs, 
and manufactured the same. I petition, and thus commence 
the transfer or furlough of one or the pay of another. I 
write letters for my patients, read or sing for them, visit or 
play checkers with them, occasionally, to make them think 
they are at home and forget they are sick. Have once, through 
the kindness of the one detailed as baker, been allowed to 
make some cake as a treat, in which the patients of Ward 2 
and the gangrene tents participated. We have a sing in the 
wards about twice each week. The convalescents are invited 
from adjoining wards and we have quite a crowd and pleasant 
time. Every ward is eager for its sing. I have also bought 
some cheap prints, put on moss frames, arranged a wreath of 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 129 

autumn leaves on white paper, and have tried to have some- 
thing on a little stand, which should represent or bring to 
mind a cabinet, to make them think of home. In short, have 
tried to make my ward look as Miss B. expressed it, " as if 
there was a woman in it." 

The surgeon, ward-master and nurses treat me with the 
greatest respect and consideration, as well as the patients, and 
I am certain the latter appreciate the little I am able to do 
for them. 

But the bugle has just blown for the carts to start for the 
kitchen — they will soon return — mine first, and I must hasten 
to the little pantry to deal out the supper for the sick and 
w^ounded boys. 

Saturday Eve, 19. 

My writing progresses slowly of late and is often interrupted, 
for I am very busy. I would like to note down the duties 
and incidents of one day if time permitted, but can only select 
a portion. 

Day before yesterday was gladdened by a call from Rev. 
H. M. Miller, Agent of Universalist Army Mission and his 
travelling brother. Rev. Gilman, Michigan Agent. I regret 
that he cannot be allowed to preach in this hospital. This 
narrowness of relij^ious thoue^ht reminds me of the early his- 
tory of an own father, long since sleeping in a western wild- 
wood, who when a young man was repeatedly denounced from 
the pulpit of a Baptist divine, who cautioned his hearers to 
beware of the fascinations of that Methodist fanatic, who was 
setting the people crazy with his preaching. Am wondering 
how many years it will be before people can worship God 
according to the dictates of their own consciences, with none 
to molest. How many before Universalist papers can be given 
out as well as Methodist ones to sick men who prefer them, 



130 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

instead of being carefully collected and torn up or burned by 
those who think they are doing God service. AYhat a pity 
that so few who fight for civil liberty know so little of relig- 
ious freedom. But such is humanity — boastful of God-given 
rights, freedom and equality, while in blissful ignorance of 
their own manacles. 

We are expecting a Thanksgiving dinner at the hospital 
next Thursday, for the setting on foot of which we are in- 
debted to the efforts of our kind Chaplain Fitch. But as so 
many citizens in Jeffersonville and Louisville are not any too 
loyal, feel somewhat dubious about the turkeys, chickens and 
pies for two thousand mouths. Certain it is that the boys 
would a2:)preciate a good dinner, as they have had rather short 
rations of late, and there has been some just grumbling by 
the full diet patients. And yet it is in most things a model 
hospital, but must be very difficult to supply so large a moving 
population. 

Often, I see the time, when if I had a box of sanitary 
goods, the patients could be made more comfortable. It might 
be different for one to understand why this should be needed 
in a hospital of such resources as this, and will note a, few 
instances. 

At one time I found a man in the gangrene tents who had 
not had a clean shirt since he had a hand amputated five days 
before. The garment was sj)otted and stiff with blood of 
course, and he had repeatedly asked for one, but had been 
told clothes were issued but once a week. Had I a box con- 
taining such an article he should not have waited an hour before 
having^ one ; as it was he did wait a week. The ward-mas- 
ter could have drawn one by obtaining an order from the 
doctor. 

Two men in my ward having wounded shoulders could get 
but one sleeve on, while if I could have obtained those with 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 131 

open sleeves, tied with tape, it would have been more com- 
fortable for them, besides 2')resenting- a better appearance when 
sitting up. Two, at another time, could think of nothing they 
could eat, except toast and canned peaches or other canned 
fruit; but although I obtained an order from the sui'geon 
immediately, I could not obtain the fruit, as it was not in the 
sanitary stores for a week afterward. 

Other instances in which I could have made good use of a 
box from an Aid Society have occurred several times, and to- 
day when a man needed a pair of woolen socks. We have 
been informed for the past two weeks that it was of no use 
to make out a requisition for them, as they have none to issue. 
Some three pairs for the most needy have been given me by 
a lady nurse recently from the North — a contribution from 
an Aid Society. For a time also, we were destitute of hand- 
kerchiefs and now no ginger wine can be jirocured. Some- 
times a poor boy thinks if he only had a little butter which 
came from the North, and was not so rancid as what we have 
here, he could eat something. 

A couple of gentlemen have just come in with a note-book, 
and we have been singing for the invalids. It is getting some- 
w^hat late to be in the ward — about eight, and I must close 
this rambling memoranda for this time. 

MOXDAT. 21. 

Yesterday witnessed a Sunday morning inspection for the 
first time in our ward. The bugle sounded, the ward-master 
took his jDosition by the open door, each patient who was able 
to sit up took his place by the side of his bed, and the nurses 
and attendants ranged themselves upon each side near the door. 
When the surgeons appeared, at the word of " Attention ! " 
from the ward-master, each man rose to his feet who was sit- 
ting but able to stand, and the Inspectors marched swiftly 



132 HOSPITAL TENCILLINGS. 

through the ward to the bath-room and back through the 
ward, pausing only to compliment the ward-master upon the 
"usual fine ap23earance of "Ward 1." 

The corps of inspectors varies on different mornings, but 
this time we were honored by the presence of the surgeon-in- 
charge, Dr. M. Goldsmith, the executive officer, the officer of 
the day and our own ward surgeon. The first sported the 
gold leaf of a major, the officer of the day the green sash, and 
all the gilt stripes and buttons of the medical department, and 
our surgeon the U. S. upon the shoulder. I was uncertain 
about what should be my own position, having thought nothing 
about it. I was reading to my sickest man, who was lying in 
bed, and rose to my feet also to receive our guests but sat 
down before they returned from the bath-room. Was hon- 
ored by a lofty bow from two or three of the dignitaries. 
Determined to know whether I ought to rise or not before 
next inspection day and referred the matter to the surgeon, 
who said : 

" It is the soldiers who are expected to rise and you are not 
a soldier, are you ? " 

That settled the matter, the dignified matron could here- 
after sit in the presence of her betters. 

Wrote four letters to-day for sick men and have commenced 
the transfer jDapers of Frank N. Button to Detroit, Michigan. 
He is a young boy — has been here five months, and is a quiet, 
patient sufferer. His left limb is paralyzed from a wound in 
the hip, and I fear will always be useless. He has not stood 
on his feet in that time except as he is held up. I have written 
for a friend of his to come for him. A sing in Ward 1 
to-night. 

Eridat, 25. 

Well, our Thanks ojivinfr dinner was a success. Nearlv 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 133 

three hundred turkeys and chickens suffered death for the 
good of their country. When those, and the five hundred 
pies were cooked and placed on the tables in the large, full- 
diet kitchen the night before, I mentally confessed, while 
viewing them through the window from the corridor, that 
were I one of a regiment of hungry soldiers just from ' the 
front, I might possibly stir up a mutiny to make a raid on the 
kitchen and capture them. A portion of the dinner was the 
contribution of the loyal citizens, and about one-third was fur- 
nished from the hospital fund. 

The chaplain sent for me as usual to attend funeral service. 
To-day it was in Ward 15, and of four soldiers. One was 
that of George W. Odell, 28th Michigan. He was but seven- 
teen, in a new regiment and only out about four weeks. He 
had an escort of eight young boys of his company who 
appeared in uniform, with white gloves and reversed arms. 
We ladies followed next to the coffins in the procession to the 
ambulance. The latter conveys them to the soldiers' cemetery. 

It is with us only " a funeral service " of " one, two, three 
or four," as the case may be, " in " such a " ward." The 
forward coffin bears the stars and stripes. A short Episcopal 
service is held, and we follow to the ambulance. But we 
know, though fast learning to ponder less upon it, that some- 
where is one more vacant chair^ and missing voice and footstep, 
for every death which occurs here, and sorrowing hearts, to 
whom a few words of condolence and a lock of hair, sent by 
some matron, or the official blank properly filled out by the 
chaplain, comes almost as a mockery in place of the dear boy, 
or husband, or father, who left them with such vigorous health 
and bearing but a little time ago. 

" And yet, and yet, wc cannot forget 
That many brave boys must fall." 
23 



134 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

But we comfort ourselves with the thought that though 

" Their swords do rust, and their steeds are dust, 
Their souls are with the saints, we trust." 

MoxDAY Eve, 28. 

Saturday eve had singing in my ward. Benches were car- 
ried in. Chaplain's orderly, Mr. Bullard, brought in and 
distributed as usual the little army hymn books. Patients 
were invited in from other wards ; we had quite a crowd, and 
a pleasant time. Our ward surgeon was also present, with 
the usual singers, viz.. Corporal Patten, Steward Holt, and 
Burroughs, Wheeler, Dupont, Artillery, Perry, Payne, and 
ladies Dixon, Lawson, Hardy, Rhodes and Sturgis. 

Yesterday was very busy all day in ward, with new arrival 
of patients from Nashville. Did not get time to attend ser- 
vice. Have also been very busy to-day with same. Have 
written out applications for transfer, filled out medical descrip- 
tive lists, except the diagnosis, and have written out orders for 
money to be paid to the surgeon for patients unable to get to 
headquarters. We ladies signed the pay-roll yesterday morn- 
ing. The clerk had by mistake got my first name wrong and 
had to sign it the same. Easy way of changing one's name. 

We have one singular individual who goes by the title of 
" Colonel." He came with the transfer of patients from 
Nashville, which consigned ten to our ward, two weeks ago 
last Wednesday. 

He was brought in on the shelf wliich was taken out of the 
ambulance and placed hastily upon the bed, while the nurses 
hurried out for more. They had lain his head below the 
pillow instead of on it, and seeing him lie thus without raising 
it, though he ajjjDcared to make some ineffectual attempts to 
do so, I went to him to assist, and asked if he could not raise 
liimself higher and on the pillow. He said no, that his limbs 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 135 

were all paralyzed except one arm. He raised liis head and 
I put the pillow under it, and when the patients were all 
brought in had the nurses lift the man up higher in the bed. 
Soon after, when accompanying the surgeon, while he was 
making out the cards to hang in the little tin case at the head 
of each bed, the patient informed him in a confidential tone 
that he wanted his name entered as a private, as the boys were 
always jealous of an officer and expecting him to put on airs. 
But that he was colonel of an Illinois regiment. Also that 
he had been robbed of his satchel, clothing, regimentals and 
$3700 by the ward-master of Ward 1, Hospital No. 8, of 
Nashville. 

He is looked upon by the surgeon and others either as an 
imposter who is trying to " play off," as they style it, or as 
crazed from the effects of fever. I have preferred to give the 
latter more charitable verdict till I know the opposite, and in 
Bpite of some opposition have treated him accordingly. His 
appetite has been perfectly ravenous, and beside supplying 
him with the rations of two or three men each meal I have 
bought him apples and cake to give between the meals, with 
money given for that purpose by his brother, who has been 
down to visit him. I was at first fearful to give him so much 
and did not until he cried and begged for it, and I found it 
did not seem to hurt him. Three men's rations for the day, 
lately are nothing, he wants and gets about six. 

After he had been in the ward several days and been liftei 
about by the nurses, as though helpless as a babe, it was con- 
fidently told me by the ward-master, chief nurse and others? 
that it was their belief his paralysis was mere pretence. He 
had been teasing me to intercede for him to get a furlougl > 
and the next time I saw him he repeated the request, when I 
informed him that no furloughs were given to such as were 
not able to walk to an ambulance or step into a car, and tha 



136 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

as soon as he was able to walk about, I would try to get a 
furlough for .him. That I wished him to get up and be 
dressed that afternoon, and sit up a while, and do so each day, 
and try to use his limbs and perhaps he might get the use of 
them. Told him that I would come in the ward in about an 
hour and bring some work to sit awhile, and hoped to find him 
sitting in the rocking-chair. Went at the time and found him 
sitting in it and looking rather foolish, and I fancied then, as 
from the first, that his eyes looked as if he had been imposing 
upon our credulity, but preferred to give him the benefit of 
the doubt and think him half crazed. He then paid some 
silly comjjliments about ladies' society and wished me to sit 
near enough so that he might rest his feet on my chair — 
" they were weak yet." Asked him if he thought he could 
raise them, and found that he had walked from his bed to the 
chair. There were many others near and who heard the 
request, and after some hesitation I preferred treating him 
like a sick child, and turned the chair so that he could jDut his 
feet upon the side rounds. The next day he sat up again at 
my request, and upon the next, when entering the ward, found 
the paralyzed limbs performing a sJmffie to accompany a tune 
he was humming. I expressed my satisfaction that he was 
improving so rapidly and prophesied a furlough. I was half 
temj^ted to prophecy instead a return to the front, which 
would no doubt have taken all the strength away, and beside 
I really thought his mind was not right and perhaps a visit 
home might restore him. 

I had obtained the consent of the doctor to put his name 
down in the next furloughs which were granted, when last 
Saturday he became angry with the nurse who had ordered 
him to use the spittoon instead of floor, and ran away to head- 
quarters. Said he wouldn't stay there any longer and wanted 
to be sent to another ward. While I was away he was trans- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 137 

ferred to "Ward 6. I visited him there yesterday, and found 
as I had expected he would be, as soon as recovered from his 
anger, very repentant, and sorrowful that he M'as there, saying 
childishly, " No other ward will ever seem so like home — 
there's no lady here, but whenever I wake up I fancy I hear 
your step bringing me some apples. Won't you ask the doctor 
if I can come back? " I promised to do so, for the poor fellow 
was shedding tears, but the doctor says he ought to stay there 
for being so foolish. 

Friday Eve, December 2. 

Have this eve parted with Frank — the patient mentioned 
under date of November 21. His mother and a gentleman 
both came for him, but unknown to the other. Their expres- 
sions of gratitude at parting, which seemed extravagant, have 
done me good. I am hearing too many blessings now-a-days 
from sick and dying men to be in doubt any longer whether 
or not I am doing good. 

Yesterday felt very sad that one of the patients who 
desired to get a transfer to Mound City, Iowa, near his home, 
was instead sent to Madison, Indiana. Had I known of the 
intention before the name was sent to headquarters, or had 
the surgeon not forgotten about the transfer through the mul- 
tiplicity of his duties, it would not have been. This was one 
trial, but the worst was the transfer of the " colonel " at the 
same time. It was too bad. I petitioned the doctor of Ward 
6 in vain. Have written his brother where to find him, and 
supplied the "colonel" with paper and an envelope addressed 
to myself, and he has promised to write to what ward he is 
taken, of which I shall inform his brother. I still think him 
half crazed from the effects of fever. 

Last Wednesday eve occurred the very pleasant little inci- 
dent in my ward of the presentation of a gold-headed cane 
24 



138 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

and gold pen from the }Datients to our ward surgeon — Dr. J. 
M. Chapman. A nice little speech was made by our worthy 
Mr. Bayne, of Philadelphia, and a very happy impromptu 
reply from the doctor. 

Friday, Dec. 9. 

The first snow of the season. "Winter has really come to 
the Ohio valley. 

Much public excitement in Louisville. Men are being con- 
scripted, and horses impressed. Several thousand soldiers 
have just been sent there, as they anticipate a cavalry raid 
from the rebels. Hood is threatening Nashville. He says 
he " is ordered either to go into Nashville, or to " a cer- 
tain very warm place. Our boys think he will get into the 
latter place first. 

One night last week, a man in an adjoining room had the 
nightmare and woke us all up three times. At the last, he 
was taken to the guard-house. The truth was he was intoxi- 
cated, and it was also the third offence. He was sent to the 
front next day, as is usual. But he was not, as was laugh- 
ingly reported, put in the guard-house and sent to the front 
for having the nightmare. 

Yesterday was at work most of the day and evening on 
evergreen wreaths to trim the ward. Christmas is coming ! 
I have plenty of help from the ward-master, chief nurse and 
convalescents. How kind they all are. I receive nothing in 
my ward from the surgeon down, but the greatest respect and 
consideration. Some of the ladies can get no assistance, but 
those in our ward are ready at all times to help. 

Friday, 16. 

The first death in my ward, since my coming, occurred last 
night. It was that of Robert Burnett, of Kentucky. On 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 139 

Sunday morning, over a week since, I found him lying in bed 
and that he had not been out to breakfiist, as he had done the 
two days previous, since entering the ward. 

Upon conversing with him he told me he was going to die. 
I saw that he was excited and thought he was nervous and 
tried to quiet him. But he was sure, he said, that he should 
die, " he understood why I did not think so, and appreciated 
what I said, but he knew he was going to die, " and asked if I 
would stay by him whenever I could, and he begged for a 
promise that I would be by him and " watch his face when he 
died." These were his exact words, and though I did not 
think he was dangerous and told him so, yet he would not be 
pacified till I promised if he died at any hour when we were 
allowed in the ward, or if at any other, and he was conscious 
and would send for me, I would be with him. He was also 
concerned for the future, for he was not a Christian, he said. 
I read for him from the Bible, sang for him, and the chaplain's 
orderly came and prayed with him. He professed afterward 
to think himself prepared to die, and he gradually grew worse 
each day until he died. I remained with him until late last 
evening, but he was unconscious else I should have remained 
until his death. He died about twelve. I had written to his 
wife the first day, but the mails are interrupted by guerrilas. 
He has two brother-in-laws here, who have started home v/ith 
his body, xit the funeral service we sang the appropriate 
hymn, 

" Oh ! watch my dying face, 
Wlien I am called to die." 

Wednesday, 21. 

Transfers and furloughs are the order of the da}'. Some 
twenty-five hundred have been transferred from Nashville to 
this hospital, this month. From fifty to two, three or four 
hundred are transferred from here at one time, to hospitals 



140 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

farther north. As we hear that those are pretty well filled, 
it seems just the time to give as many sick furloughs as possi- 
ble, thus clearing the hospitals for those unable to go home. 
I will give a sketch of one who has just gone home on a sick 
furlough. 

His name is King, and his home is in Beattyville, Ken- 
tucky. He came here from the hospital at Nashville, about 
six weeks since. He had suffered from extreme exposure 
and hard marches which had broken him down and induced 
fever. Gradually, slowly the coaxed appetite returned, the 
mind recovered its tone, for he had sometimes fancied himself 
a major, at another he had met me in the morning, with an 
anxious, puzzled expression and inquired if I had seen that 
man to whom he had given his money. " No, I had not." For 
some moments I fancied that some unscrupulous person had 
been taking advantage of his illness and recent arrival, and 
had inveigled him into an unwise consignment of money, par- 
ticularly as he told me the man had said he kept a safe for 
keeping soldiers' money. 

But upon further conversation, in which he averred that 
" the box of money had been sent to him, and part was in 
gold," his delusion was manifest. But unlike some, he was 
easily made to understand that fact, and like a hero he strove 
against such phantasms. About three weeks since, he re- 
ceived a letter from his wife, which he brought me one mor- 
ning to read. 

It was difficult to decipher, even for a Yankee schoolma'am, 
from the peculiarly original style of orthography and of 
punctuation ; but Yankee ingenuity triumphed, and revealed 
a volume of suffering. The pages were eloquent with star 
vation, affection and loyalty. 

" Come home dear Dick," was the burden of the letter, " or 
we shall starve. I have but the milk of the one cow for my- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 141 

self and the four little ones to live on. And the cow gives 
but the half-gallon a day. The guerrilas have been in here 
and robbed the union folks. You tell me to go to Mrs. H. if 
I need help. She has made friends with the rebs to save her 
property, and I'll starve before I'll ask her for help." 

Though I started out immediately on a scouting expedition, 
in search of something available to meet the case, I almost 
envied one of the other lady nurses, who, had received $60, 
but a little time before, entrusted to her for the soldiers 
from an aid society. I would not ask her to assist me, for she 
would have need of the money in her own ward, but the gen- 
erous Chaplain Fitch had called me " daughter," times enough 
to encourage a demand upon his generosity, at least I would 
read him the letter and have him converse with the man 
whose manners and words impressed me with a belief in his 
honesty. The chaplain came, heard the story and letter, and 
placed a '* V " in my hand at starting, to send the starving, 
patriotic woman. It was sent not confiscated. Whether re- 
ceived or not, I cannot at present say, but hope to know in a 
few days. 

About the same time a furlough was requested for Mr. King, 
The time went slowly by, at last the furlough came. The 
poor fellow had no overcoat, ho haversack, no money, having 
lost these articles when taken sick during a forced march. 
By a late order of the war department, the absence of his 
descriptive roll, for which I had long before written to his 
captain in vain, prevented his drawing any clothing. Flan- 
nel I had previously obtained for him from the sanitary com- 
mission. But their stores contained no other needed articles 
of clothing. It was stinging cold, and he must go warmly 
clothed. The ward surgeon sent the man over to tell his 
plain story to the executive officers. But stringent orders 
must be obeyed, and he came back empty handed. I went 



142 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

next to Miss Buckel, then to the chaplain, and after some de- 
lay the man returned with an overcoat. The ward-master 
captured somewhere a pair of shoes, and a haversack of white 
drilling, into which he put four days' rations of bread, meat, 
sugar and coiFee. 

Now where was the four dollars to come from, which he 
would need the last part of his journey to pay stage fare ? So 
far as my own private purse was concerned, I had received 
just that amount at the last pay day, and had scarcely any 
beside to last for the next three months. I had the idea — I 
would write a note explanatory of the case and of my belief 
in the worthiness of the man, and state the principal object of 
his going home that of getting his starving family out of 
rebeldom. I would address the note to a friend of the Sani- 
tary Commission at Louisville in particular, and to all generous, 
loyal people in general. I told him if he lacked friends while 
on the route or got into trouble, if there was a loyal person 
to be seen, especially a Sanitary Agent, to present the note, 
it might do him some good, and w^ould certainly do no harm 
unless he might fall among rebels. 

He started, and at night he returned word : " Tell Miss P. 
that the order she gave me did me a hea'p of good. Tell 
her it got me a nice pair of woollen mittens, a great long 
piece of tobacco, four dollars in money, and ■ a note from Mr. 
Scott to a man, where I'll be to-night, to give me a good 
supper and see me started on my way in the morning. And 
more and better than all, he has given me a note to the 
captain in the nearest regiment, who -will help me get my 
family away." 

So my little note seemed likelj'- to be an " open sesame " 
to him everywhere. Wasn't I glad ? Didn't that pay for 
getting up at an early morning reveille, standing on an icy 
floor by gas-light and handling dishes which are frozen to- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 143 

gether, while dealing out the diet? Of course it did! And 
this is not a solitary instance of my reward either. The wan- 
derer has promised to write to me ; and when he returns, if 
not before, shall know something more of his journey. 

Saturday, 24. 

The second death in the ward. It was that of a young, 
noble-looking man — Prevo, of the 40th Indiana. He died of 
a gunshot wound, the ball entering the lungs. He was bat- 
tling with the grim monster all day yesterday, and thought 
himself at one time on a forced march through the country of 
an enemy, and at another in the heat of battle, when he would 
cheer on the soldiers. A lock of hair and a few words of 
condolence will go to one more mourning family in place of 
the dear, noble boy. 

Great preparations are being made for Christmas to-mor- 
row ; thus death and feasting go hand in hand in this strange 
world of ours. 

Another died last Sunday in Ward 23, who had been for a 
long time in this ward. He shed tears when he was trans- 
ferred, and I interceded to have him remain, but there are 
wards to which an order obliges patients to be removed when 
suffering from chronic diarrhea or lung diseases, and he was 
one of the former. But at his request I visited him, and after 
his death, which came suddenly, procured a lock of his hair 
from the dead-house and sent it to his father. 

Christmas Evening. 

Our dinner was truly a success. It was given by the 
Sanitary Commission principally, and a portion from the hos- 
pital fund. Much less stir was made about it, and one soldier 
expressed the general feeling, who said he " enjoyed the 
Christmas dinner the most, for there wasn't so much style 



144 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

about it." Very excellent oyster soup for the light diet was 
given each time. Twenty-one hundred pies were issued for 
dinner, seventy-one cans of oysters, with eighteen hundred 
pounds of beef a la mode, also four barrels of pickles. 

But this must have seemed so like a mockery to one mourn- 
ing wife who is here. Sergeant Don A. Clark, a very worthy 
man and Christian, who. Chaplain Fitch says, " has suffered 
more than any other two men ever in this hospital," died just 
after midnight. He belonged in my ward, but when I came 
here he had been sent out to the gangrene tents. The bail 
had passed through the limb a little distance above the ankle 
but had injured no bone. It was simply a flesh wound, and 
little trouble was anticipated in the healing. But after some- 
time his blood was ascertained to be in a poor condition, as 
indicated by an eruption upon the face. This is considered 
a bad omen when a wound has become inoculated with 
gangrene. 

He came back to the ward once, for a visit, on crutches. 
He was hopeful for "the surgeon had told him he would soon 
be well enough to go to his own ward," and boys " said he, I 
shall be back home with you in a few days." 

The wound has several times been free from gangrene, but 
just as he was anticipating a return to the ward it would 
return. 

Thus did he suffer with hope deferred and the cruel burn- 
ino-s of bromine, as could only a noble, patient christian, till 
from two little wounds the size of a hickory nut, it extended to 
nearly the whole lower limb. It was shocking to see the 
the cruel ravages of the gangrene. 

Then it ate off an artery, and twice he came near dying 
with hemorrhage. Then it was hoped he would rally so that 
they dare amputate the limb. His wife had been all the time 
writino- to him for permission to come and care for him, but 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 145 

he had been hopeful of going to her, and the expense was an 
item. But he was at this time prevailed upon to giye his 
consent, and I wrote to her just what we hoped and feared* 
That she must expect to find a sufferer, but if she could come 
with nerve and moral courage enough to hide her feelings in 
his presence, and smooth his passage to the better land, we 
should be glad to have her come, and the expense should be 
nothing during her stay. 

She came about three weeks since, and has proved herself 
equal to the task. His mind became very weak, and otfce 
when I carried him some currant shrub, he cried like a sick 
child alfe he said, " God bless you." I went in last evening to 
see him for the last time. He had forgotten almost every one 
but his wife, and as I took his hand he appeared not to recog 
nize me, even after I had given my name, biit as I mentioned 
my ward, he said earnestly, and with tears j^nd a tender child- 
ish voice, " Oh, yes, I know the lady of Ward 1. I never can 
forget her, she has done a great deal for me." 

Such is my reward. Gold, without it, is a,s nothing in com- 
parison. 

Friday, 30. 

Most of the wards are now radiant with evergreen,, tissue 
paper and pictures. I am content that mine should, rank third 
or fourth in its adornings, rather than negleot the weightier 
matter of attending to the sick men — of who^n I had quite a 
number last week requiring much care. The last death, men- 
tioned under date of the 24th, was the second only in the 
ward since my entrance — a period of over two months, and 
the fifth since being in the ch;;irge of the present surgeon, 
which is eight months. But the mortality in the hospital is 
increasing very much in consequence of war's grim visage 
approaching nearer to us. A week ago last Sunday there 
25 



146 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

were eleven dead bodies in the dead-house, and fourteen deaths 
occurred in three days. 

Last evening I was edified by the testimony of a loyal 
Kentucky woman who is visiting her wounded son in one of 
the wards. She said: — 

"* Well, I'se never in a free State afore, but I've been very 
much gratified to see how our soldier boys is took keer of. 
Talk about the riches o' Kaintuchy — I say the riches o' the 
North. I wish every one o' the rebels in Kaintucky could 
see what I've seen here." And here the old lady, with her 
good motherly face surrounded by the full border of her cap? 
and the forefinger of the right hand brought down with three 
or four emphatic taps into the left palm, forcibly reminded 
me of Mrs. Partington, as she concluded her observations 
thus : '' They'd just be like a pea fowl when it drops its tail 
feathers to the ground, — and the^-'d never cry ' Yankee ' any 
more." 

Have lately been the recipient of what I presume was in- 
tended by the writer to constitute the first of a series of love 
letters addressed to " Mr. E. J. Powers, Esq." I had ad- 
dressed a note of inquiry relative to a boy who had died in 
my ward, to one whose name he gave, inquiring for his sister, 
signing only last name with initials of first. The letter, with- 
out telling me a word of what I wished to know about the 
whereabouts of the dead boy's sister, contained the following 
delectable bit of composition : — 
" Mr. E. J. Pow ERs, 

Dear Sir, — Please excuse me for answering you likewise. 
I must confess that I was infinitely pleased for you to write 
to me and inform me of the mishap. (The death.) 

Soldiering must be a dreary life, altho' I have never expe- 
rienced it of corse because I am not a masculine, but woo to 
me if I were. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 147 

I have nothing more to say at present, but by the way if 
you have no objections I will compose for you a little piece of 
poetry. 

" think not this a hapy 
world for it is ought 
but a world of care 
and trouble. 

remember thou art 
but a mere vision 
yet we think not so 
For our body seems like 
if we could overcome 
every thing but ! Ah ! it 
is all in vain." 

Signed ." 



"fe 



Only to think what an amount of poetical talent will waste 
its " sweetness on the desert air," unless the author is discov- 
ered by some appreciative editor! 

This is only excelled in point of orthography and punctua- 
tion by the following Rebel love letters which were sent from 
a captured post-office in Virginia, by As't. Adj. Gen. Dana to 
his sister in Rockford, Illmois, and wliich 1 copy verbatim el 
literatim. 

REBEL LOVE LETTERS. 

"Pettigrew Hospital, N. C. 
May 27tu 64. 

Dear Miss I take 

the pleasure 
" of writing you a few lines which will inform you that I am 
well as to health tho I had the sad misfortune of getting 
wounded on the 12 th of this mouth tho I aint very bad 



148 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

wounded I think that I will be able to go to my Regment in 
the corse of a week or less time Miss I dont feel my self 
Capable of addressing a young lady that I essteem as high as 
I do you tho I will do the best that I can you must excuse bad 
writing and bad spelling for I am a bad hand to write or to 
spell which you will see that from this letter tho I am in hops 
that you wont take no insineration at bad spelt words it is 
only ben about one month sense I Saw you but it seems as if 
it had ben twelve month for there is no young lady that I 
have ever saw in my life tho that is Saying agreat deal for 
m}^ self tho I am in hops that you will excuse my boldness 
for it is my fait I gineraly think that aman on such accasion 
as that ourt to be perminent in such bisseness as that for I" 
all ways thought that aman ourt not to jest with a young Lady 
on such accasion well I will close my letter for it aint verry 
interresting. 

William N. Hunt. 
iff you think anufF of my letter to write to me Direct to Co 
H 26th Ga Regt in care of Capt H H Smith." 

There's self-abasement and constancy for you, for though 
he seems to have found his " fait," confesses that his " letter 
aint verry interresting," but believes that " aman ourt to be 
perminent in such bisseness, and not jest with a young Lady 
on such acasion." Here is another equally racy : 

" Camp Gregg, Va. February 16, 1863 

Dear Miss Kitty I feel ashamed of attempting to write to 
you after refusing to answer your letters, but I hope that you 
will not think any thing of it as you may well know I have 
seen a great deal of trouble this last year. I suppose you 
heard of the death of my two brothers, and I have 'been very 
unwell the greatest part of last year, but I humbly ask par- 



HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 149 

don for not writing, and hope that you will not refuse to grant 
it to one that esteems you as high as I do. I hope that the 
time will come soon ; when I shall return home again that I 
may once more see your smiling face and hear your winning 
voice again, oh, that I was once more a free man that I could 
go and come when I pleased, I hope that the war will soon 
come to a close for I am tired of being a soldier, I tell you 
that I have seen a hard time since I left home, I have marched 
night and day through rain and snow not only that but I have 
suffered hunger and thurst. My dear friend I Hope that I 
may get home safe again, I have only written to you one time 
since, I have received three letters from you, in which you 
answered mine very satisfactory, but owing to the misfortunes 
that befel me I was not able to fulfil my expectations and not 
only that after I considered over the matter I thought best to 
wait until after the. war, I want to hear from you very bad, 
and to hear what you think of the matter, my mind have not 
changed in the least, and I hope that you stick to your prom- 
ise. Give my best respects to your mother and all inquiring 
friends, and reserve a full portion for yourself. I want you 
to write where your post-office is, I expect that you have en- 
tirely forgotten me, but I hope not, there is only two ways 
that any one can get a furlough here, one is to get sick, and 
the other is to get married, therefore, I do not expect to get 
one for one reason no one wont have me, and the other is I 
can't get sick. 

Dear Miss Kitty I would give half of this world to see you 
and the other half too if they belonged to me for there is 
nothing on the earth that I prize so high and so dear as I do 
you, you must excuse bad writing and mistakes. 
I remain your affectionate lover, 

Samuel D. McKlode. 

26 ' 



150 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 

This letter embodies quite a history. It seems the write 
after " refusing to answer her letters," wishes her to forgive 
him on account of his " losing two of his brothers," " suffer- 
ing hunger and thurst," and not " being very well himself." 
And then she had " answered his very satisfactory," but ow- 
ing to misfortune which befel him, has not been able to fulfil 
his expectations, and thinks it better to " wait till after the 
war." But he " hasn't changed his mind," oh ! no, although 
he wants a furlough " so bad," laments that he can neither 
get sick, nor marry. Oh, the artfulness of man ! Of course 
she W'Ould have forgiven him, after telling her that he would 
make her a present of one half of the world when he saw her. 
Here is another. 

Spotssylvaxia Court House, Va. May 21, '64. 

Miss Amanda E. Mastin. 

I seat my self this morning to an swer your kind leter 
whitch was dated May the 1, and caim to hand may the 20 
it fown mee in fine helth and excilent spirits whitch I hop 
when this few lines Reches yoar sweet smiles tha may find 
you in percession of the saim kind of belesans Miss Mandy 
I hav no news w^orth Ritin only wor news and I guess you 
her a nough of that ever}^ day I will giv you a short skitch of 
our tramps since we left winter qwarters we left May the 5 
and went in to the fite the 6 morning at sunris and faut until 
dark and the next morning we went in at day light and faut 
til 10 oclock that knight when we wor Relevd and we movd 
down the liii the next day had another small fite with them 
and we hev bin fitin them every day since we left awn the 1 2 
day we had the marster fite that ever has bin faut in Virginia 
I never Saw such a slawter in all my life well as the fite ent 
over I wont say mutch about if we air in line of batel at 
Spotsylvania court hows and has bin fer o er 6 days and I ent 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 151 

abel to say liow lowDg we will Remain her I think it is a qeer 
notion to fite them here that is if tha stay to see it I wish tha 
wood fite us er les go back awn the other Side of the River 
so we cowd obtain Som Rest fer this army is gaded vary 
mutch but air still in goad Spirits I am in fine spirits my self 
all tho I field vary much exzausted fer I hent slep as mutch 
as 5 knights since this thing has commenst and I hav not had 
awf my shoes ner cateridge Box smce the 4 day of may and 
you can guess wherther we air exzausted er not I will drop 
this sub ject untill the fite is over and then if I am Spaird I 
will giv you a full liistry of the batel well Miss Amanda you 
spoak of not gittin the letter that T sent the song ballet in I 
was very sorry in deed fer I wanted you to have the balet 
but had Ruther you had hav got the letter fer I think it was 
the best leter I ever composd in my lif and thair foar I showd 
hav Rether you had a got it I want you to excus mee for the 
short letter I sent buy Mr. Morris tho I thout my corispond- 
ance was not excepted but still I thout as I had sent sent you 
a sheat of paper and a stamp and I cowdent help but think if 
you Recieved that letter you wold hav a answered it fer it 
was Such a won as you cowd not Refused I dont think I hop 
my corispondance is excepted with hy Reputation as you air 
the girl I think will Suit my fancy agacly tho you hav never 
consented to our ceeping up a Regular corispondance whitch 
I hop you will not Refus as it is the only in Joyment that a 
solger sees is when he hers from the fair Sexe whitch he 
hyly dos a steam giv Jan my best lov and kind Respects and 
also Mr Morris and Miss Morris the saim and as fer lov I hop 
you will be abel to obtain a larg potian yoar self Miss mandy 
fer fere that I worry joar patience I will bring my few bad 
Remarks to a cloas hoping to her from you every weak you 
will a dres mee to Rich mond co a 8 Regment Alabama vol- 
unteers in the car of captin herd I wish you to direct mee 



152 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

agacly how to back yoar letters if the way that I opposed 
wont suit you I hop you will excus this bad writ letter fer I 
had to write It awn my nee I still remain your friend til deth. 

Mr. J. W. TOMBERLINSON." 

What an ungrateful creature she must be, when he " sent 
her a sheat of paper and a stamp," if she had not replied to 
the " best leter that he ever composd in his lif," particularly 
when he tells her " it is all the in Joyment a solger sees is 
when he hers from the fair Sexe whitch he hyly does a 
steam ! " 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 153 



CHAPTER X. 

Jefferson, General Hospita'l, Jeffersonville, 
Ind., January 3, 1865. 

A happy New Year. It is pleasant to chronicle an act of 
disinterested benevolence. A Mr. Kisling, of Delaware Co., 
Ind., visited his son in this hospital, bringing with him. some 
creature comforts. While his son was enjoying them, he 
heard others wishing they had friends to do the same for 
them. He immediately formed the resolution of seeing what 
could be done in that direction ; and upon returning home 
succeeded in interesting the good people of Delaware and 
Henry Counties, Ind., in his project, who responded liberally. 
And the result was 400 chickens, not veterans, innumerable 
cakes, with pies, fresh butter, onions, apple butter, and canned 
fruit, in all about 3,500 pounds were contributed for the benefit 
of our boys. It was enjoyed all the more from its being a 
surprise. Three capital holiday dinners in succession, well? 
the invalids of this hospital do not need to sigh for home, on 
account of these festivals. Blessings attend the donors! 

In striking contrast to such fare was that of one of our jDa- 
tients who came from Nashville last Saturday. He was taken 
prisfnier at Franklin, and was with the enemy eighteen days. 
During that time he was an inmate of the hospital, having a 
wound through neck and shoulder. His fare and that of the 
other patients was two meals per day, two biscuits of hard 
tack, and one piece of meat in all, for the twenty-four hours. 
Ther^ were at first 287 Union prisoners in the hospital. Five 
physicians and eleven nurses were detailed for dut}' ; but all 



154 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

except one of the former and four of the latter deserted. Of 
course the patients were the sufferers by this desertion, and 
out of the original number but 163 survived. Not all of this 
number were in one hospital, but of those in the one in which 
was my informant, fifteen died in twenty -four hours. 

He says had it not have been for the kindness of a young 
lady by the name 'of Fannie Courtney and her mother, in 
bringing in baskets of provisions, he believes some would 
have starved. 

Over 200 patients came from Nashville to this hospital last 
Saturday, out of which our ward received more than one for 
every bed. We have fifty -nine beds for patients, and we had 
seventy-one on the morning report for the new year. Mat- 
tresses are put on the floor at night. About the same num- 
ber came into the hospital on Sunday, and half as many to- 
day. In a few days there will be a transfer from this to some 
other hospital farther north, to make room for others from the 
front. Immediately after a large transfer to a hospital the 
greatest mortality occurs. They are sometimes brought in a 
wretched condition. Some have the balls remaining in the 
wounds. One here has not slept for three nights from that 
cause. Another came whose wound has not been dressed for 
thirty-six hours, and as a consequence he has gangrene. Not 
long since two men showed me their shirts which had been 
worn without change between twenty and thirty days. And 
there was no help for it until the next week, for at that time 
we had but twenty-five clean shirts for seventy-seven men. The 
hospital is overcrowded. It was only intended for 2,000, but 
we have had upwards of 2,600. And orders have been sent 
Maj. Goldsmith to enlarge it so that it may contain 5,000. 

It is evening ; I am seated in my ward by one of the four 
mammoth stoves, which are ranged at equal distances through 
the length of the same. Groups are gathered around each 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 155 

stove. Some are chatting on army experience, some discus- 
sing politics, some dozing in chairs, perhaps a third of the 
whole in bed, two playing chess, one singing low to himself, as 
if to pass away time, and last, but by no means least in her 
own estimation, is one who dips occasionally into the inkstand 
which is upon the same table as the chess-board, and is occu- 
pying herself in " telling tales out of school." Here is a 
short one. 

A German boy sitting just behind me on the bed who has 
an " interesting " arm, has just been telling me the following : 
" One day when our regiment was down in Georgia, a party 
from our company were out on a foraging expedition, and 
came to a house where were a woman and her two daughters. 
As we rode up the mother held up her hands in blank aston- 
ishment. 

" ' Why, youans beant Yankee soldiers, be ye ? ' 

" ' Yes, we are ! ' was the emphatic reply. 

" ' Why, youans looks like weuns do ! — only I don't know 
but youans looks better'n weuns." 

" We tried to make her tell," says my informant, " what 
weuns were expected to look like, but without success." 

January 6. 

Day before yesterday I was very busy with the little er- 
rands which seem almost nothing in the telling, but yet effect 
very much the comfort of the invalids, when an order came 
for " seven men to go from each ward to Jefferson Barracks, 
Missouri, who were from the States of Missouri, Minnesota, 
Iowa or Wisconsin — the number to be made up, if necessary, 
from Illinois." I was permitted by the surgeon to go through 
the ward and see who wished to be transferred nearer home. 
Sometimes, so little time is given after such an order is issued, 
that with the pressing duties of a surgeon it is impossible to 



156 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

take time for the selection, and some are sent farther away 
from their homes, while others are retained who would gladly 
go. 

Then came the furlough of eight of the patients, several of 
which I had looked for for some three weeks, almost as 
anxiously as the recipients. These same furloughs may be 
the means of saving three or four lives. This chronic camp 
disease, or the scurvy, is best cured at home, if at all, and if 
the patient is not to recover, he is certainly better at home in 
most instances. It was fortunately not very cold weather, as 
only one had an overcoat to wear away. He very fortunately 
had his descriptive list and drew one. The others had nothing 
except blouses over flannel shirts. 

One man, an Indian, from Michigan, had lost all his bag- 
gage. What was he to do without money or a descriptive 
roll, not having been here long enough even to get two months' 
pay ? Fortunately I had one shirt remaining from the Jan- 
uary stock of flannels. Not one was left in the Sanitary 
stores or about the hospital, except some two or three which 
some ladies had sent from home. I had already borrowed 
three such pairs of socks for those who were going to the 
front. The Sanitary Agent had told me she had but two or 
three pairs of socks to give out only in extreme cases and a 
few flannel drawers. This, I thought an extreme case, and 
taking the last flannel shirt in my possession and going to the 
lady I received the other two articles, and hastening to the 
ward gave them to the worthy representative — not of the 
copper-headed but of the copper-colored race. The ward- 
master secured other clothing for him, so that he was as com- 
fortable as was necessary. 

Another young Indian, who could speak but a few words 
of English, received a letter to show to " whom it may con- 
cern," asking assistance if needed ; while by sign I think he 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 157 

was made to understand its purport. I had been to head- 
quarters and obtained orders for an ambulance to take the 
men to the depot for the evening train of 8.40. Then left 
the ward after they had received their baggage and rations. 
Learned this morning that the ambulance did not come for 
them, and that all, except one crippled boy, had walked a 
mile through the mud to the depot. Thus are men nerved 
with additional strength when the stimulus is home and loved 
ones. 

January 15. 

Wonder how many people at the North think we are living 
on champagne and canned fruits at Uncle Sam's expense. 
Wish such could see our table. Please imagine, dear friends, 
your humble servant as sitting down to a long table with some 
eighteen others — not tables but ladies — and viewing three 
plates of bread, three bowls of gravy, ditto of apple-sauce 
arranged at equal distances, and that each has the exquisite 
pleasure of chewing for a reasonable length of time a piece 
of tough meat which is strongly suspected of having once 
been the person of a mule, and of drinking a mug of coffee 
minus the milk — and oh ! worse than all the rest, the table is 
minus the butter. These two last are regretted the most. I 
wish somebody would make a raid and capture a dairy — milk- 
maid and all ! Won't some good Northern body be so mag- 
nanimous as to send me a little pat of butter and a cup of 
milk ? 

The truth is, I have encountered perils by land and sea, — • 
thrice being obliged to do my own washing save once, because 
the laundress had married a husband and could not come. 
Once in my life did I have the audacity to pay special atten- 
tion to a young corporal from Massachusetts by accompanying 
him to church one Sabbath evening, and came very near 
27 



158 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

being discharged for the same. Shall never dare to repeat 
the heinous offence. Special attentions not allo\Yed among 
Uncle Sam's nephews and nieces. It is my opinion that said 
corporal is not over fifteen years younger than myself, still 
there's no knowing what might have come of it. Ah, me ! 
what a sacrifice am I making for the good of my country. 

" Ladj^ nurses in the hospital," says a late order which was 
sent to each ward, " are expected to be in their wards each 
meal time to receive the special and extra diets and deal them 
out ; take charge of all liquors used in the wards, and do any- 
thing else required by their surgeons." 

This, by the by, is just what we've been doing all the while, 
especially taking care of all the liquors we can obtain, in ad- 
dition to which some of us have done whatsoever our hands, 
heads, or hearts might find to do, whether ordered by a sur- 
geon, or not. 

But to return to the fruitful subject of our own diet. Per- 
haps I have colored the matter a little too highly, and to be 
just, will mention that for some three consecutive mornings 
we have had the exquisite felicity of inhaling the fumes which 
arose from buckwheat cakes, just after arrival of that kind of 
flour to the hospital. Said fumes issued from the steward's 
mess just across the hall. It was so grateful to the olfactory 
nerves, we thought of sending a deputation to wait upon their 
dignities and humbly request a continuance of the same for 
our benefit. Once, since our sojourn here, somebody has 
has had a remarkably severe fit of benevolence, not fatal, 
however ; and the consequence was we had hot rolls for three 
successive mornings. If only somebody would send one of 
those nice little needle-books, or comfort bags, with an affec- 
tionate letter in the interior thereof from some " nice young 
lady at the North," and I could present the same with one of 
my most winning smiles, and sweetest tones, mayhap we 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 159 

might have hot rolls for three more mornings, or what would 
be still better, 

Have butter on oui- daily bread, 
And milk within our coffee. 

This poetry is perfectly original ; please don't anybody claim 
it, on their peril. 

Again, I confess I may have colored the matter of the diet 
too highly, for there has been an overplus of butter in the 
wards since it has disappeared from our table, and conse-. 
quently some of us have seen fit to capture a piece ; therefore, 
there may be seen by the side of some plates a little pat of 
butter done up in a rag. Happy possessor of the rag with 
butter in it, even if it ranks higher than any general in the 
field ! 

Jaxuary 17. 

Am feeling grieved and sad this morning. The chief nurse 
is to-day sent to the front. What a pity he could not with- 
stand the temptation which sparkles in the wine cup. A more 
capable, prompt and cheerful nurse is seldom or never found 
I wrote a few lines to him, and received a reply. Will copy 
both. 

''Ward 1, January 17. 
« Mr. ; 

" My Dear Friend : — Do you know some of us are feeling 
sad and griev^ed this pleasant morning, and do you know the 
reason ? I snatch a moment to write you a few hasty lines, 
even at the risk of not knowing whether or not they will be 
kindly received. In addition to the feeling which prevails in 
the ward, of regret that one so j)rompt, cheerful and capable 
in a sick room, is going to leave us, is another, which, even at 



160 HOSPITAL TEXCILLINGS. 

the risk of womicling your feelings, I must express, as I Lave 
a good object in view. It is, that one so capable of making a 
noble specimen of manhood and of doing so much good in the 
"world, is liable to be bound in chains stronger than ever ty- 
rant bound a slave. Do you know, my friend, that ' he who 
ruletli his own spirit is greater than he who taketh a city ? ' 
Cannot you battle bravely against this one temptation, and 
prove yourself the conqueror? I am a member of the 
Order of Good Templars, and I wish very much you were 
situated so that you could unite with that, for it might be a 
great help to you. 

" I have used my influence to keep you here, and would go 
myself to the executive officers and intercede, but that I know 
there is sensitiveness upon the subject of ' interference of the 
lady nurses.' It is universally regretted in the ward that you 
are to leave, and some have interceded for you. Dr. C. also 
regrets the fact, but he has several times come between Dr. 
M. and the men in his ward, and once before on your account, 
and farther intercession would comjDromise his own position 
and influence. 

"If this is received in the same spirit of kindness in which 
it is written, I shall be glad to know. I shall be glad to hear 
from you, from any place where you may be. But the bugle 
sounds for dinner and I must close. 
"• Your sincere friend. 



"Guard House, January 17. 
"Mi'ss F ; 

" My Dear Friend : — I received your kind and welcome 
note a few moments since, and am very thankful for your ad- 
vice. I will make a jDromise but I do not know as I can keep 
it, but will try, and if I can govern myself shall ever be 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. IGl 

thankful for your advice. You know that the army is a hard 
place for young men, and we are always tempted to use this 
poisonous stuff. 

It took me down when I read that letter, and made me 
ashamed of myself to think that after I have done as I have, 
you would write to me and give me such good advice. And 
I have resolved not to be ruled by that one temptation, but to 
battle against it and attain the mastery over it. I will keep 
that letter of yours, and when tempted to break my resolution 
will take that letter and read it. 

I could have come in the ward this morning, but did not 
wish to, as it would make me feel so bad. I shall have to bid 
you good bye from here. I will write when I get to a stop- 
ping place, and shall always be glad to hear from you. 
" From your friend, 



January 22. 

Nearly 1,000 patients have been added to the hospital with- 
in the last ten days. The " R. C. Wood " brought up 700 
and left 100 at New Albany. Two days after, the little hos- 
pital boat ''Jennie. Hopkins," brought 2G9 more. From this 
number should be taken, however, fourteen, who died on the 
passage, nine on the barge, and five on the small boat. As 
many more died within twenty -four hours after their arrival. 

" War is cruel, and cannot be refined," was the defensive 
shot fired by Sherman at Atlanta. Still it seems a pity that 
men should be sent out from Nashville hospitals, in a dying- 
condition, to make way for rebel prisoners. Why could not 
some private mansion be used for that purpose, whose owners 
are known to have taken the oath merely to save their pro- 
perty ? At the door of one such residence during my stay iu- 
that city, one of the young ladies was heard to say indig- 
28 



1G2 HOSPITAL TENCILLINGS. 

nantly, " Well, ice shall have to leave here before long, that's 
sure, for I see no signs of these Yankees leaving." Or very- 
good use might be made of that of another, who confessed to 
my informant that she was " obliged to take the oath on ac- 
count of her property, but that if her son enlisted in the Fed- 
eral army to fight against his friends, she would herself take 
his life with a revolver." 

I did not visit the large boat myself, but a lady who has 
been connected with hospitals over two years, a good part of 
the time at Memphis, and not of the sensational stamp, says 
that she never before saw such scenes of suffering. 

In company with this lady and one other, I visited the 
" Jennie Hopkins," the next morning after her arrival. All 
had been taken from the lower cabin the night before, and for 
some yards from the door of the corridor to the place where 
the ambulance stopped, the snow was red with the blood that 
had drij^ped from the wounds of the patients. As we neared 
the boat they were bringing off patients on stretchers to the 
ambulances, while others were walking. Among those on lit- 
ters, was one little lump of humanity so small, enveloped in 
blankets, as to make me doubt whether there was anything 
but a blanket. Probably a wee bit of a drummer boy, I 
thought ; and it might have been the same little fellow of fif- 
teen years, who I have since learned was taken into one of 
the wards, without an}- clothing excej^t blankets, and perfectly 
benumbed, and who died the next day. Among those who 
walked, I saw two middle-aged men, with their arms support- 
ing each other, looking so pale and emaciated as to make me 
wonder whether with such weak and uncertain steps they 
would ever reach the hosiDital. 

L^pon entering the boat we saw nothing particularly strik- 
ing to those w^ho are accustomed to hospital scenes. They 
were about lifting another man on a stretcher, when a surgeon 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 1G3 

told them they must wait awhile as the ambulances were full 
and gone. 

" What, only three ambulances to such a big hospital as 
this ! " said one patient. " Oh, dear ! seems like we'd never 
get off," said another. 

" Oh, carry me home, oh, carry me home," 

sang out another, whose healthy, jovial face enveloped in a 
turned-up overcoat collar, seemed in striking contrast to the 
average of the company. But a pair of crutches lying upon 
the bed beside him, gave proof of his claim to make one of 
this number. 

" We'll have chance to stay here to dinner, yet, to say 
nothing of a luncheon," he mischievously continued. Pa- 
tients on these boats complained bitterly of their fare. 

" The most ravenous set I ever saw," said the man, having 
charge of the full diet in our ward, two days afterward ; " they 
must have nearly starved them." 

They commenced dressing one man, evidently very low, 
drawhig on his clothes very slowly. Then they paused, and 
three or four gathered around. The steward left him, came 
past us, unlocked a door, and taking a glass drew some brandy 
from a keg. " Is he dying ?" was inquired in a low tone- 
" No, but very low," was the reply. The liquor was given, 
and he revived so as to be taken to the hospital, but very 
likely was included in that number who died within twent}^- 
four hours. I profess to be a Good TemjDlar, but I some- 
times thank the Lord fervently for good brandy. To die in 
a pleasant ward, on a clean bed, and with every needed com- 
fort, and a letter to the loved ones at home, with even this 
poor comfort for them was better than to die tliere. 

We passed around and spoke to several ; and when I saw 
one boy of about eighteen, from a distance, I said to myself, 



1G4 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

" Surely that boy is able to go to the front ;" but upon ap- 
proaching, saw what was the matter. 

" Ah," was the query, " how long since that foot of yours 
left you ? You're looking well enough to go to the front." 

'• I «;??," said he, with a genial smile on his rosy face. " It's 
only about three weeks since my foot was taken off, but I 
havn't been sick a day. I am ivell enough." 

And such is the difference. Blessed are those who go into 
the army with pure blood, sound constitutions, and a habit of 
looking on the bright side. 

One middle-aged man, whose countenance as I read it, told 
of sterling worth and stability of purpose, was lying in bed, 
and with glistening eyes, he told me how greatly he had suf- 
fered, as he showed me the heavy, jagged minie ball which 
had ploughed through the bones of his ancle. 

"It was at the second charge on the loth, and of the IGtli 
army corps, at Nashville. I had fired my piece, and had 
dropped on my knee to reload, for I was but a few yards from 
the rebel breastworks, when the ball struck me. I was taken 
to hospital No 1 ; but on the night of the 20th, our men were 
all taken out of the hospital to make room for 1,500 rebel 
prisoners. There was a cold sleet at the time. I took cold by 
being taken to a tent where I suffered dreadfully. I can 
never tell how much I endured there for several days." 

Another man who lay near, showed me a rough three-sided 
piece of iron, weighing about a quarter of a pound, which he 
told me was " the piece of shell which laid him up." He cor- 
roborated the statement of the other, about the removal from 
the hospital. Several in my ward have told me the same 
thing, who were put on the next train and brought here. " It 
was understood," say they, " that we were taken out to make 
way for 1,500 wounded rebel prisoners." And it is the testi- 
mony of surgeons here, that the greater portion of those who 
came on those boats, " were not fit subjects for transfer." 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 165 

If this taking of sick and wounded men from warm quar- 
ters, and sending them off to suffer and die, that rebels may 
be made comfortable, is a military necessity, I " don't see it," 
as the soldiers say. " There were the greatest number of re- 
cent ampiitations, on the large boat, I ever saw together," 
said the lady formerly alluded to, who visited it. 

" Fresh amputations, where arms had been taken oiF close 
to the shoulder, were sent off on transfers," says a young the- 
ological student, at present a patient in my ward. Here is 
more evidence. I was at the gangrene tents and barracks 
soon after, and one in the latter place said, " Oh, my wound was 
looking so nice when I left Nashville, but there were 150 of 
us, whose wounds were all washed with one sponge, and none 
were dressed but once a day, and I think as many as fifty took 
gangrene. There were five who did in this room." I inquir- 
ed of those, and found it their testimony also, as well as of 
others, still, who were at the tents. One told me he had gan- 
grene when he left Nashville. 

As far as regards my own ward, one was brought here, 
with gangrene in his wound, which was contracted on the 
boat. He was brought in at eleven o'clock one day, and died 
at eleven the next night. I was standing by his bed some 
two hours after his arrival, taking the name of " nearest rela- 
tive " to write to for him, when he casually mentioned that he 
" did have a brother in this place some time ago, but hadn't 
heard from him in a month, and presumed he had been trans- 
ferred, or, perhaps," said he faintly, " he may be dead, he wrote 
he was pretty sick. He was in ward 10, and, I think, Hospi- 
tal No. 8. I had it in a letter, but I threw it away, for I never 
expected to be here." 

"We have no Hospital No. 8, in the place," I said, "but 
are you sure about the ward ?" 

" Yes," he was sure the ward was No. 10. 



166 HOSPITAL TENCILLINGS. 

" Then if your brother is in this hospital, I can find him," 
but not to excite him too much, I added that very likely, as 
several transfers had taken place within that time, he had 
been sent away. I started out immediately, went to No. 10, 
called for the ward-master, and found that the man I was seek- 
ing, was well, and had been detailed for duty in the bakery. 
I started again on the covered corridor, just now such a con- 
venient protection against the snow-storm, passed my own 
ward, and went to the bakery. I opened the door and saw 
some three men within, who wore the badge of their present 
emi3loyment, in the shape of flour on their clothing. 

" Is Mr. Moses C here ?" was the inquirj-. 

" Yes, that is my name," said a young man stepping for- 
ward. His manner and tone were seriously expectant, why, 
was soon understood. 

" You have a brother here," I said. 

" What, not a wounded brother ?" he said excitedly. 

" Yes," I said ; " he came on the boat to-day." 

" Why, I have a brother here now, just from home, who 
had started for Nashville to get his body, for they had heard 
that he was dead. Where is he ? What ward is he in ?" he con- 
tinued, moving towards the door. 

" I will show you," was the reply, as we started out; "but 
your brother is quite low, and it will be necessarj^ to calm 
yourself, so as to excite him as little as possible." 

He promised to do so, and I made him wait at the upper 
part of the ward, while I went to the lower, and broke the 
news to the dying man. It was a blessing for me to see the 
kiss given and received by the dying lips, and for the three 
brothers it was a blessed privilege to meet and commune that 
day and the next, before death hid one of them in the grave. 

Since I have been writing this, while sitting at my little 
stand, near the door of the ward, a man came quietly in, who 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 167 

paused, waiting. I looked up and saw Mr. King, the one 
mentioned under date of December 21st, who had been home 
on a furlough to get his starving flimily out of rebeldom. Af- 
ter the usual salutations, I learned the sequel to that before 
noted, and the burden of the story condensed, ran thus : 

" My wife got the five dollars you sent, so she and the chil- 
dren did very well till I got home. The guerrillas came into 
town again, last Friday was a week, but I was six miles from 
home at the time. They came and robbed the stores and 
were away again. They whipped in within a mile of a Fed- 
eral regiment. They knew when to come mighty well ; when 
the Unionists ain't to home, somebody tells 'em. The Union 
folks is all leavin' the place, anyhow, and its next to impossi- 
ble to sell anything. I sold my cow for forty dollars, and two 
or three other things that didn't 'mount to much, an' it cost 
me fifty dollars to get my family here. Then I've had to pay 
'bout six dollars for tub, wash-board and some other things 
we couldn't keep house without, and I've but a little left. Do 
you know if I'll be able to get any pay this time ? " 

" Were you here the first of November ?" 

" No, I came the ninth." 

" And your descriptive roll is with your regiment ? " 

" Yes." 

" Then, I'm sorry to say, you'll get no pay this time." 

Then he hung his head, and said, meditativel}'- to himself 
rather than to me, " I don't know how I'll get along then. 
I got here in town," he continued, "about a week ago, but my 
furlough wasn't up yet, and I stayed to the Refugee House. 
I've been a-takin' keer o' them thar, and givin' 'em medicine, 
for thar ain't scarcely one thar what can read any sort o' 
handwritin', an I brought a recommend from them, axin' Dr. 
G. here, if I can't have a permanent detail an' stay thar. 
My furlough's just out to-day, so I come u}) to report an' ax 
for the detail." 



1G8 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

So much for his story, one among manj^ 

At the present date, I have but two or three very sick men 
in the ward, and the one who is probably the worst tells me 
that he is " right smart better, this morning." Still one very 
bad feature, as connected with the institution, has developed 
itself within the past forty-eight hours, in the shape of some 
seven cases of small-pox. They are being removed to the 
proper hospital at Louisville. 

Saturday, 28. 

Charles Stearns, Co. F, 177th Ohio, was broken out this 
morning with what seemed to me measles. Dr. D. soon came 
in, who is taking the place of the ward surgeon for some 
twenty days, he having gone home on furlough. As soon a 
I saw the eruption I felt nervously apprehensive of what may 
be the result, for I remembered the sixty cases of measles in 
Nashville, which were sent to the small-pox hospital. I told 
the physician of this, and my belief that the man had mea- 
sles. But he thought otherwise, and the patient was taken 
from his warm bed close by the fire, and carried to a ten^ 
where was a small-pox patient. I hope the surgeon was wise 
in removing the patient, but I fear the worst. Vaccination 
is since being rapidly performed. 

Sometimes they make queer mistakes in the reports. One 
man was detailed for light duty who was in the dead-house. 
Others have been ordered to the front who were on a death- 
bed, and others are reported dead, who are well. 

The usual punishment for almost any misdemeanor is the 
guard-house, and then the front. Though sometimes, it is the 
carrying of a large stick of wood on the shoulder, or a board 
strapped on the back with the word " Drunkard," back and 
forth on a certain walk, so many hours per day. 

One man from my ward, " the fancy fellow," as the boys 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 169 

called him, because lie dressed so well, refused one very cold 
Sunday morning to help carry coal for our fires, and was sent 
to the guard-house and then to his regiment. Another stole 
a pocket-book and met with the same fate. At the time of 
the New Years' dinner, it was stored over night in this dining- 
room, of ward 12. The boxes were broken open that eve, 
and the goodies were being devoured and secreted that night 
and next morning. Miss H. and somebody else, chanced to 
learn the fact, and it was reported to the executive officers. 
It was found to be two kitchen boys, and one patient who was 
having extra diet carried to him. Chickens and butter were 
found secreted in their overcoats. 

These were promptly sent to the front. One man was sent 
to the guard-house for spitting on the corridor. On Christ- 
mas, as a man was going into the large dining-hall to dinner, 
who had just arrived from Nashville, he said aloud that they 
were " going to have a feast then, and live on crumbs and 
scraps, or starve for a week, to make up." Dr. Mathewson, 
the executive officer, overheard the grumbler, and he took 
bread and water in the guard-house instead of a Christmas din- 
ner. 

Two men have just been telling me of a little story of one 
of those wise refugees. It was near Kenesaw Mt, and before 
the battle there. The regiment had a large tin steam oven 
in their possession. This was mounted upon a wagon, and as 
it passed a house, a woman with open-mouthed wonder in- 
quired, 

" What that thar thing was." 

" That — oh, that is one of Gen. Sherman's flanking ma- 
chines," said one with the most impurturbable gravity. 

After the battle of Kenesaw Mt. they passed that way 
again, and one who had known of this took occasion to speak 
to the woman of the result of the battle, and she replied : 

" Wall, its no wonder weuns got whipped for Mr. Hood 



170 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

haint got none o' them flankin' machines what Mr. Sherman 
has. I don't b'lieve Mr. Hood could get one o' them are things 
in all this ere country !" 

The hearer, also, " thought he couldn't." 

Tuesday 31. 

" Charley," the small-pox patient, was sent to the small-pox 
hospital at Louisville yesterday. I still think it measles. 

Saw a letter last eve, which had originally been directed to 
Cumberland Hospital, Nashville. That was erased, and in 
red ink appeared the words, " transferred to Louisville, Ken- 
tucky." There it had been marked " Clay Hospital, not 
here," " Crittendon Hospital, not here," Then " Jefferson 
Hospital, Ward 7." That was crossed out, and the words 
written " Tent C. Gangrene." To-day that letter was carri- 
ed to the place, by Miss French, and as she read the name 
aloud one man exclaimed, joyfully, " That's my name," then 
as he received it, he said, with streaming eyes, " God bless it ! " 

Februaet 5. 

Yesterday morning a stalwart, healthy man, stood guard on 
the corridor at the carriage crossing, who at night was lying 
in the dead-house, the victim of drunkenness. 

Dr. C. came back yesterday from his furlough. Patients 
all rejoiced to see him. He says " Charley," the ward-mas- 
ter, and I both look as if we had been sick. We have had a 
great deal to do and are quite worn out. 

First sermon in the new chapel to-day. It is not plastered 
and was quite cold. Everybody sang a tune of their own. 
The building of this chapel is Chaplain O's special care and 
great anxiety. And though he has several hundred volumes of 
books which have been donated for the use of the patients of 
this hospital, yet he keej^s them all closely boxed up, until 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 171 

the reading-room in the chapel is finished, which may not be 
done before the hospital is broken up. It is such a pity when 
there are so many hundred men passing through here who 
need them. 

Have just learned that my diagnosis of the so-called 
" small-pox patient," was correct. It was a bitter cold day, 
the river was frozen, and the ferry-boats not running, and he 
was taken via New Albany to the small-pox hospital. He 
was carried the twelve miles in an ambulance in his bed, and 
without being dressed. He took cold, and was kept only 
thirty-six hours at that hospital, when it was decided that he 
had measles and he was sent to the measles hospital. Last 
night when his brother visited him, he was not conscious. He 
cannot live. He has fallen a victim to what ? 

February 7. He died yesterday. 

February 11. 

Two men started home on a furlough to-day. One of them 
W. C. Stewart, Co. I. 7th 111. Cav., it seems is of a family of 
heroes. His father was in the revolutionary war, his oldest 
son was in the Mexican, was wounded and exempt in this. 
But the father says he did not say to his other three sons 
" go " but " come," and went with them. One was killed at 
the battle of Corinth. He tells me that when home on a vet- 
eran furlough, the copperheads of the place had determined 
the soldiers should not vote. " But," said he, " we gave them 
to understand we would fis^ht for the ri<;ht if needful, and 
some eight of us armed ourselves and marched to the polls, 
and every one voted." He says also that one of his sons was 
offered $1,000, to go as substitute, ''but" said he, as the deter- 
mination of the patriot blazed in his eyes, though over sixty 
years of age and unable to stand without leaning on both 
crutches, " If he had been bought to stand up as a mark for 



172 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

rebel bullets for another man, after fightiug them so bravely 
as he had, I'd have been almost tempted to have shot him 
myself. He re-enlisted to fight for himself This furlough 
has been a long time coming, but if I get home in time to see 
the copi^erheads squirm when the draft comes off, it '11 do." 

Miss McNett says a humorous patient in her ward, who has 
eaten almost nothing for a day or two, upon her asking what 
he would have said, " Oh, almost any thmg, if it has a wo- 
man's finger in it." 

One middle-aged man at the gangrene w\ard told me last 
Sunday that it " did do the men so much good, to have a wo- 
man come, if she didn't say more 'n one word, it revived 'em 
so ;" and he earnestly appealed to the ward-master if it was 
not the case, and who agreed with him. 

In contrast to this was the assurance of a surgeon in one of 
the wards to the lady, Mrs. C, that the lady nurses here, were 
regarded by the generality of the surgeons as "j^ermitted 
nuisances." Nevertheless I am strongly of the opinion that 
if either of the surgeons should be really sick, tliey would be 
very glad to get " something with a woman's finger in it," 
even though not frank enough to own it. And some of us at 
least came only to take care of the sick, and care much more 
for their apjoroval, than for any slights which can be given by 
others. 

Mrs. R. is joyfully elated this morning, for she tells us 
earnestly that her " men all complain of being hetter. On the 
contrary one of mine informs me that he has " got a big mis- 
ery in his breast," another that he is " a heap hetter than yes- 
terday," and another that he's right smart hetter, iho\\^\ pow- 
erful weak yet, thank you madam." 

Don't know whether he has me to thank for all of that, or 
not. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 173 

An order has just been received from the surgeon-general, 
to the effect that no lady nurses shall be kept in hospitals, ex- 
cept soldier's wives .and widows. 

Dr. C, but especially Mr. Bayne, say they shall have to 
hunt me up a soldier, and the latter inquires seriously, and 
with a very fatherly air, if " red whiskers will be a serious ob- 
jection." I tell him it will " not be an insuperable objection, 
as I expect to make sacrifices for the good of my country." 

February 17. 

Yesterday was an April day in my calendar. The showers 
came when Mr. B., one of nature's noblemen, a gentleman 
and a scholar, albeit our "kitchen man," and also honest, 
warm-hearted and cheerfid Peter, chief wound-dresser, were 
ordered to their own State, N. J. It was a matter of regret 
all around, to themselves and everybody else. It seems a 
pity that such responsible positions as chief nurse and wound- 
dresser, those who by long experience know their duties and 
have the confidence of the invalids, should be made so light 
of. These same men, after reporting in their own State, may 
remain in some hospital for months without having any part 
in the work for which they are so well fitted. But the order 
came from a superior officer, ordering " all New Jersey men 
who were able to bear transportation to report at Washington." 
So much for the showers. 

The sunshine was poured on amid the showers by the ar- 
rival of the Eev. D. P. Livermore, from Chicago, with seven 
boxes and a barrel of sanitary stores, for Mrs. Colton and 
myself. These contained a nice supply of flannels, dressing- 
gowns, rags for wounds and dried and canned fruit. Wasn't 
I overjoyed ? could hardly sleep last night. 

February 23. 

Have been urged, on account of my failing health, to ac- 
30 



174 HOSriTAL TENCILLINGS. 

company a friend to her home for a rest of ten days. Had 
decided to do so, but the ward-master is taken sick, threatened 
with fever, and one other poor boy is running down so fast I 
feel that I must stay if possible. Will try to get well here, 
and attend to them also. Sick the last twenty-four hours. 

Patients in this hospital do not think much of other hos- 
pitals in comparison. As one evidence among many, will 
give extracts from two letters just received, one by myself 
another hj a patient, from our lamented Mr. B. He writes 
thus graphically : 

" AYard 3, Newark, N. J., February 19, 1865. 

My Dear Miss P. — We duly reached this delectable dump- 
ing-ground, after fifty-six hours of almost incessant motion. 
The establishment consists of an ancient tannery, located pic- 
turesquely among lumber-yards, railroads, debris of all kinds, 
and the Passaic river. The result fulfills my i^u'emonitions, I 
can only pray that my stay may be short. 

I have no doubt that the loss of my valuable endeavors at 
the Jefferson, in the artistic arrangement of bread and molas- 
ses, has proved irreparable. But I am consoled by the reflec- 
tion that this is not the first blunder, evincing lack of states- 
manship, made by Lincoln's administration during this w^r. 
What the consequences are likely to be, it would not be safe 
to predict. 

I think Dr. Mathewson must be a miserable man, coming 
in as he does, and breaking up the civil, political and social re- 
lations of men and women, as good as himself. Don't you 
think so too ? It seems impossible that he should sleep well 
o'nights. Ergo, he must be sijlenetic and dyspej^tic in the 
morning. Ergo, he must be very unhappy. I believe too he 
has black whiskers, and I have read in that highly exciting, 
historical romance, entitled " The Bloody Shoe String, or the 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 175 

Murdered Milkmaid," that pirates and assassins always have 
black whiskers. I leave the reader to draw his own infer- 
ence. Very different is Dr. Chapman's unhappiness. It is 
of that godly, (or goodly-something) sort, which Paul tells 
about, that one need not be sorry for." 

" Upon our arrival, we were immediately regaled with cold 
tea, stale bread and strong butter. We were then shown up 
to a loft in the building, and given beds filled with straw, with 
but one sheet, ditto blanket, but as there were no open win- 
dows, or ventillators, and we were very tired we snored away 
very comfortably till morning. At breakfast we were regaled 
with rye coffee, and stale bread and the aforesaid strong but- 
ter ; after which about twenty doctors, headed by a small man 
with a sword, marched through the ward, the little man call- 
ing out " salute, salute," as he traveled along. 

The little doctor was the surgeon-in-charge. This place is 
just what I knew it was. If a man blows his nose too loud, 
he goes to the guard-house, and there is $5.00 reward for tell- 
ing who spits on the floor. I don't know what they do with 
them. Very likely they are drowned in the river close by, 
for I don't see what else the river was put there for. Last 
week, I am told, two men became so disgusted with the place, 
that one shot himself and the other hung himself, and others 
are thinking seriously of the same thing. 

Depend upon it New Jersey is a great country, if it was 
only white-washed and fenced in. 

This morning I asked the doctor for a pass for forty-eight 
hours. But he assured me that I might run away, and never 
come back. Then I asked for a pass to go out and see the 
town, but he could not attend to me then. Peter, however is 
out, and B. S. who you remember went from Ward 1 on a 
furlough, has not reported at all, and is going about town. 

The nurses and ward-master here are citizens employed by 



176 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Government at $25 per month, and a filthy, saucy crowd they 
are. The wardmaster in my ward is an Irishman who can- 
not read or write correctly. Every body must do his own 
washing, or hire it done, and must find all his own clothes. 
They have neither slippers, nor gowns, and every man tum- 
bles into his straw-bed, when he arrives, with just what he 
has on his back. We have no women in the wards, and I 
don't see as they have any light diet. The men that are not 
able to get down stairs have the same food brought to them 
as is given the convalescents. The ward doctor sits in his of- 
fice, and the men that are able to walk must go to him for 
their quinine. 

Take it all in all, this is the greatest institution I have ever 
visited. It should by all means have the leather medal. 
This is the stripe of the United States army hospitals, to the 
Eastward, within ten miles of New York. Don't you wish 
you was here ? It is so nice." 

Signed, 



March 2. 

Willie B. says it is necessary for a man to get so that he 
weighs 180 pounds, before he can be admitted to the invalid 
corps. He is an Alabamian, and has been telling me of his 
escape from home. He says : 

" We had hid, and laid out in the woods for ten or twelve 
months, and were tired of it. There were nine boys of us. 
We travelled fifteen miles the first night, and in the morning, 
soon after the last of the boys had joined us, we reached 
Sand Mt., and after a little wliile we heard a horn in 
the valley, and we thought in a minute what's up. And sure 
enough, we were right, and the bloodhounds and the hunters 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



177 



came on after us. The dogs had a strap of leather round 
their necks and an iron rod to each couj^le, parting them 
about a foot and a half. Then we started in earnest, and one 
of the boys said " let us set fire to the woods." Then we 
made for that side of the mountain where the woods were, and 
set them on fire and then waited till the dogs lost our trail in 
the ashes and set oat on the side from which the wind came. 
We travelled five nights, hiding by day, and reached the 
Union lines at Bridgeport, where we all enlisted." 

Another death of one of our members occurred some time 
since, which I neglected to note in its proper place. He was 
a German, Valentine Rowe, of the 72d Ohio. He had been 
a great sufferer, had been twice out to the gangrene tents 
and suffered greatly from burning and hemorrhage. He was 
a long time dying, did not know it, but " wondered when that 
pain would ever get stopped in his chest." 

"SYarfel was just telling me of the narrow escape of one of 
our nurses last night. He was on duty as guard and nurse in 
the ward, but had lain down and fiillen asleep. When the of- 
ficer of the day came in, whose duty it is to visit every sick 
ward at midnight, and who chanced to be Dr. D. who attend- 
ed here in the absence of the ward surgeon on furlough, he 
called out " nurse, nurse," then added, " I shall have to re- 
port him but I hate to do it ; perhaps," he added, " he has 
gone out after coal." 

So he passed down through the ward to the ward-master's 
room and closed the door behind him. Then one of the pa- 
tients, a paralytic, having a little bag of salt which lie had to 
use with eggs, threw it on the nurse and waked him. He 
suspected something of the truth and started up, though more 
asleep tlian awake. " Run," said one " catch up the coal- 
bucket and run out." But he had just taken it up when hear- 
ing the back door open, upon the hurried advice of another 



178 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

lie commenced the viojoroiis fillinoj of a stove. The docter 
came up and said good-naturedly : 

" Oh, you were out for coal, wasn't you ?" 

I am sorry to record here, that very unwelcome fact, that 
one soldier at least was known to i3erpetrate an untruth. 

The patients showed by their action in the matter that he 
was considered at least " worth his salt." 

Sunday 5. 

Have been reading to C. T. Bryant, from " Stumbling 
Blocks," by Gail Hamilton. This patient has lain on his bed 
over two months in this ward, from a wound received at 
Nashville. 

Also attended the baptism of a young man by the name of 
Ray, from Niles, Michigan. His sister is with him. She has 
got discharge papers just made out for him a few hours since, 
and he was so anxious to get home to die. But his death has 
been hourly expected the last twenty -four hours. 

He was sick some months, about a year since and received 
a discharge furlough. He was without money, and a lawyer 
at home offered to loan him some, and take his papers and 
draw the pay for him. The i3apers were mislaid and lost. 
Then he was taken for a deserter, and carried in irons to Lou- 
isville. There he was released, as a file of the furlough ap- 
peared on the books, but .instead of being allowed his dis- 
charge as had been promised, he was sent to his regiment. 

The disease was checked only, and it has brought him here 
to die. 

March 10. 

River very high yesterday, \\p to the second story of some 
houses in Louisville, but this hospital is on Mount Arrarat. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 179 

It froze last night, and is " right cold " to-day, as Illinoisans 
express it. Old winter is giving us a parting grip. 

Mrs. C. has been telling me one or two incidents which I 
will note down ; she has lived in Missouri and Louisiana. In 
crossing the plains, as they stopped at a place they inquired 
the news. 

" Well," said one in a whining voice, who had said he was 
from that famous place, of " Hooppole township, Rosey Coun- 
ty, Indiana," '• Lee has whipped the Federals all to pieces." 

" You lie, sir," said Mrs. C. quite emphatically, and besides 
you're a copperhead and rebel sympathizer." 

" Oh, you're too hard on the man," said a gentleman of her 
own party, " we don't know but the report is correct, or if not, 
he may have told it as he heard it." 

" I say he is a copperhead," she affirmed, " for when you 
hear a man say ' Lee has whipped the Feds all to pieces, 
and say it as if he enjoyed it — and besides he was looking 
down and digging his toes into the ground when he said it — its 
safe to pronounce him one. And," she continued, " I'll wager 
what money I have against a penny, that if we ask those peo- 
ple who are coming what the news is, we shall get a different 
report, for just after a rebel defeat, you'll always hear cop- 
perheads relate the dispatches which come through their 
grape-vine telegraph." 

A party here rode up, and selecting one who wore the garb 
of a Union soldier, which contrasted with the butternut 
clothes of the sympathizer, she said : 

" Sir, I recognize you as a United States soldier by your 
dress, will you be kind enough to tell us the latest news ?" 
" Madam," was the reply, " the very latest news as I under- 
stand it, is that Grant has got Lee just where he wants him." 

I note this, not merely as an incident to remember, but 
more as a reminiscence f©r myself and as characteristic of the 



180 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

woman. She is one of our eloquent and praying Christians, 
but of a strong and easily kindled temperament. She is of 
Southern blood and her father was a slaveholder, but no 
stronger abolitionist can be found than herself. 

She tells me that a Dr. Dods, of Clark County, Missouri, was 
visited one day by rebels. Doctor and his wife had seen 
them coming, and she had told him to hide in the corn-field, 
and supposed he had done so, when instead, he had gone to 
the cellar. His wife, upon their asking to be shown over the 
house, manifested the greatest willingness and lighted them 

' o s o 

to the cellar, and went round with them telling what was in 
this barrel and what in that. Her husband was lying behind 
the one containing vinegar." " I believe this is cider," said 
one of the men laying his hand on the barrel. 

" No, it is vinegar," said the wife, and both passed on, she 
supposing it policy to keep them there as long as possible, 
but the doctor was not discovered. The lady is first cousin to 
J. C. Breckenridge, and the doctor the same to Mrs. Lincoln. 

Mrs. Rumsey says in making some artificial flowers for her 
ward, she remarked to some of the patients who were near, 
that such a flower was " the emblem of innocence and purity." 
" Oh, fie ! " said one, '" innocence and jDurity are about played 
out in the army." 

This is about equal to the remark of another, in speaking 
of the practice by Chaplain Fitch of holding service in the 
wards and praying with the sick men, he said : " The Chap- 
lain knows what he's about, he's just playing off." 

The comic or ludicrous is often mixed up with the serious, 
here as elsewhere. Mrs. R. says that the other day as her- 
self, the nurses and some of the patients were standing by 
the bed of one of the patients, who was just breathing his 
last, one of them, who lisps, broke the solemn silence by say- 
ing with a sigh, and slowly and solemnly, — 

" Heth justh gone up the thspout ! " 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 181 

March 16. 

All are better in my ward ; except one who was brought in 
some four days since, and who will probably not survive 
twenty-four hours. Nineteen out of the thirty-nine at pre- 
sent here, are to have furloughs to their own States. Have 
been w^aiting some time for their transferal before taking a 
furlough. 

Yesterday, went over to Louisville, on the ferry-boat which 
is so strangely named " John Shallcross," the name of one of 
the owners. " Sue Mundy," alias Jerome Clark, a noted 
guerrilla was executed. We heard the drum and saw people 
going to the terrible sight-seeing. 

Received Government tickets for furlough. 

Day before yesterday listened to an interesting lecture in 
our chapel by Dr. J. S. Newbery, Sanitary agent of Louis- 
ville. Subject — California. 

Powell, of Adams County, Indiana, died last night. Write 
and send lock of hair as usual, to his wife. Also, for Samuel 
B. Sefton who died in Ward 7, formerly from this ward. For 
the former, two days since, I read the j'^rs^ letter he had ever 
received in his life. He is Xwenty-six years of age, has a wife 
and two children. 

The paymaster has been here and some of the boys have 
had too much of him. A quarrel to-night in my ward, and a 
fight in Ward 6, in which two men were shot. The guard- 
house is full. Pity the sutler could not be tied up by his 
thumbs in the place of one who has had too much of his heer (?) 
Coaxed away a jar of brandy peaches from one of my pa- 
tients and substituted canned peaches. Had I not, some three 
or four of the patients would have been too tipsey for their 
own self-possession in a short time and seen the guard-house 
before morning. 
31 



182 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

March 19. 

A sad cjay, for us all. Dr. C. our ward surgepn, received 
orders to Teport for duty to I^ashvilje. The patients are all 
very sad, ^nd he feels the parting also. We improvised a lit 
tie oyster sujDper after the table was cleared of the full diet, 
for Ijhe ward-master and the old nurses. A torn, table cloth 
fi'om that Sanitary-box of rags, was cut in two for the narrow 
pine board, and looked quite like civilized life. "We had oys- 
ters, a can of peaches, fresh butter and crackers, purchased of 
the sutler, and had a sadly lengthened, meal. He.^oes in the 



March 22. " '■ ■ ' 

One of the young nurses in the ward, wlio told me yester- 
day moruin^ that he "had to get tipsey for th^ first time yet 
in his life," was last night unable to walk straight, and distin- 
guished himself by talking loud, enacting the braggadocio by 
that, and by kickiug over spittopns. He was .'coaxed off to 
bed at^ the tents, to prevent his being ^aken to tlie guard- 
house. This morning, the boys were joking hini as I entered 
the ward, when he said they " all talked as if he was drunk, 
when he wasn't at all. But Charley told him that " a man 
must be pretty far gone when he would feel his own pulse to 
see whether he was dead or not," which he had confessed do- 
ing the day before when he woke up at the tents, " Ipecause he 
had felt so strangely." Jehu confesses that though never in 
the guard-house for di'inking, yet he served considerable of 
his time in one while at Memphis, but says that it was all on 
account of the pigs, turkeys and chickens iu Tennessee, that 
they would bite a fellow so that he was obliged to kill tliem 
in self defence." 

" That's so," says Willie B. most seriously, and with an 
ominous shake of his head, upon which he wears a famous 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 183 

white cap of my making, to hide his shaven crown, and snap- 
ping that one keen eye of his, " I declare if them Tennessee 
pigs and chickens don't beat everything. I tell you a fellow 
has to stand on his guard there, or they'd eat him up ! " 

Willie, by the by, says-heh^s "lost the last cap I made 
for him to wear o'nights, and he suspects the executive offi- 
cer must have confiscated it, when he was round on inspec- 
tion, last Sunday morning." 

A humorous patient,. who professed to rejoice in the initials 
of D. G. W. G. H. A., and the corresponding short name 
of Don Garabaldi Ulysses Gabriel Hall Adams, has been tan- 
talizing my pencil, ope naoment by very interesting recitals of 
hair-breadth escapes as a spy and among guerrillas, and the 
next by assuring me with equal gravity that he 16 first cousin 
to Gen, Grant, second to Sherman and third to Garibaldi, or 
something else equally incredible. 



i .J 
I 



184 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



CHAPTER XI. 

Jefferson Hospital, March 27, 1865. 

" You can charge it to the Sanitary ! " 

Now it came to pass these words were spoken upon this 
wise : the sanitary carriage had started out from the hospital 
when we saw two men — the elder carrying a portmanteau and 
evidently the father — the other, a pale, emaciated invalid, who 
with feeble and uncertain steps was following. The carriage 
halted. " Wont you ride, and where do you wish to go ? " 
were the queries. These elicited the facts that the son was 
wounded, had two ribs broken, had had gangrene, had ob- 
tained a special transfer to Camp Denison near his home, and 
his father had come for him. After some hesitation the sick 
boy entered the carriage and was taken to the ferry. As his 
father helped him out he inquired, somewhat nervously, prob- 
ably rating the fare in proportion to the easy cushions, 

"What is the bill?" 

" You can charge it to the Sanitary," said the little lady as 
she wheeled the ponies. 

Yes, Northern friends, if that dear one of yours who has 
been sick or wounded and in hospital, is ever nursed back to 
health and life, and restored to your arms again — bearing 
honorable scars it may be, or the loss of an arm or limb, but 
your darling and a hero nevertheless — if the truth were 
known, you could often " charge it to the Sanitary." And 
even he might not have known it himself. We deal out in 
such bounteous measure the gifts of the good genius, that often 
we do not think to say to the recipient, " This is a Sanitary 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 185 

carriage you take your first ride for months, io this morning,' 
or " this is a Sanitary" sling, shirt or handkerchief, pad, pillow 
or crutch." And the fresh egg, lemon, orange, apj^le-butter, 
blackberry jam, canned peaches,, berries, or the cordial, jelly, 
wine or , green tea, maj, not oftep come with the word Sani- 
tary ; but if he says it " makes him think of home," we often 
tell him it came from there, if home means North, East or 
"West, Some go down even to the gates of death and are 
won back by these agencies in the hands of a loving father^ 
without knowing it, while still others are deeply sensitive ot 
both the presence and the shield from death. 

" I know that dried beef saved my life," said a sufferer in 
the gangrene ward, " I could not, positively, eat a mouthful ot 
anything for days, till Mrs. B. cooked me some of that. Then 
she brought me some every day till my appetite came for 
other things." Another pale, emaciated man — a Frenchman, 
in the same ward, said the same ,thing of potato soup and 
green tea, who I found had eaten nothing previously for four 
da-ys. Said a German, in the same place, under whose arm I 
put a soft cotton pad, " Oh ! I wouldn't take ten dollars for 
that pad, it is so nice, and my arm was getting so bed sore 
lying on these hard husks ! " 

This same pad, by the by, had come from some aid society 
filled with rags — not a very soft cushion for a wound to lie 
on. I had thrown the rags away and substituted cotton. 
Pads will do very well as props, filled with straw or hay, if 
there are cotton ones \o lay above, next the limb, but rags had 
better be sold as such, rather than pay transportation thereon. 
Of course I shall not be understood as referring to white 
rags which are large enough to dress wounds, those never 
come amiss. But do not mark boxes or barrels containing 
those as " bandages," the latter being much more plentiful 
than the former. 
32 



186 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

" I do believe I would be willing to give ten dollars for a 
a feather pillow to lay my bead on to-night," said that young 
hero " Willie " who had run away from bloodhounds in 
Alabama, and whose shaven head was throbbing with the 
disfiguring erysipelas. He had the pillow, and it came with- 
out money and without price, a gift from some noble, unknown 
Northern lady. 

" God bless them," have I mentally ejaculated scores of 
times upon such occasions, or when the jams, the pickles, 
peaches, berries, or other delicacy, was the only thing which 
the palate would not refuse, and by which could be coaxed 
back the appetite. Oh, if they could only know and see, as 
we do, the lives sai^^ed, or the hours lengthened, comforted 
and cheered, they would not let the aid society run down, and 
the cucumbers and tomatos become the victim of King Frost 
or procrastination. They would not spend so much time in 
talk over their tea, of this husband or that son, but would 
work, if peradventure the fortunes of war should throw that 
son or husband into the channel of this bounty. They would 
not cease their labor of love because this one or that one had 
returned with the story that he had been in hospitals, and 
never had anything from the Sanitary, with his wise opinion' 
that the surgeons and nurses were the only recipients. If he 
were closely questioned or his clothes examined, the scrutiny 
might betray the fact, that stationery and reading matter 
at least had come to him by that source, if he was not even 
then using a sling, crutch, handkerchief or shu't bearing the 
mark of some aid society. Or the complainant may have 
been situated somewhat as those of the 8th and 18th Indiana 
regiments, which have been constantly travelling, and never 
accessible to Sanitary stores for four years, until now, at Sa- 
vannah, they have received a perfect God-send, and have 
occasion to use, as we are informed, the biggest word a soldier 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 187 

can say when overjoyed, " Bully ! " Or lie may have been 
honest in his convictions and truthful in his statements, for he 
might not have been needy. 

Would you have your son, who perhaps was only suffering 
for a few days through exhaustion and exposure, or a slight 
flesh wound, who needed only rest, and whose appetite was 
good, eat the berries which might save the life of one in 
whose veins the fever had rioted for months, because you 
sent them. Or, if he had money with which to buy, would 
you have those warm socks, or flannels given to him, while 
that shivering, rheumatic patient, or the one convalescing from 
fever, and who has not received a dollar of pay in six months, 
went without because you sent them ? Of course, you would 
not. You would prefer that your son should go through his 
whole life, with his j^resent excellent opinion of surgeons and 
nurses. 

The Sanitary stores are not so inexhaustable, nor the army 
so few in numbers that the former professes to sujiply fruit- 
cake and waffles to every mother's son who chances to stop a 
few days in a hospital. 

Again, the world in a hospital is much like that outside. 
It has its share of grumblers and ungrateful ones, albeit there 
are those who cherish the idea that every soldier is one of na- 
ture's noblemen. Although there are many such who will 
meet you with a grateful smile in the morning, and the words 
that they are "getting better," while only close inquiry will 
reveal the fact that extreme pain has kept them awake all 
night, and banished peace by day, yet there are also libellers 
upon the character of noblemen. Among such are some who 
enter the army as substitutes, or volunteers for the bounty, 
who knew they were diseased to such an extent, that they 
would serve most of their time in a hospital. 

Of this class will come limping up to the surgeon, one who 



188 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

is grievously afflicted with "rheumatism," whining that he 
has "been in the service three months, and hasn't had a fur- 
lough yet ! " One such wished me to intercede for him. He 
" shoukhi't care so much about going home, but his wife wasn't 
expected to live." So a letter just received had informed 
him. I read it and found it written by the lady herself, while 
inquiry revealed the fact that she "wasn't expected to live'* 
when he volunteered, hut that the town was offering a high 
bounty just then. 

Another, who had " aphonia," when the surgeon was near, 
but who could speak loud enougl;i when complaining of his 
food, or begging me for canned fruit, and because, he did not get 
it sneered at the idea of sick soldiers ever getting Sanitary 
stores. Wlien he found there were those who could read 
him, he concluded he might as well get up, and he soon was 
sent to his proper place, " the front." 

Another, who had been nursed up from the grave's mouth 
with delicacies and flannels, sold the latter, before going home 
on furlough. And still another shot one of his own fingers 
off, in the battle at Nashville, to get off the field. He was 
the recipient of much sympathy, on account of his hand, be- 
ing threatened with gangrene and amputation ; but had the 
facts been known before he was transferred to Louisville, I 
verily believe I should have been tempted to try w^hat my 
conversational powers might do toward quizzing him to death. 

*' This mutton is poor substitute for chicken," said a grum- 
bler in one of the wards, as the lady carried his dinner to 
him. , . 

" Well, yes," she replied jDleasantly, " but I believe you 
have been a substitute for a well man, for some eight months, 
have you not?" He good-humoredly confessed that he had, 
and had received a thousand dollars for the substitution. But 
such, if really sick, must be cared for, as well as the more 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 189 

worthy. Indeed, even a Confederate should not suffer at our 
hands, notwithstanding the brutality shown our loyal boys at 
Andersonville, and Libby. 

It has truly been such a great pleasure to distribute that 
nice supply of stores brought to me by Rev. D. P. Liver- 
more. The stock of flannel and canned fruit is nearly gone, 
as the distribution has not been confined to my own ward, but 
I believe it has not been misapplied. Blessings on the several 
donors and the agencies through which they came. Let us 
not be weary in well-doing, while the war lasts, for the end 
Cometh. Some must " repair the breach, and build up the 
waste places afterward," but there will be no fitter time in 
which to make one of that number, who, when the All-Fa- 
ther Cometh to make up his jewels, may hear the blessing : 
" Inasmuch as ye did it unto one of the least of these, ye did 
it unto me." 

Indianapolis, Ind., April 22, 1866. 

A day of mourning in the calendar of a nation." A great 
grief sits sobbing upon a nation's heart, for Lincoln is assassi- 
nated ! 

This morning, while Miss C. and I were dressing. Miss T. 
rushed into the room with blanched face and exclaimed with 
grieved voice, " Oh ! girls have you heard the dreadful news ?' * 
She knew we had not if she had thought, for she had left the 
room but a moment before, and she continued " Lincoln is as- 
sassinated, and his son and Secretary Seward." So the tele- 
gram at first was interpreted. It was a terrible shock, and I 
felt how almost as nothing in comparison would be the result 
of the death of the dearest friend or relative I had, and be- 
lieve then I could have given my own life could it have re- 
stored his life for the country. Little has been done by any 
of us to-day. Toward evening we three visited the hospital 



190 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

and saw all along the way, wealth and poverty, the mansion 
and the hovel displaying symbols of grief. The man of talent 
remembers that the eloquent man, the counsellor, has fallen, 
while the man who returns at night with his ^aiij wages 
thinks with sorrow of that one, who from greater poverty 
than his own, has come to be the mourned of a nation. 

As for the lesson of this deed, I cannot soothe myself as do 
some, with the thought that Lincoln had done all he could in 
this war, that his heart was so tender he could not deal justly 
with traitors, and that his mantle has fallen upon one, who is 
"sufficient for these things." Instead, this climax to rebel 
atrocity, approached only by the starving of our brave boys 
in prison, seems to me to call for stern justice to be meted 
out. All the blood and treasure of the last four years de- 
mands it, and now this brother's hlood crieth to us from the 
ground. Will it be heard, or will rebel traitors take their 
seats in congress to make laws for those who have shouldered 
their rifles in defence of law and against traitors and assas- 
sins ? We shall see ! 

Jefferson, Hospital, May 3. 

" A hospital is no place to form attachments," said one lady 
in this hospital to another. The former had surj^rised the 
latter in a sudden flood of tears, in the pantry of Ward 1. 
The occasion was the arrival of that order for the " kitchen 
man, and chief wound-dresser," of said ward to report to their 
own State, New Jersey. 

Perhaps it is not wise to form attachments, but if they 
grow themselves, as between a mother and sick child, with 
every cry of pain, or bestowal of attention, what is, one, to do 
about it ? It is quite inconvenient sometimes, I admit. But I 
would like to see one who is created with that troublesome 
thing, a heart, and who takes care of patients, from the; time 



HOSi»iTAL PENCILLINGS. 191 

they are brought in just from the front, looking more like 
wild brigands from the mountains, or Indian trappers from the 
frontier, so far as hair or whiskers are concerned, but acting 
more like babies, or, it may be, like very sick but stout-heart- 
ed heroes, but who after they are bathed, provided with clean 
clothes and bed, and the superfluous hair and whiskers re- 
moved, turn out respectable-looking, civilized beings, up to 
the time when the departed appetite is coaxed back, and when 
by pleasant conversation, letter Writing and reading the relax- 
ed nerves recover their tone and grim death is fairly beaten 
back, who at first had a mortgage upon them, — let such an one 
have a care for the feet on scrubbing days, when they are able 
to sit up, and muffle them for a ride in the Sanitary carriage, 
to get a fresh breath and sight out of doors, the first for 
months, and just when she knows that a sudden relapse might 
take them away, to have an order come for a transfer to Quincy, 
Keokuk, or Washington, and she would probably, feel the 
" attachment,^' if she possessed that troublesome thing, a heart. 
And, by tiie by, I happen to know that this same Miss B. 
who gave the caution, has in possession a pretty good-sized 
article of the same kind herself. 

It happens that my large family of boys, being under the 
guardianship of their Uncle Sam, are liable at any time to be 
torn from my maternal oversight, to go either to hospitals 
elsewhere, or to their own regiments. I derive, however a 
sort of savage pleasure, from the evident and acknowledged 
fact that they "hate it," as the Egyptians say, as badly as I 
do. 

And the separation may be equally felt under other circum. 
stances. This is the case in the transfer of those whose pre- 
sence seems indispensable to the gOod of the patients. To 
wounded men, who have learned to have confidence in the 
skill, care and tenderness of a wound-dresser, it seems little 



192 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

^ less than cruelty to send him away, and substitute one new 
and inexperienced, especially when a little less care than usual 
may inoculate the wound with erysipelas, or gangrene. 

Or it may be one to whom we have all looked up as a 
counsellor, whose rich humor and dry jokes were a never-fail- 
ing fund of enjoyment to the patients, and who was a walking 
enclyclopedia for their benefit and my own, and who with 
such an influence in the ward, treated me with the greatest 
respect before all, with such fatherly forethought, and whose 
child-like innocence was a constant reproof to any thought of 
wrong. 

Not a surgeon, ward-master, or nurse remains of those who 
were here six months ago, while some of the nurses are in 
hospitals elsewhere, and most in the position of patients. 

Well, the work and care for the sick boys, with this tearing 
of the heart-strings every few days, didn't seem to have a very 
beneficial influence upon health and nerves. " Pale, care- 
worn and thin," was the verdict of others, while myself only 
knew the extent of the malady and the need of rest, when I 
found that twice I had actually cried like a child, because loud 
talking in the night and building fires before reveille in the 
morning, had waked me. Not having for some time been 
able to sit up all day, though attending to my duties in the 
ward, and as transfers had taken nearly all the sick men, 
chancing to leave convalescents, I decided to run away for a 
little time, where I could rest, eat and sleejD. Dreading the 
long jaunt north to my friends, I accepted the urgent invita- 
tion from a lady friend and co-worker, to visit her people, 
near Pendleton, Ind., and procured a furlough of twenty days. 
No sick soldier could have been more thoughtfully cared for 
in the home of Mr. Neal Hardy, than was I. This neigh- 
borhood itself has abounded in works of charity to our sick 
soldiers during the war, and many boxes and barrels packed 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 193 

by the hands of Mrs. H. have glacltlened many an invalid sol- 
dier. I had there good nourishing food, of which I was 
greatly in need, for if, as is reported North, the surgeons, 
stewards and nurses eat all the sanitary stores, our " ladies' 
mess," has certainly foiled to obtain its share of the plunder. 
But the nourishing food I found on my furlough, with sleep ^ 
freedom from care, and genial companionship, when I wished 
to avail myself of it, for the time being, wrought a cure. 

Upon my return, had expected the patients would be glad 
to see me, but had scarcely looked for so warm a welcome as 
was received. The next eve, we had a nice supper for the 
patients of Ward 1. Daring my furlough, the good friends 
donated a box of eatables for the use of my ward and for that 
of the lady at whose house I had been visiting. Just before 
supper, Miss H. and myself surprised the boys by carrying 
several articles into our pantry, and preparing for the table 
goodies which had not appeared on the printed list as " full diet." 
An old table cloth and sheet which came from Chicago in that 
box of sanitary rags, was torn into strips and placed on our 
three long narrow tables. Three or four were watching me. 

" Boys, we're going to try if we cannot make you think 
you're at home to-night." 

" Well, I declare it'll be the first time I've sat down to a 
table-cloth in eighteen months," said one. " And the first 
time I have, in three years," said another. " Its the first time 
in nearly four years for me," said a third. 

Then the plates were turned down, and the food put on 
other plates and in bowls, instead of being dealt out on each 
plate, as is usual here before setting down. The Chaplain's 
orderly was present, Mr. Bullard, of Illinois, who was for- 
merly a patient in our ward. After a blessing was asked, 
the food was passed, but at first every thing was so strange 
that all were glum and silent. 
33 



194 HOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 

It was evident we were to have a solemn time, only to be 
remembered by them as one in which there was "a putting 
on of too much style for comfort," as they would have ex- 
pressed it, so they were told the intention was to make them 
feel at home, and if they were there they would surely talk, 
and as we had plenty of time, we would try to have a social 
time as well as a good supper. Whereupon our theological 
student, who has since left to receive a 1st Lieutenant's 
shoulder-straps, timidly remarked, that, " The trouble is^ 
most of the b.oys think they're out taking tea somewhere, and 
durstiiH say anything." Then " Bart," as he is familiarly 
called, looked around, and said hastily, as if grudging the 
time occupied in speaking, and with his half-lisping accent, 
" Boys, I'm intending to say something of considerable impor- 
tance 2^retty soon, but I'm too busy with my supper just now." 

This helped break the ice, for the boys feel bound to laugh 
whenever Bart says anything. Soon, leaving the room for a 
forgotten article, I charged them not to speak aloud until my 
return, and appointed a monitor. Upon my entrance, our 
" little artist," Hugo, in that tone of complaint used by chil- 
dren to their teachers, in the school-room, said that, " Bart 
Smith commenced it, for he said he wished the lady nurses 
would go away on furlough every week." Of course it was 
necessary to rebuke him for wishing our absence, when in a 
tone of conciliation he informed us that he " knew'" he " said 
that, but had said also that he wished them to come back the 
next day." 

This, with the entrance of Miss Buckel and another lady, 
who contributed to the pleasantry, made them completely at 
home, and every one seemed thoroughly to enjoy the supper. 
The regular diet for the meal, which was sent, was merely 
" bread, stewed apples, and tea." The apples were saved to 
add to their breakfast, and apple-butter supplied in their place. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 195 

In addition, we had fresh butter, horse-radish, berries, cake 
and chickens, with sugar for tea. 

This much for the supper. May it not have been a link in 
that chain of " attachment," by which many an old soldier in 
the years to come shall feel bound to the large family of 
brothers and one sister in Ward 1 ? 



Mat 8. 

Nations are divided, thrones totter, confederates are cap- 
tured and hospitals are broken up ! Consequently, every- 
body is on the tiptoe of expectation, or in the slough of des- 
pondency, over the coming sej)aration. It is somewhat curi- 
ous to note the changes and effects of the order commanding the 
discharge of all soldiers except veterans or those under medi- 
cal treatment. Some of the former try to pass themselves 
off as later recruits, to the infinite disgust of the official who 
questions them ; while others immediately " throw physic to 
the dogs," to prove that they are not under treatment. Every 
possible rumor is afloat. It is even whispered by soldiers 
that the " dignitaries " begin to have an inkling of the fact 
that it will not be long before they will have no more author- 
ity than " high privates," and have relaxed a trifle from their 
dignity — I am, however, not responsible for the truth of this, 
and learned sometime since to my own edification, that women 
are not the only gossips. 

Some of the wards here have been closed, and the patients 
transferred to others. Consequent!}^, some of the lady nurses 
are as wholly lost and inconsolable as a mother-hen, who, by 
some terrible calamity, has been cruelly deprived of every 
darling chicken. We, who have thus suffered, do not much 
care whether the world stands any longer or not, our house- 
keeping has been cruelly broken up, and we should doubtless 



196 HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 

tlirow ourselves into the Ohio and thus drown our sorrows, 
were it not that said river is altogether too muddy just now. 

The effects of said " order " upon the soldiers, as appearing 
in my own ward, are with little variation, no doubt, the same 
as throughout the hospital. 

Our patients had been tranferred to Ward 2, to give oppor- 
tunity for floor-planing and white-washing. But all who 
could walk, made frequent " visits home," indeed, extending 
to visitations, and two boys, Willie and our " little artist," 
could not sleep a wink the first two nights, and were allowed 
the privilege of sleeping at home a few times. One morning, 
while our floor was in process of planing, upon entering the 
ward, I found the tools thrown aside, and all seated in a 
group, reading and discussing a Louisville daily. All were 
jubilant, and eager to tell me the news. 

" Can't work," said one, " too much good news for one day ! 
Johnson is taken, and we hospital bummers are to be sent 
home," said another. 

" It's wicked to work any more, an order has come for all 
Government work to be stopped," said a third. " Gold- 
smith's Corps will soon be on the wing." 

" Boys let's pile the shavings in the middle of the floor and 
have a bonfire," suggested the one who bears the name of 
" Gen. Grant." 

By the way, very few men in camp, or hospital are called 
by their names. Instead, we have " Gen. Thomas," " Cavalry," 
" Artillery," " Michigan," " Connecticut," " Georgia," " Long- 
street," " Infant," " Lengthy," and " Bantie," the last four 
named from their height, or want of the same. Other States 
have their representatives by name, while occasionally so sug- 
gestive a title as that of '' The Spread Eagle," is overheard 
while the owner is at a safe distance. 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 197 

Mat 15. 

Our flower gardens are now absorbing tbe attention of the 
ladies and convalescents. The arrangement of the hospital is 
such that there is sufficient space for one between each ward. 
In this respect, at least, this must be superior to the " Chest- 
nut Hill," hospital, of Philadelphia, as these wards, radiating 
like the spokes of a wheel from a circular corridor, not only 
permit the addition, for the comfort and cheer of the invalids, 
of fresh flowers and the sight of a green-sward close to their 
w^indows, but also superior ventillation. It is to be hoped 
that so long as a hospital is needed for sick soldiers, this will 
be taken for no other purpose. And when no longer needed 
for the sick, what place could be found more suitable for a 
^' Soldier's Home," for the loyal boys of Indiana ? 

The flower gardens were, by Major Goldsmith, given over 
to the superintendence of Miss Buckel, who has charge of the 
ladies here. She preferred that those of each ward should 
originate and carry into effect their own plans, while she pro- 
cured shrubbery, seeds, and plants for all. None have refus- 
ed to whom she has applied, and most have responded liber- 
ally. One gentleman from Chicago, donated $25 worth of 
rakes and trowels. 

The friends at some Aid Society, I think in Ohio, con- 
tributed a very large and choice collection of seeds, at the re- 
quest of a patient, Chas. Erickson, in our own ward. These 
were shared by all the ward gardens. 

I am sometimes amused at the diiFerence it makes with the 
patients as to who asks them to work. Most of them say 
they are not going to stay long enough to see the gardens after 
they are finished, and they don't care to work for nothing. 
Those in our ward often refuse to work upon being requested 
by the ward-master, who will nevertheless work nearly all 
day. Others run away from work elsewhere, as on the chapel, 
34 



198 HOSPITAL rENCILLIXGS. 

or the garden around it, both in care of Chaplain Olmstead, 
and work in our own garden. This morning we were mus- 
tering our little force, and I was in the garden when the 
ward-master came and said that " Jehu had sworn he wouldn't 
work a bit to-da}", but that as he was as well able as the rest, 
and as he had received orders to jDut all in the guard-house 
who would not work, he should certainly send him there, un- 
less he changed his mind." 

After cautioning him not to let J. know that he had told 
me this, I stejDped to the window near which I had just left 
him as I passed through the ward, taj^ped on. the pane, and 
said, " Jehu, do you suppose I can get you to help me trim 
this sod around the beds ?" 

" Yes, of course you can," he exclaimed energetically, and 
springing up he ran to the ward-master for the keys to the 
pantry to get each of us a knife for the purpose, and then 
jumped from the corridor window and helped me until the 
work was finished. 

Then Miss B. came to say that we could have carts and 
mules to draw sod, if I could find drivers and sod cutters. 

" Three have volunteered," I said, wonder where I can find 
another ?" 

" Why, you can get me, if you want me,'^ said Jehu, earn- 
estly. 

He went and worked well all the forenoon, but in the af- 
ternoon, word came that he had refused to do anything more, 
and was asleep under a tree. " Tell J. for me," was the word 
sent, " I wish to know if he won't please help us a little while 
longer, as we may not be able to get the carts tomorrow." 

It was sufficient, six carts of sod were cut by him, and one 
other. 

The work was at first somewhat delayed by the scarcity of 
tools, and since by heavy rains, but is steadily progressing. 



HOSPITAL TEXCILLINGS. 199 

Some gardens are finished, or nearly so. We liave quite a 
variety in style, from that which bears the cognomen of " Meth- 
odist," or " Quaker," to the one which will contain only our 
'' Star Spangled* Banner," with its stripes in red and white 
flowers, blue for the ground of the corner, and shells for the 
stars. I do hope all this labor is not destined to be trampled 
under foot by those wdio do not so appreciate, or need it, as 
do sick men. 

At first but few volunteered to do the work among the con- 
valescents, but soon others became interested, and in some 
wards the excitement was such that some men even choose 
rainy days to go down town, rather than working ones. This 
interest, with the enthusiasm from the prospect of a speedy 
return home, has occasionally led to scenes and conversations 
really amusing. Sometimes a number of States have their 
representative by name, who w^ork with a will to prove that 
" Massachusetts can do the most spading," or that " Michigan 
can't be beat at sodding." In our garden, they were one af- 
ternoon engaged in erecting a large mound in the centre. 
Some one of the members had tied a newspaper to the end 
of a pole and hoisted it. 

" Boys, you are not working as you would, if really throw- 
ing up breastworks under the guns of the enemy," said one 
of the patients from an open window. 

Just then it chanced that there was the report of fire-arms 
at no great distance. Two as suddenly reeled, one falling to 
his knees, but recovering his feet ran for the pole which had 
fallen, and planting it firmly, called out, 

" Ilumy up, boys, here's our flag of truce, and the enemy 
will respect it." 

They then did work as though under the guns of the enemy, 
and the mound was soon finished. 

But little has been done here for the forthcoming great 



200 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

Sanitary Fair at Chicago, in consequence of this great work 
of the gardens, though much interest might easily be aroused 
and work done, if the ladies had not these to occupy head and 
hand. One life-like sketch of " The TrapjJer's Last Shot " 
is nearly finished for the fair, by " our little artist " Hugo. 
It might be interesting to the future purchaser could he know 
that since commencing the sketch the artist has had gangrene 
in one of his wounds, and has done much of it while sitting 
upon his bed, and when it was not prudent to exercise by 
walking. I shall envy the fortunate possessor of the picture, 
although the one from which the sketch is made is in my own 
possession. 

Mat 24. 

No sick men in my ward. It has been filled up with de- 
tailed men from the tents. Most of our former patients re- 
main in Ward 2, and I assist Mrs. D. in care of them ; besides 
which the only patient of Ward 8 is left to my care, as the 
lady has gone. 

An order came sometime since for the discharge of all 
hospital attendants not absolutely needed. In pursuance of 
this order seven ladies have received their discharges, and the 
last except one of them go to-night. There are some four- 
teen remaining. 

One of the " Willies," whose home is only eight miles dis- 
tant, and who has tried for six months to get a furlough, has 
just returned from a second '• French " furlough. Nobody 
missed him, who would report the same. 

This morning four ladies went over to Louisville in an am- 
bulance, the principal errand of two of us to purchase some 
little gift for Miss B. It was a beautiful wrouoht silver card 
case, which somebody had the pleasure of presenting at the 
tea-table this evening with the words : 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 201 

" Miss B , I have been requested by tlie ladies to pre- 
sent you with a small token of our esteem. In years to 
come, when thinking of your cares and duties here, may this 
little gift assure you that the responsibilities and difficulties 
of your position, and the faithfulness with which you have 
discharged them have not been unappreciated. The gift is 
small, but we believe you will value it nevertheless." 

She had been met as she was leaving the table, and as the 
gift was in a morocco case she took it and said, " I accept it 
and will run away to see what it is." She soon returned and 
simply and naturally expressed thanks and admiration for the 
gift, and added playfully that she would " keep it as long as 
she lived and then will it to her grand-children." 

Mat 29. 

Presentations seem the order of the times. Quite a num- 
of the ladies have been so honored by the patients of their 
wards. This afternoon I took my sewing down to the ward 
and was soon surprised to see Mr. Davis come hobbling in on 
crutches from Ward 2, who had not been in the ward, and hard- 
ly off his bed for two months. Then several others who had 
been patients here suddenly dropped in, as well as some others 
of Ward 2, and when Bart and Hugo came in on their 
crutches, I thought it rather a queer coincidence that they 
should all happen in so soon after I had entered, but supposed 
the beauty of the day and the desire for one more of those 
pleasant chats, which were so soon to be broken up, were the 
causes. But in a moment more it was explained by the en- 
trance of the young man called " Kentucky " — Wm. Garrett 
— bearing a box from which he took a nice photograph album? 
of a size to hold one hundred pictures, and a ring, with my 
name engraven upon each, and which he presented with a few 
appropriate words, and with an easy, natural manner. They 



202 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

were assured that the recipient was not much accustomed to 
speech-making, but that no gift could have been more accept- 
able than the album, especially when it should contain the 
faces of the donors. The ring was found to be a perfect fit, 
and some wonder was expressed, but all were perfectly inno- 
cent and nobody knew anything more about it than parents 
do when that wonderful genius of children, Santa Claus, is 
making his annual visit. Then I chanced to recollect that 
Miss B. had tried my ring on some time before, and some 
whispering had occurred at the door upon the taking of a box 
from her room, when I chanced to be there two days since. 

June 1. 

Next day after the last date I went down town early in the 
morning, purchased strawberries and made a strawberry 
short-cake for tea. It was very nice, greatly complimented, 
and by some who had never seen one before, but who were 
going to have their " wives make one as soon as they got 
home." In addition we had green tea with milk and sugar — ► 
a great treat here — stewed prunes, cooked tomatos, very nice 
dried beef and cookies. All old patients of our ward were 
invited throughout the hospital, with the ward-master and 
nurses of Ward 2. Some few days since we also had a pleas- 
ant little time with strawberries and cream provided by Mrs. 
Dixon in Ward 2. 

The hospital is being thinned out quite fast, but much too 
slow for the patience of most of the soldiers. Nearly every 
day I am called to part with some one or more of the. old 
patients. 

It is, as was predicted, about those several hundred volumes 
being kept for a reading-room to be finished and fitted up, 
and the soldiers deprived of their use. Thousands have 
passed through the hospital this past eigh^ months, and those 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 203 

books have been boxed up which might have given occupa- 
tion, relief from home-sickness, to say nothing of mental, 
moral or spiritual improvement to invalid soldiers. What 
books Chaplain Fitch had in charge have heen freely dis- 
tributed, but they were few in number and of very little va- 
riety. There has been some pressure brought to bear of late 
by some ladies and others, and by the offer of Rev. H. F. 
Miller, Agent of Universalist Army Mission, to bring his 
library, which may result in the unboxing of the books at the 
eleventh hour. 

A very pleasant reading-room has just been fitted up by the 
ladies, in one of the vacant wards, and Chaplain Fitch has 
procured the loan of two libraries from the Christian Com- 
mission. This is very pleasant and is greatly enjoyed by the 
patients who make it a resort for reading, writing, chatting, 
or the amusement of checkers, chess and backgammon. Pic- 
tures adorn the walls, there are plants in blossom, and each 
day is a beautiful bouquet contributed from one of the ward 
gardens for the hanging flower-vase. All enjoy this very 
much ; but it only reminds some of us of what might have 
been all winter, had the one who had the chapel and library 
in his hands have so willed it. I understand that several 
thousand dollars were placed in the Chaplain's hands by the 
Sanitary or Christian Commission for the purpose, and which 
has been of no comparative benefit. 

Walking along the corridor one rainy day of late I picked 
up a wee little book with the following revery, entitled 

A RAINY DAY IN CAMP. 

It's a cheerless, lonesome evening, 

When tlie soaking sodden ground 
Will not echo to the foot-fall 

Of the sentinel's dull round. 



204 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

God's blue star-spangled banner 
To-nigbt is not unfurled ; 

Surely He has not deserted 
This weary, warring world. 

I peer into the darkness, 

And the crowding fancies come ; 

The night-\\'ind blowing Northward, 
Carries all my heart toward home. 

For I 'listed in this army, 
Not exactly to my mind ; 

But my country called for helpers, 
And I couldn't stay behind. 

So I've had a sight of drilling, 
And have roughed it many ways. 

And Death has nearly had me. 
Yet I think the service pays. 

It's a blessed sort of feeling. 
That though you live or die. 

You have helped your bleeding country. 
And fought right loyaly. 

But I can't help thinking sometimes. 
When a wet day's leisure comes, 

That I hear the old home voices. 
Talking louder than the drums. 

And the far, familiar faces 
Peep in at the tent door, 

And the little children's footsteps 
Go pit-pat on the floor. 

I can't help thinking, somehow, 
Of what the Parson reads, 

All about that other warfare, 
Which every true man leads. 

And wife, soft-hearted creature. 
Seems a saying in my ear, 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 205 

" I'd ratlier have you in those ranks, 
Than to sec you Brigadier." 

I call myself a brave one, 

But in my heart I lie ! 
For my country and her honor 

I am fiercely free to die ; 

But when the Lord who bought me 

Asks for my service here, 
To " fight the good fight " faithfully, 

I'm skulking in the rear. 

And yet I know this Captain 

All love and care to be : 
He would never get impatient 

With a raw recruit like me. 

And I know He'd not forget me 

When the Day of Peace appears ; 
I should share with him the victory 

Of all His volunteers. 

And it's kind of cheerful, thinking, 

Beside the dull tent fire. 
About that big promotion. 

When He says, " Come up higher ! " 

And though it's dismal, rainy, 

Even now, with thoughts of Him, 
Camp life looks extra cheery, 

And death a deal less grim. 

For I seem to see him waiting. 

Where a gathered Heaven greets 
A great victorious army, 

Surging up the golden streets ; 

And I hear him read the roll-call. 

And my heart is all aflame. 
When the dear Recording Angel 

Writes down my happy name ! 



35 



206 HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 

But my fire is dead white ashes, 

And the tent is chilling cold, 
And I'm playing win the battle, 

When I've never been enrolled. 

In Thine army vast receive me, 

Thou Saviour of the world ! 
And I'll follow wlieresoever 

Thy banner is unfurled. 

Oh, give me zeal and courage, 

My heart and life renew, 
That I firmly to my signet 

May set that Thou art true. 

To reach the Eternal City, 

I'll brave Death's sullen flood, 
My Saviour crossed before me, 

I'll triumph through his blood ! 

JUXJE!. 13. 

Many things of interest occur which I have neglected to 
note. The truth is, am getting ill again. Have been so sor- 
ry to see former symptoms all coming back, as it is a sign that 
I must leave the hosjDital. But of late have really not been 
able to sit up all day, and am kept awake at night by a cough. 
My lungs have been examined by Miss B , who pro- 
nounces the left affected, and prescribes " Hygeine and Cali- 
fornia." Think I shall take a dose of both. Have made ap- 
plication for discharge to be given in one week. 

Four other ladies and myself have of late been filling out 
discharges at headquarters. Several convalescents are de- 
tailed also, and with the clerks proper we are making out the 
mustering-out rolls of from fifty to sixty men each day. 
There are eight of these papers filled out for each man, be- 
sides the discharge proper. 

One day not long since, while busied with sewing in my 



HOSPITAL PENCILLING S. 207 

ward, several were relating incidents of their experience, two 
or three of which I will mention. Mr. J. of the gangrene 
ward said, that once when with his regiment, Wolford's Cav- 
alry, and near the line of Virginia and Tennessee, a woman 
in front of her house watched them for some time, and then 
asked, " Whar be yoii'ns from anyhow ?" 
" From Ohio," was the reply. 

" La, now," that 'Hio must be a mighty big town to have 
so many men in it, is it in Tennessee, or Cincinnati ?" 

At another place they formed in line of battle along the 
street, and in so doing sadly discomposed the lye apparatus of 
another woman. She was indignant. 

"Thars that Wolford's men come down yere, a creeter- 
backed, to fight weuns, and they formed a streak o' fight, and 
knocked over my new ash hopper what cost me ten dollars 
an' a half, and never paid me a cent ! " 

Another related the following incident. It was after a 
battle on the Mississippi River that a captain on one of the 
river steamers offered to carry free of charge a certain regi- 
ment who were engaged in the battle. At each trip many 
presented themselves as members of that regiment. At last 
one stepping on board reported himself as a member of the 
same, when the captain asked what office he held. 
" Not any," said the soldier, " I'm a high private." 
" Give us your hand," said the captain, "glad to make your 
acquaintance, sir ; for you are the first private I have met 
from the regiment — have passed up over two thousand, but 
they were all officers." 

To add my mite to the story-telling I related an incident 
which occurred while I was in Nashville, and which I heard 
related by the young minister concerned, and at the time of 
its occurrence. He had been engaged to perform the mar- 
riage ceremony at a certain hour for a couple of Refugees nt 



208 HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 



the Refugee Home. It was but a little distance, and as he 
started out, a few moments only past the appointed time, in 
company with another delegate, he saw the bridal pair with 
another couple coming. They met upon the lawn, and the 
young clergyman told them he would perform the marriage 
ceremony there if they wished. No objection was made, and 
it was accordingly done, when the minister wished the bride 
" happiness in the new relation," and she wished him the same. 
As tbey were about leaving the gentleman who accompanied 
the clergyman offered to shake hands with the young lady 
who came as bridesmaid, but suddenly withdrawing her hand 
with a frightened voice and manner she exclaimed, 

" Oh ! I don't want to be married — I ain't ready yet ! " 
During this conversation the door opened and Revs. Fitch 
and Miller entered, and the former said, with his characteristic 
gallantry, 

" This is a vacant ward, Mr. Miller, there's nobody in it, 
but you see what a crowd somebody always has around her," 
and then followed more nonsense upon the same subject, when 
he was informed that we had been listening to large stories 
from the soldiers, but had scarcely expected one from a chap- 
lain. 



Sabbath, June 18. 

My last day at the hospital. I leave to-morrow. Early 
this morning picked the last bouquet from our garden to place 
in the ward, and pulled the first mess of radishes therefrom 
and prepared for the table of Ward 2 for dinner. Besides 
flowers, these, with lettuces, were the only vegetables planted. 

Thought has been busied with retrospection to-day, and 
with the subject of woman's influence in a hospital. And 
notwithstanding that there is much feeling upon the subject 



HOSPITAL PENCILLIXGS. 209 

of her real or imagined interference with professional duties, 
yet there are very many wise and noble surgeons in the ser- 
vice who rightly appreciate woman's influence in a hospital, 
and have assisted her in every noble word and work. And a 
pure, true woman is amply repaid for working her way quietly 
and kindly against opposite influences, as she may feel assured 
that her efforts are blessed to the sick boys in her care. She 
is amply repaid if at the last she may so overcome the preju- 
dices of a physician as to hear him say what was said to one 
of the number : — 

" You have been a blessing to the patients and a help to 
me — have attended to your own duties as nurse without in- 
terfering with those of mine as physician. And there are 
those whose lives are due to your care. Some were very low 
with nervous prostration and nostalgia — another name for 
home-sickness — and your conversation and attention has 
aroused, cheered, strengthened and saved them." 

Or if she may hear from one and another patient, as the 
same one has when bidding them good-bye for the last time, 
such words as these : — 

" I shall never come down again as I did here to what I 
thought was my death-bed, with so little preparation. I'm 
going to make it a first business of my life to learn how to 
live, that I may not be afraid to die, and if ever I am a better 
man it will be due to your influence and your counsels. May 
God forever bless you ! " 

Or if one might have such a beautiful tribute to the worth 
of woman's presence among sick soldiers, as our friend Miss 
Miller, of Chicago, received on board the floating hospital 
called the Nashville, near Yicksburg. There had been no 
white woman on the boat previous to her arrival. One after- 
noon, as she stepped into one of the wards for the first time, 
her ear caught an exclamation of surprise from the inmate of 



210 



HOSPITAL PENCILLINGS. 



a bed not far distant, and turning in that direction she saw a 
sick soldier, with hands clasped and the great tears absolutely 
raining over his face, as he gratefully exclaimed : 

" Thank God ! — I can die easier now since I have seen a 
woman's face once more." 

And despite the multiform abuses which have stained the 
records through every department, during this great rebellion, 
there has been wrought out a greater good and higher destinj- 
for mankind, than we may well realize, and the former sink 
into insignificance in the majesty of its glorious presence. 
Like the jDoet, I 

" Have seen it in the watchfires 

Of an hundred circling camps ; " 

like him, have 



Read it in a fiery gospel, 

"Writ in burnished rows of steel, 

That God is marching on." 



And we know, though wrong and oppression do exist in high 
places, yet it was hot in vain that 

" They went forth to die ! 
Unnamed, unnumbered, like the desert sand. 
Blown to build up a bulwark round some land, 
To stay the sea of wrong that vainly raves, 
Forever, on a shore of patriot graves. 

That they went forth to die ; " 

Neither will it have been in vain to all future ages, that 



HOSPITAL PEXCILLINGS. 211 

" Ye went forth to save 
The precious offerings, like the patriarch's, given 
On high Moriah in the faith of Heaven, 
To stay the knife ere yet its point be hurled 
Through hearts which hold the promise of the world, 
That ye went forth to save ! " 






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